4/28/2025

4/29/2025 11:01 AM

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Sage

 

Thank you I guess, I will try to fix my grammar more, and I'm glad your not lying to me. I know my story is not the best, In fact, I'm still a beginner, so I have time to fix my grammar and story

Thank you crimson, I will fix these mistakes.

please tell me what you guys think about it.

Chapter 1 The school entry Jack, Donnie, Davy, and Lisindy went to the school “Corage Institution Of Analyba” or CIOA. CIOA was known for a massive haunting back in 1824. the school has have many sightings of ghosts and the screams of people. the sightings were in 1824, 1924, and 2024. over the years their have been over 400 missing people reports filled out, ranging from women to children to men. the school is located in the middle of the Bermuda triangle. jack, Donnie, Davy, and lisindy are 13, 14, 14 1/2, and 15. as the children were in school there was a lock down, little did the kids know that they would be trapped in the school. there was a giant cemetery about 2.2 mi from the school. as the children hid in the classroom, they could hear the moans and screams from the ghosts. jacks grandparents had died from something mysterious. The autopsy had shown there was very toxic neon in their system. it’s December of 2023. the hauntings are said to be every one hundred years. on the day back from New Years, they were on the bus home when suddenly the bus had come to a hard hult. all the kids screamed in terror as they got swiped away by a ghost, but one thing that the four kids couldn’t imagine would be that they were left there.

Hi i'm new, but i've been writing a story for a while now, I wanted to see what you guys think about one of them.