Damn Zombies!

Player Rating3.16/8

"#771 overall, #62 for 2012"
based on 442 ratings since 02/26/2012
played 3,500 times (finished 458)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

 

Some stupid scientist managed to create a zombie virus which is spreading everywhere. One zombie managed to get into your house and steal your condoms! Get them back before the zombie uses the whole pack, then make your wife eat your  cock, because there are too much chickens in your farm.   ( A cock is a male chicken you sicko!)

Player Comments

It could have been better. There were a decent amount of options but they all ended up in the same place which kind of took the choice out of a choose your story game. The plot was not the best in that you didn't explain why the zombies were there in the first place. The only thing I liked was the spelling but you used a bigger font than normal which was weird.

3/8
-- JMgskills on 2/26/2012 10:31:17 PM with a score of 0
Not bad for your first attempt, a few pointers.
- I think it would have been cleaner for you to allow the player to pick if they were a boy or girl in the beginning, and then just have different pages. All the (he/she) parts kind of got in the way.
- You should make pages that are longer than a few sentences, otherwise people won't get into your story. Also I don't know why you choose to have a font larger than normal.
- It had its funny moments, but the story was kind of lacking. I also never even got the condoms back from the zombie, which makes me sad :(
- Had no real issues with grammar or spelling

So...yeah. Not bad for your first attempt. Also if this is a demo like you said, you should put a demo tag as one of the tags so people don't think this is the complete version of it.
-- Killa_Robot on 2/26/2012 6:59:09 PM with a score of 0
This was pretty damn good for a first story game- though it's been a while since I was on this site, so take what I say comparing this to others with a grain of salt.

The first thing I noticed is that you can only go one direction, and there is only one ending. You can't have another ending unless you die, and I tried every route. The second is that most of the choices are based on luck. One gets you killed, one doesn't, and some of the choices don't make any difference to what you find on the second page. I would recommend that you try to make at least two endings, or maybe just have a few paths branch out for more than two pages that just lead to the same place for a bit of variety. The other things I noticed are that there isn't much detail. It's not a big problem, since this storygame obviously isn't supposed to be too serious, but it is a thing. The last bad thing I noticed is the punctuation. Remember the periods after sentences, including speech in quotation marks, and add commas in the pauses.

Now for the positive! If this is your first storygame, like I saw in some comments, it's pretty good! It's better to make a fun, and goofy one not meant to be anything like Dead Man Walking and get light criticism, improve, and know how toxic the comments can get than try to make a masterpiece on your first shot and get beaten down by everyone who finds a tiny flaw.
I personally enjoyed this, if not for the plot for the goofiness. It was fun.

Another thing- if I seemed harsh, know I'm trying to help with the limited writing knowledge I have. Constructive criticism.

5/8
-- Aquatic on 12/31/2020 8:04:45 PM with a score of 0
Pretty funny XD Like how it reperesents a lot of zombie movies lol.
-- ScaleyTheDino on 9/4/2020 9:56:04 PM with a score of 0
nice but why did i have to die by falling lol
-- million on 4/11/2020 1:47:32 AM with a score of 0
not bad for a first story not the best but it was fun
-- Aidan on 4/2/2020 6:15:26 PM with a score of 0
WHY CANT ALL CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH BE LIKE THIS??!?!
-- Caol_forall on 11/28/2019 8:15:08 AM with a score of 0
Nice story
-- Masterkiller5000 on 9/27/2019 2:38:51 PM with a score of 0
again again
-- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:10:57 AM with a score of 0
lets do it again
-- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:09:58 AM with a score of 0
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