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Okay, every once in a while, I'm going to post a page of my Warriors story in this thread. This is for proof reading purposes, but if you have suggestions, post them, if it's good or bad, post that too.

@Rosetail, @At_Your_Throat, @feathersoul

   The forest ground is littered with small leaves that feel soft under your small, white paws. You lift your striped head high in the crispy air, hoping to catch a scent. Then you smell a vole. A few steps forward and you see it, chewing on an little acorn while sitting on a tree root. You are glad that your orange pelt provides camouflage. You slowly creep forward, and with each small step you take, it becomes easier to imagine its juicy flesh being chewed in your mouth. The brown vole doesn't notice you, now intent on scratching its ear.

   Then, a small twig snaps under your clumsy paws. The vole sits up and looks around the forest. It then spots you and, getting to its feet, it quickly dashes away.

   You...

   ...quickly scramble to your feet and dash after it.

   ...stay where you are and think about how stupid you were.

First, I didn't get a tagging notification, maybe because of that thing> ,

Second, I'm sorry for being stupid, but is it 'leafs' or 'leaves'? I don't know.

Other than that I'd say this is pretty good writing, I'm not an expert, but in my opinion it is.

"Stay where you are and think about how stupid you were." could lead in to a different adventure. Like you meet someone, you wouldn't have if you'd have chased the vole. I don't know if it was your intention or not.

This is actually a dream the cat has. I think I'll add in something like that when the cat explores the forest.

(another kittypet to warrior story, I'm afraid)

As long as there's something to make it different from the other kittypet to warrior stories, I don't mind.

My story will be your kit>apprentice>blahblahblah stories, but there will be prophecies and an explosion and all that stuff.

That is the she-cat dream. As a tom, you dream of hunting an eagle on the mountains. The tom story is set in the past, when WillowClan lived in the mountains. 

I didn't get the tagging either, just came to this thread while looking around in the forums. Anyway, I'd say it's pretty good writing. Kittypet to warrior stories arent that bad, because the first book of warriors is a kittypet to warrior story. Erin Hunter somehow made it interesting.

I edited the post to tag people after no one had posted for an hour. If you edit tags in a post, I guess it doesn't tag the people.

Probably because there weren't kittypets before Erin Hunter. But I neither have a problem with the kittypet story, unless it's the same kittypet story used in nearly every WC game here.

It's "leaves" not "leafs."

In that case, I have been posting the wrong form in the RPs...

Why me?