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Questions about a storygame? Thoughts on Eternal? Any other IF you're playing out there?

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago

Hello again, beloved forums. I'd like to announce my game, Dawnwood. It's not a massive, long epic or anything, but more a (relatively) short horror story I made. I though I'd make a shorter game just to add a break between Path of Death (Cheeky self-advertising: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-path-of-death) and my next, undecided story which I would like to make another massive game, and this fit the bill pretty well. I'd love to hear your guys opinions on how I did with the horror bits as that's kind of new ground for me. That's everything, I think. Thanks, and please enjoy!

Dawnwood: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dawnwood

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago

I'll probably be reading it later.

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago
I will definitely play this, Steve. Just as soon as the darned contest is finally over... (kinda wishing I hadn't entered and had just kept writing on my other game, but hey, it was a learning experience, lol.) Note to self: never enter a week long contest EVER again, heh. Anyways, definitely looking forward to reading and will comment more later. :)

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago

@Steve24833

My god Steve. You really know me. A sexy teen named Mason? That's exactly my definition.

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago

I really liked the story, there was a healthy amount of suspense and intrigue. I saw a lot of similarities to 'The Secret of Daphne', another story I thoroughly enjoyed. 

The characterisation of the protagonist and the teenagers was quite good and felt genuine, maybe certain parts relied slightly too much on the dialogue, but that's a very minor point. I haven't played the game enough times to judge how linear it is, but I noticed there were several different endings, which is a big plus in my book. The choices also seemed reasonable, I thought 'The Dead Man' in particular was a really nice twist. 

The main reason I can't rate it higher is because I noticed several typos (admittedly hard to avoid in such a large story) and a couple of times where the grammar wasn't perfect. Fortunately this didn't affect the flow of the story, and I was engaged to the end (except for maybe one overly long page, but that one had a great twist at the end of it, so it was worth the read). In the end I rated this a 6/8, but I think it could become a 7/8 with some polishing of typos and use of dialogue, and a more original beginning.

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago

How in the fuck did you finish this so fast?

I'll check it out tomorrow, and hopefully catch up with reading some of the contest stories too. A combination of work and Stardew Valley has kept me away from the site over a week, all the new stuff is really piling up on me.

New Game: Dawnwood

8 years ago

I'm locked in a basement. I write and cry to myself for fun. That's it.