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I'm currently working on my first CYOA, and I have a clear understanding of how I want the result to be. A good ending is always something a reader enjoys, but introductions are just as important. What I really want to accomplish first (since I mapped everything out already) is the description, which grabs the reader's attention. It'll give the readers the background of who they are and what they'll face. I was wondering if this did the job:

Description for Story:

In your third year of being an FBI Agent, you thought you had seen it all, the worst of the worst. However, you receive a case concerning Alex Milton, a former FBI Agent who went rogue and pulled off an armed robbery and murder. You team up with Andrea, a snarky detective, to bring justice to Chicago’s streets. As you come closer and closer to pinning Alex down, the truth unfolds, leaving you with a hard decision. 

Background:

You are Clinton Rogers, a male FBI Agent who graduated from the 20-week training 3 years ago. Upon graduation, you received your gun, badge, and credentials. You are 34, and in impeccable shape, since your field requires it. You reside in Chicago, in a third-story apartment, and your office is stationed at the FBI Chicago Field Office. 

Additional Notes:

There is some vulgar language in this, especially derogatory, so YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. 

Throughout the story, more characters will be shown and interacted with.

Please leave comments notifying me of any bugs, grammar mistakes, or typos. I look forward to all your feedback. I am also open to any recommendations!

Any thoughts before I begin the actual writing?

That's a good intro, looks like you thought it out more than most people do. It'd be enough to get me to at least click the game with reasonable confidence that it would entertain me. (You'd be surprised at how often new authors seem completely unable to express what their game is even about...)

One concern I always have with modern crime or legal drama is that there's a *lot* of research required and not everyone is up to that just to write a story. With younger writers especially the inclination seems to be to just handwave everything away on really glaring ways. So this will take a lot of planning, and if it's a mystery that genre brings in its own set of problems.

Looks like a pretty strong intro to me. Honestly, the only thing I'd advise is using regular lower case on "YOU'VE BEEN WARNED." Nobody likes all-caps. They hurt my little eyes. >.<

Alrighty, I have no problem rearranging that. Thanks!

I wouldn't even bother having that part at all. Just make sure to pick an appropriate Maturity Level.