Night of the Wolves

Player Rating2.86/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 21 ratings since 10/29/2018
played 84 times (finished 28)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

At a camp somewhere in Indiana, you are just a normal kid who gets bitten by a werewolf. Sure it's a bit cheesy and short, but it has a total of seven different endings. You survive the ending in four of them.

Player Comments

First page: the bell rings in the distance. Should be: The bell rings in the distance.

I don't have the patience like some members do to find and fix every typo, but I have seen several capitalization errors. I suggest you comb through them and fix them after judging.

Booooo! "You have reached the "Absolutely nothing happened and you finished before turning into a werewolf ending.
This is one of seven possible endings, but with this ending I would suggest restarting because you didn't even go through any of the story."

If you're gonna write an early epilogue, don't try to make readers feel bad. You should have led them through the good parts of the story first.

I was honestly expecting a bit more from you, I have to say, the "True" ending was a bit disappointing? Is this character supposed to be the protagonist from Repression or something? They seemed very calm for someone who just got bit and turned to a flesh eating monster.

Instead of saying how or what someone feels, try to show us. It goes a lot further than whatever the hell you've been doing. Any ways, keep writing, keep improving.
-- corgi213 on 11/4/2018 10:24:28 PM with a score of 0
I generally try not to not comment on other entries until after the judging, but this one ...the thing I was struck by immediately is the fact it's a very short story, published a full two days before the deadline, and the author didn't proofread it at all?

Undr already brought up the tense switching, but the punctuation especially is kinda painful and the issues start with the very first sentence. I was basically skimming this after the first couple pages, I quickly got the sense the author didn't care at all so why should I?

It takes all of two seconds to google how to punctuate dialogue or open a book and see for yourself, for instance. The fact that it's done differently in every other line here shows the author was just randomly guessing and hoping for the stopped clock effect at best. That's just lazy and sloppy. Whatever your skill at actual writing is, you can't ignore the basic technical aspects and expect anyone to take a story seriously.
-- mizal on 10/31/2018 6:35:40 AM with a score of 0
Yes this storygame is short, but that's not its problem; you could have easily written a decent story within that same word count.

The real problem is that this seems like an half-assed attempt.
The tense of the narration keeps switching between past and present, the storylines are rushed and I didn't find one original/creative idea in the whole plot. There are also some errors (or typos) but I'm not going to focus on those.

There are lots of passages that are just aseptic summaries of what happens. Some of them even managed to make me snort, so if you'd gone for comedy you might have at least gained a point in the rating. For example, (spoilers) the ease with which the special girl is killed after a total of two paragraphs of conversation is hilarious. The conflict of the girl with the alpha could've been an occasion to develop an interesting path, but you've opted for this: "The two werewolves fought for about two minutes before in the end the girl was killed by a bite in the neck."
If you then try to avenge her you istantly die a summarized death; if you instead follow the alpha you live for an equally summarized paragraph in the woods. And every one of the advertised seven paths is like that: a pair of cliché lines of dialogue and a matter-of-fact summary of the actions.

Also, in the first page you imply that wolves howl because of the full moon, and that's a pretty dumb mistake to make if you're writing a story about wolves.

I might be harsh but try to take this criticism as a chance to improve.
-- undr on 10/29/2018 6:27:32 PM with a score of 0
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