Player Comments on Personal Demons

This was quite the entertaining read. I've enjoyed how much action that this story is packed with. It does a good job in replicating the exciting action that one can possibly see from watching a wrestling show. There were also interesting choices to make both inside the ring, and outside of it as well.

What I found to be done the best, was the strategy involved in the actual match portion of this story-game. Winning the championship isn't something that's easily earned, but is a feat that the reader must make careful decisions in the ring to obtain. I liked how there were variety in the moves, and there were slight changes to the outcome, depending on how bad or good that you may have done.

Very fun indeed. The choice of dialogue is vibrant, and so is the setting. I think if certain other decisions were made, the story wouldn’t have been as exciting as it ended up being. Fortunately, the writer did a good enough job to keep me engaged with what I was reading.

From reading the description, I really wondered how all of the themes would be handled, and whether or not they would mesh well with each other at that. I'm happy to say that nothing felt truly out of place, and the author managed to keep consistency in the quality of the writing. I'm sure that couldn’t have always been easy to do, but the effort to make that the case shows. Also points for taking into account the replayability that a story-game medium can offer. Giving the opportunity to play through to see how one can possibly become a contender, or a champion, choosing perhaps a different choice here and there, I feel that's the essence of cyoa captured well.

Honestly, this story-game is one that I can recommend for anyone that winds up on its page. Especially if that person has an interest in wrestling, or the supernatural as well. You cannot go wrong with this title, I feel.

Great work.

Wow! :D I'm not a fan of wrestling or anything, but this storygame was certainly entertaining. ^-^

You had a good storyline with all the right points. Though, you didn't build up much suspense. I wasn't excited for the Championship, and it didn't seem like the character did anything toward winning the championship except conquering/not conquering his inner demon.

While you have great dialogue, your descriptions are a bit lacking. Oftentimes in the story, I would find myself lost - WHERE is the protagonist? What's around him? You did have a few brief sentences here and there, but that picture wasn't painted. I didn't have a good idea of what the setting looks like.

Vixen seemed to be simply an object of affections. When going to the movies and having dinner, I had no idea how to imagine her. While you wrote that Will had a nice time, it didn't really feel that way. You did a lot of direct characterization for Vixen, and it doesn't really tell me much about her.

Will and the inner demon was an interesting idea. Though, I think the idea of directly "choosing" if he overcomes his inner demon defeats the point of it. The inner demon is supposed to come out when the character lacks control, not when the character "chooses". Obviously, one would choose to overcome them (both ways are a good read).

The fighting was linear, as mentioned in the other comment(s). I understood how it worked - the Champ's impression of Will gets better the longer he lasts - but it made it a bit annoying to have to go back. Also, you gave a small description of each of the moves sometimes. Try giving descriptions every time because I have no idea what they are! I ended up having to randomly choose between two choices, which makes thinking about the best tactic pointless.

Otherwise, your grammar, spelling, and dialogue is excellent. You have some action scenes and some contemplative scenes. Your writing is good, but just work on descriptions. Your storyline fits together nicely and works well as a complete story.

The game is certantly good, but there is one major drawback that stops it from getting a 7/8.
The battle scenes are completely linear. It's either good move or bad move, and it doesn't allow for more events. I'd suggest using a scripting mechanic to factor health, and allowing for more then one move to work. Other then that, the game is great, especially for wrestling fans. Not one myself, but I have a friend who'd enjoy this game immensely.
6/8

I cannot believe that we have a CYS version of the gay wrestling story and it's also a pretty good one too. An easy read plus dynamic fights.

nice

Nice! I liked the storyline and the choices given, the combat options were a nice touch too. I got the ending where I win with Demon Chance, pretty cool. Enjoyed the story!

Piledriver...

The story was great and the details, particularly in the wrestling battles, were more than enough. However, it derailed me from giving higher reviews because it was too short. But still, you deserve a decent rating for that good effort, which although did not become the best story, also did not become the worst story.

5/8.

Wow. Amazing!

WOO! STRIKER IN BEAST MODE! 8/8!

Awesome. Just pure awesome. You're a really good writer! You should make more! ;)

Excellent game, I was confused about why I was being assisted by the "friend," but overall enjoyable.

Great game! It brings me enlightment. I truly loved the way it was written. Write a sequel.

Second read thru...awesome . Diff choices demon path crazy

Well, an intriguing story to say the least! A bit linear in some places with the choices which made me disconnect from the story. I believe an indication about the "demon" should've been made much earlier. Overall, it was still enjoyable.

It was pretty good, coherant and structured.

Awesome....o man I got chills when they popped him in the alley
And he had his "conversations"

Pretty good, except that having the knowledge of a wrestler is something that not everyone has.

Good game, Love the non-linearity of this game, though I would have used pictures at certain wrestling skills since I had no idea what they were. Continue writing good story's like this and you may even get yourself a feature faster than you might think.

5/8

Wow! Very well done. :) A great first story, and I'm looking forward to any other storygames you might publish. A great start to what will hopefully be a prolific career! ;)

Despite being plagued with scenes that are confusing (if not ridiculous) to say the least and being too short by far, it provided certain elements of amusement here and there.
Overall, I found it over-rated, yet at times capable of relative entertainment. A valiant first attempt – above the usual standard and certainly more enduring than anything that I could ever hope to produce…

Awesome! I love it! I made up a Superhero once called "Random Man" Who wore a costume with a giant "Z" on it because an "R" wouldn't be random. So of course, when I saw the "Captain Random" option, I just had to take it... And I wasn't disappointed. He was spectacularly insane and made the game so much fun to play ^_^

yeah, I'm free. lol. this is the first wrestling-related storygame I've ever played/read. although I'm a girl, I find it enjoying.

Great work especially for your first storygame. By this game, I can say that you are capable of writing quality stories which is great for this community. I would like to see more great stories from you.

The game was quite fun and I made sure to try out some of the other paths.
You did a great job on making realistic choices and I hope you make another story soon. Good luck!

Very engaging story, well written, with an excellent narrative. I only wish it was longer and the ring fights had more options. Top shelf story though - Great job! =)