Moribund School Day
, #40 for
played 1,808 times (finished 162)
"mosie through a minefield"
"A well spent lunch break"
"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
It's a normal day at school right? Noooope
So I assume that the things the students had to band together to fight against were zombies, correct?
There's some issues with grammar in this, thus this story would have benefited a great deal from some more thorough proofreading. But still this was pretty fun, this was definitely one of the rather interesting stories on this site that I've read.
The pictures for the most part seemed rather random, but I assume that they were meant to be humorous. Some were for the most part, but others made me arch a brow while reading to be honest. Still, they did give this story some more life in the long run. I would suggest utilizing pictures in a more focused manner in the future, because you really want to make sure that what the reader is reading fits well with the dialogue that they're reading.
This story has a interesting premise with a unknown threat suddenly attacking a school, but it certainly would've been better if the writing in this was more structured and cohesive.
There's some effort in this storygame, but this certainly could be better.
on 3/21/2017 8:31:11 PM
For starters, the grammar in this story needs to be fixed. The paragraphs are just large blobs of text, with no real dialogue to break up what's going on. Characters are mentioned but don't really have any prevalence in the story at all. The decisions are present, but it's more of a good/bad system.
Overall, this story needs a lot of work. Concept is good, but the execution is hideous.
on 9/15/2015 1:35:17 PM
I'm not really sure what those creature things were. If there was a page that explained that, I must've missed it. Anyways, the game wasn't bad, but the pictures didn't seem to have anything to do with the game. Like, there was one part with you and your friends went to get help and it showed a picture of a little girl about 4 years old, running around with a bubble blower thingy... What's with that? :p
on 1/8/2013 1:15:18 PM
on 4/20/2017 3:59:27 PM
This seemed sort of like a zombie story but was still pretty good. I think it could've been a little longer and a little more descriptive though.
-- hblovecraft on 1/9/2017 11:30:29 AM
Admittedly, I died immediately.
-- Morganis on 8/14/2016 3:01:17 PM
This story is creepy.
-- Angela on 9/5/2015 10:05:46 PM
Didn't understand a word. What the hell?
-- Ginger on 3/18/2015 1:30:37 PM
timithybenett! it is obvious if (like me) you played through every option then you would have found out that they are ZOMBIES! you are a complete idot! if you did what I did and you still didn't understand that it was a zombie then you are the stupidest thing ever! and to the auther of this story, I give you for the first time ever a 10/10! "EVERY ONE ON EARTH CLAP!!" *pulls out a lion and threatens to turn every one into a gazel* *every one on earth claps but timothybennet* *turn tim into a gazel and sets the lion lose* *tim dies* "TAKE THAT TIM!!!" lol
-- anna on 3/1/2015 10:30:54 PM
That was pretty fun. No hate that was great.
-- Hannah on 1/18/2015 10:56:30 PM
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