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Hi i'm looking for a writing helper i am making a story game Called love and lust it's a romance story i just want  someone to look and review it to see what to change or to add a few things to it i'm willing to receive help and please reply if you want to help thanks and a have a great day!!!

I just wanted to point out that you have created the longest run-on sentence I have ever seen.

sorry about that

Kid, this needs to be in the writer's workshop. @Sethaniel
Edit: Also, if your story description in your profile matches
with your writing style, you need to seriously check for grammar.

Agreeing with JimmySutton here, this thread could stand to be moved.

That said, I might be open to helping you with writing your story game. I specialize in grammar editing and writing dialogue/character interaction.

Edit: ...And while I'm at it, I've become aware that your profile states you're twelve. As someone who's been writing for a very long time, I may be able to give pointers for how to structure conflict and plotline. I don't want to do everything for you; it's your creative endeavor, I simply wish to assist.

Yay, Seth, moved it!

Praise be to Seth, mover of poorly-placed threads.

Then again, the kid's new. He might have not had the foresight to tell where he should put it.

So, @keno351, I could not really tell by your description, but what is your game about? Who are the characters and what is the theme of your story?

well it's a romance between two different characters (depends on what gender you pick in the game  a student and a teacher (i know it sounds pretty weird) and they usually be together but when the teachers secret pops out the student and the teacher go out on a journey (just to stay away from the media nd all) so theme is really talking about how love can be strong and can go a long way and i wanted to give that message out there that love has no age so i just wanted to put that out there

... Nevermind. I want no part in this.

So, the teacher just says yes? What do you mean by "to stay away from the media", is this a high school or college thing? There is so much I have to ask about your setup.

Keno, don't write this. You should probably check this article out.

http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=3839

if you can paste you can link. The chain ( a link) besides the two As.

http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=3839

 

 

He may have the rich text editor off. It tends to screw with formatting in the StoryGame editor.

Yeah I have it off. I know how to hyperlink something.

While love may not have an age, romantic love and the legality of it absolutely does--though it varies greatly from country to country. I am curious now, though: How old do you intend for these characters to be, Keno?