Trouble in paradise part two

Player Rating2.08/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 36 ratings since
played times (finished )

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

This game is the second part of trouble in paradise. If you read the first trouble in paradise then you know what's happening. If you didn't let me sum it up. You are on a plane that crashes. You find yourself on death island, an island that is controlled by evil masterminds.

Player Comments

EEC: "It looks like you've met the bees."
Me with my dying breath "They're....wasps."
-- corgi213 on 12/3/2015 8:55:09 PM with a score of 0
What? This story is super linear (although there are a few parts where you can survive with two choices on the same page) and written terribly. I would recommend that you make it better by fixing grammar and make more choices.
-- TheBossWriter on 11/28/2015 1:56:50 AM with a score of 0
@Will11 , haha!

"You need to work on the spelling, the grammar, the characters, the setting and the plot, otherwise it was fine."

You could have saved yourself a lot of space and just wrote "everything"! What is this "otherwise" component? It seems like you crossed off pretty much everything on the list!
-- Aducan on 11/25/2015 2:33:37 AM with a score of 0
It's trolol, that guy who gave himself praise in the comments section of his own story.

Having known that, I really don't know what I expected I'd find here...
-- Aducan on 11/25/2015 2:30:58 AM with a score of 0
I loved this story, but some parts didn't make sense. I agree with bilbo on this story
-- darx on 11/24/2015 7:21:47 PM with a score of 0
Better than the last one, but still could use lots of work. It's hunger games minus the length or characters.
-- bilbo on 11/24/2015 1:14:10 AM with a score of 0
You need to work on the spelling, the grammar, the characters, the setting and the plot, otherwise it was fine.

Also do you think it would be possible to combine these parts into one single story? If they could fit War and Peace into one book I've got a feeling you'll be able to merge these parts into one story too :)

The longer you spend on your stories the better it will be but if you rush your stories and don't care about them then the readers won't either. Spend time developing your ideas before writing them up.
-- Will11 on 11/23/2015 10:37:21 PM with a score of 0
For the next one, I'd recommend using a spellchecker. Also, it's very short and people around here prefer to have everything in a single storygame rather than a series of storygames.
-- igulat on 11/23/2015 6:14:06 PM with a score of 0
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