Moribund School Day
, #45 for
played 2,058 times (finished 188)
"mosie through a minefield"
"A well spent lunch break"
"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
It's a normal day at school right? Noooope
So I assume that the things the students had to band together to fight against were zombies, correct?
There's some issues with grammar in this, thus this story would have benefited a great deal from some more thorough proofreading. But still this was pretty fun, this was definitely one of the rather interesting stories on this site that I've read.
The pictures for the most part seemed rather random, but I assume that they were meant to be humorous. Some were for the most part, but others made me arch a brow while reading to be honest. Still, they did give this story some more life in the long run. I would suggest utilizing pictures in a more focused manner in the future, because you really want to make sure that what the reader is reading fits well with the dialogue that they're reading.
This story has a interesting premise with a unknown threat suddenly attacking a school, but it certainly would've been better if the writing in this was more structured and cohesive.
There's some effort in this storygame, but this certainly could be better.
on 3/21/2017 8:31:11 PM
For starters, the grammar in this story needs to be fixed. The paragraphs are just large blobs of text, with no real dialogue to break up what's going on. Characters are mentioned but don't really have any prevalence in the story at all. The decisions are present, but it's more of a good/bad system.
Overall, this story needs a lot of work. Concept is good, but the execution is hideous.
on 9/15/2015 1:35:17 PM
I'm not really sure what those creature things were. If there was a page that explained that, I must've missed it. Anyways, the game wasn't bad, but the pictures didn't seem to have anything to do with the game. Like, there was one part with you and your friends went to get help and it showed a picture of a little girl about 4 years old, running around with a bubble blower thingy... What's with that? :p
on 1/8/2013 1:15:18 PM
on 9/17/2018 6:22:48 PM
I really wish this was longer
on 1/9/2018 10:26:05 AM
It was the perfect length and was very interesting. I also liked that you could choose either defensive or offensive and still win
-- EUniverse on 10/31/2017 5:26:23 PM
on 4/20/2017 3:59:27 PM
This seemed sort of like a zombie story but was still pretty good. I think it could've been a little longer and a little more descriptive though.
-- hblovecraft on 1/9/2017 11:30:29 AM
Admittedly, I died immediately.
-- Morganis on 8/14/2016 3:01:17 PM
This story is creepy.
-- Angela on 9/5/2015 10:05:46 PM
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