Player Comments on Life as a teenager

Well the first page doesn’t really set the expectations high. I’m not sure why it sucks to be me, but apparently it does. That might be more effective if reasons were given there as part of the story. The story could show things that have happened, perhaps; or could even show the things as they happen so I feel like it sucks to be me instead of simply being told it completely out of character and out of the flow of the story. In fact, I think you really could leave out all the parenthetical phrases throughout the entire story and that would actually improve the story.

I am glad there are at least choices in the story that appear to have an effect on the story: that’s a key to a good cyoa story. The pictures were a nice addition to the story in some places. It was an okay story based on a reasonable idea. It was a little preachy, but I guess that was the point of the story. I’m not sure one hit on a joint when you’re drunk will ensure that you’re a life-long drug addict in jail, but whatever, it’s your story.

Overall this was a nice attempt at a story with good branching and reasonable writing. I think it could be a bit improved with some more detailed writing and additional descriptions. Thank you for sharing the story with the site.
-- Ogre11 on 7/9/2018 12:15:46 PM with a score of 0
I'm honestly a bit concerned that you needed the help of three co-authors or write something so short and small.

First off, we did have some branching here. Definitely not a lot, but there was some, so I guess that part was alright. However, the branching that there was felt a bit lazy, as if you put a lot of effort into one path and then decided to rush the others so you could publish as soon as possible.

I guess it's a simple little story about being a teenager, but a lot of choices were completely illogical, and your character was able to have multiple split personalities through the story. If you can muster the courage to make fun of your friend for being retarded, with tons of people watching, how did this character even get friends in the first place?

The grammar wasn't as good as it should have been. Short stories like this generally shouldn't have many grammar mistakes since they're so easy to proofread.

Most of the endings were completely random and illogical.

And, also, to be honest i'm a bit confused about the story in general. It was incredibly linear and confusing.

I feel like i'm being very generous giving this a 2/8.
-- MinnieKing on 5/12/2017 4:25:46 PM with a score of 0
This story was the definition of Dog Shit. I mean, I hated this story for no other reason besides how terribly bad it was. It's just so wrong and unreasonable that it physically triggers me. I'm a fucking teenager, and this is definitely not how life goes okay.
I mean, let's start with the central issue lack of a plot actually let me rewrite that. Lack of anything like where and what and why did your best friend gets diagnosed with anorexia. Just randomly out of the blue, shes diagnosed with why whats her backstory. You could have turned this into a decent story if you had tried to build a plot, but you didn’t. You do realize that you don’t get sent to mental hospitals if you have anorexia. Anorexia is an eating disorder, which means yes, you get help from people, BUT NOT IN A FUCKING MENTAL HOSPITAL. This story actually triggers me a whole lot. Don’t make a story if you have no clue what your writing about. Anorexia is an eating disorder that effects eating mental hospitals are for criminals who claimed mental illness and have gotten away with it. There is no reason for your friend to be in a hospital for having a widespread eating disorder. Next thing with your story just being incorrect; what does handling a medical emergency calmly have to do with your social skills like how. I mean, I get you saved someone's life, but that has absolutely nothing to do with someone's social skills.
Overall, the information in this story is incorrect and shameful.
Grammar was surprisingly decent. I per se didn’t find anything, but then again, I am no Gower, and I don’t notice every little detail wrong with your grammar. Surprisingly, for a story with these bad reviews, nothing was terrible with grammar. The plot was difficult to find. You could almost take it as a parallel plot structure, but your friend having anorexia and that one person having a seizure or something have nothing to do with each other.

I really did HATE this game.
-- Davefaster on 10/13/2019 11:32:14 PM with a score of 0
It was a little weird, my friend died and then it just ended? Not very interesting.
-- StupidManatee on 7/21/2019 5:45:16 PM with a score of 0
Pros

- The writing was alright. Gave just enough detail so I knew what was going on, but left my mind to fill in the gaps

Cons

- Some grammatical issues
- Bare bones descriptions

Summary

It's uninspired, light on content, and teetering on boring. However, it's short enough that I don't care. 3/8
-- Master_of_All4 on 9/29/2018 3:13:30 PM with a score of 0
Hello! I like your story although it is kind of short and it doesn't have much of a plot. On the other hand, I know you worked really hard and over all I liked it!
-- thewingsofruexx on 8/11/2018 7:03:55 PM with a score of 0
It was too short...also, this wasn't really the normal life as a teenager
-- abchiaramonte on 7/24/2018 7:43:40 AM with a score of 0
I got the best ending and it was actually very fun. 8/8
-- HappyPaws on 5/21/2018 7:29:55 PM with a score of 0
super lame
-- Jakethebro on 2/21/2018 4:58:24 PM with a score of 0
I really liked this game. Including where I had to choose whether to help Christie escape or not. Whatever you do, don't help her escape, she needs medical help. Anorexia can kill.
-- Dr. Pigenstein on 7/18/2017 12:26:56 PM with a score of 0
I've only tried one route before, but so far it's not bad at all. Pretty simple, but short and fun.
-- Saika on 3/13/2017 1:05:18 PM with a score of 0
Not realistic. Very simple.
-- Quorrah on 1/23/2017 6:33:01 PM with a score of 0
very easy

got best ending on first try
-- mirakitten on 9/10/2016 12:47:04 PM with a score of 0
I don't know, cause you leave your friend and probably never see her again... but this was a short good story!
-- Girly_Writer246 on 7/18/2016 9:15:39 PM with a score of 0
Very easy, but pretty cool.
-- Forever_Glitch on 1/30/2016 12:19:43 PM with a score of 0
Aw yeah! The best ending was actually pretty easy, except the Christine part
-- TheMonitor on 10/10/2015 1:56:17 PM with a score of 0
4/8 Not bad. As a just click through and not care about the characters kinda game. I got the worst ending and was a drug addict. For a fun entertaining few minutes its a good story. If you want depth and substance then its not so go. Anyways I was entertained!
-- JinDary on 6/18/2015 11:17:58 AM with a score of 0
Well, it actually wasn't the typical Life of a teenager as i expected and that part was alright. The story of the best friend with anorexia was pretty interesting.

But, here comes the but, this story could be made way better. The story could have been more thorough and you could have added more details and drama. It was quite good but it lacked some aspects to make it great.
-- Penworth on 6/8/2015 10:10:42 AM with a score of 0
You got the worst ending!
Well done.....lol! :)
-- corgi213 on 5/19/2015 9:09:33 PM with a score of 0
I love how I killed my friend and got the best ending :P
-- bjhovey on 3/3/2015 9:43:42 PM with a score of 0
I liked that, a fairly good simulation of teenage life though it's worth pointing out anorexia is an eating disorder and you don't get put in an asylum for having it. Good writing and enjoyable :)
-- Will11 on 1/21/2015 2:57:44 AM with a score of 0
Not exactly realistic.
-- Shinobi on 1/8/2015 12:51:15 AM with a score of 0
I do not understand the danger of tanning beds.
-- FazzTheMan on 12/25/2014 2:34:28 PM with a score of 0
that was a good game. i dont know what anorexia is though
-- pokelover59 on 12/10/2014 12:54:06 PM with a score of 0
it was good could of been loner though
-- maiya on 11/26/2014 6:41:25 PM with a score of 0
this was dumb. just because you don't go to a party doesn't mean you are going to lose all your friends. And why would your best friend get mad at you for not getting them out of a hospital when they need to be in one? and who goes to a mental hospital for a physical condition. you would go to a regular hospital.
-- megaman204 on 8/21/2014 10:51:33 PM with a score of 0
Make It longer
-- KillerQueen15 on 7/25/2014 6:51:22 PM with a score of 0
It is a great game but could you make it longer?
-- CheetahPelt on 7/6/2014 5:23:15 PM with a score of 0
I appreciate the effort that was put into this story. Personally, I would've preferred something slightly longer, but the fact that real life problems are dealt with make this a story a good start to a series based on one's life experience. Keep up the good work, and don't hold back from sharing the thoughts of your heart as you allow those feeling, emotions, and anxieties color your future storytelling.
-- Robby2977 on 6/18/2014 8:43:12 PM with a score of 0
Needs. To. Be. EXTENDED. :D
-- thequeen13 on 6/5/2014 12:05:29 AM with a score of 0
there needs to be more stories like this but for goodness sakes make this longer
-- crookedsmile on 4/27/2014 8:50:01 PM with a score of 0
Also, I am Anna!
Mind blown.
-- iamayeti on 2/8/2014 11:33:31 AM with a score of 0
Stop hating on the game!
I realise it is bad, and we would have made it better if we had time, but frankly I don't see why we have to impress a bunch a idiots who have nothing to do but hate on our game.
Go have an aorotnami or something.
Yes, I used a made up word that none of you understand, and you will spend the rest of your lives wanting to know what it means.
Maybe if you were be a bit nicer, I would tell you.
Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOjNcZvwjxI
-- iamayeti on 2/8/2014 10:53:28 AM with a score of 0
If you're going to include anorexia in a story, make it sound like you actually know what you're talking about.
-- cyrodilicbrandy on 1/29/2014 3:24:48 PM with a score of 0
First, For the Critic, There's 5 Person creating this (+Anna) so I think there should be 5 Problem in the game ( There Are 3 )
And Yes, To be honest its also a bit to Dramatic ( But I feel okay with that, we all have Drama-Queen Friend)
And For The Praise, To be Honest. This Teach me more about Teen's Life, and also Anorexia. You're not the type who use Details but make this "Simple yet Full of Decision"
So 5/8 :)
-- RabbitSeason on 1/13/2014 8:50:55 AM with a score of 0
Sure, this game talks about stuff that teenagers can go through, but this game is overly dramatic, to put it gently.
-- Allusional on 1/10/2014 7:52:15 PM with a score of 0
Yo I just smoked some weed, and I am in prison, YO! This is an exageration
-- Dude on 1/8/2014 12:24:26 AM with a score of 0
It's kind of obvious which choices you're "supposed" to take, which isn't very good in a CYOA. Otherwise, it wasn't horrible.
-- Christian_Writer on 1/3/2014 2:42:43 PM with a score of 0
it was kinda short, but good nevertheless.
-- Il_Maestro on 12/22/2013 10:42:12 PM with a score of 0
Ok guys. We know you hate it- and we don't care.
The only reason we made it is because we have to make a story based on socail issues, and none of us can draw.
Fun times! Don't play, it's only meant for school girls who have never been on this site before so they don't know that there is anything better on the site. So it will be terrible and it is terrible, I know, and I don't care.
Have a nice life.
-- Anna on 12/19/2013 4:14:37 PM with a score of 0
It keeps forcing me to search for Christie, I don't give a damn about Christie!
-- DieCisScum on 12/15/2013 10:52:11 AM with a score of 0
I'm not sure what you think you will get for making 4 accounts.
2 of them were created on the same day a few months back and again two were made yesterday.

Also not a very exciting story, I had no reason to care for the people or for my own character. Very short.
-- Fireplay on 12/14/2013 6:48:04 PM with a score of 0
Very short and very preachy. We're told we care about characters we've just been introduced to, but we never learn anything about them, so it's difficult to care. The right answers tend to be very obvious; it feels like one of those anti peer pressure movies they made us watch in middle school.
-- Sszinid on 12/13/2013 3:56:34 PM with a score of 0
It's an ok game, but for 4 authors that's pretty short.
-- lucas on 12/12/2013 8:40:55 PM with a score of 0
Please work on it a bit more! Like this it is extremely schematic, and linear... besides very moralistic! Life is not always about right/wrong choices! Give some background on the characters, descriptions
-- vukodlak on 12/12/2013 3:18:59 PM with a score of 0
For THAT many authors to have written this story together, I find it very short. The tone is artificial, and a reader would feel as if he or she is being forced to be some sort of spineless dim-wit who would feel deprived without socializing often. Not only are the choices here inane and rather bland, the endings cull the readers into believing that there can only be one good path in life : an impossible-to-achieve-goody-two-shoes.

http://i.imgur.com/ZGdNdQn.png
-- Swiftstryker on 12/12/2013 9:13:36 AM with a score of 0
It was awesome!!
-- SarahMarchant22 on 12/12/2013 4:58:06 AM with a score of 0
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