, #104 for
played 559 times (finished 95)
"march in the swamp"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.
A story of your dream vacation...or is it?
I like the setup for this story. The first page is interesting and really gets you moving and into the story. This is an emergency and time is of the essence! I like that there were options on the first page, but I’m not really sure how many married men are actually going to choose any option that has him going on a cruise without his wife. I mean, sure, if their marriage was on the rocks or something, but then I didn’t get that impression from the first page and if that were the case I wonder if he wouldn’t have just booked the cruise for himself in the first place.
However, after the first page, this one really went downhill. Beyond that page, most of the options appeared to be of the type where you have to select the “right” choice or the story ends. This story really does have a lot of potential and could be expanded into a much longer and much better story. I think there could be more descriptions of the different choices and different results. Instead, all of the endings seemed a bit rushed. After all, I went to check my bags and then suddenly had a heart attack? I eat some ice cream and end up cutting a guy’s hand off? (Sorry if I included spoilers for you there).
Overall, this is a good effort and has great potential. The idea here could really be developed more and the endings could be expanded quite a bit. Thank you for sharing this with the site.
on 7/5/2018 12:51:24 PM with a score of 0
This makes me wonder if the vacation is as bad as the dream one.
on 5/21/2017 1:51:09 PM with a score of 0
Well, it was all a dream???!
on 12/22/2016 10:58:56 PM with a score of 0
It probably would have been more fun if I actualy went on the Cruise XDD.
on 12/22/2016 10:57:19 PM with a score of 0
Short but sweet.
on 7/22/2016 12:21:48 PM with a score of 0
In the story, I had a dream that I'm late for my work flight, my wife's missing and I left a note, she called me because she was helping a woman who fell off her bed, I went to the airport without her, my plane crashed, and then I realized it was just a dream.
on 7/1/2016 4:22:52 PM with a score of 0
That was dumb. It was also pretty short.
-- Kate on 5/22/2016 6:50:11 PM with a score of 0
Not the best but certainly not the worst. Its just ok for me.
on 3/9/2015 8:46:01 PM with a score of 0
Rubbish. Ill conceived premise and poorly executed.
-- Jordi P on 11/6/2014 12:10:01 PM with a score of 0
The story line made little since to me and ,cut your hand off?!?! Sereiously?
-- Anonymous on 10/12/2014 1:34:18 PM with a score of 0
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