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The Best Joke

9 years ago

I'm trying to find the funniest joke. While I know it's impossible, I want to see what you guys (and girls) know. I don't care how dirty they are as long as they don't violate the rules here.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Well, what rules are there?

The Best Joke

9 years ago

I don't know whatever the common decency rules for the site are

The Best Joke

9 years ago
I don't believe there is any.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
JJJ Please confirm. What was stepping over the line in forums when it came to bad language?

The Best Joke

9 years ago

OK, so a Republican, Democrat, and the Pope walk into a Gay Bar...

 

Oh, wait… That’s probably going to offend someone

 

BZ

The Best Joke

9 years ago

A friend got this joke from the internet and I thought it was pretty funny.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

That's from Captain Underpants :P

The Best Joke

9 years ago
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
My rebuttal to that one is always:

What's worse than the Holocaust?

Things that actually happened.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing?

Because she had no arms.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
A gay man, a jew, a catholic priest and a black man all walk into a bar together… what a fine example of an integrated community.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?

A: We are both lawyers.


antijokes for the win hahaha

The Best Joke

9 years ago
This joke is inapporite but funny.

So a cowboy walks in a bar and bets the bartender 5 beers and 20$ that he can make the horse out side laugh. The bartender of course takes the bet. The cowboy walks outside and the horse starts to laugh. The cowboy comes back into the bar. The bartender says "I don't know how you did that but I bet you double or nothing you can't make the horse outside cry." The cowboy takes the bet steps out and the horse starts to cry.

After the cowboy comes in to collect his wining. The bartender asks "How did you do it?"

The cowboy said, "First I told him my dick was bigger then his, then I showed him."

The Best Joke

9 years ago
hahaha, that's pretty good.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

You've won so far

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Catholics may wish to turn away.

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

 

A priest, the pope, and a boy scout are on a plane when it starts to go down.  There are only two parachutes. The Pope takes one and hands it to the Priest. The Priest says "What about the kid?"

The Pope says "Fuck him."

The Priest says "Think we have time?"

The Best Joke

9 years ago
Why didn't Steve Job's life flash before his eyes?

Apple doesn't support flash.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
JHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. Yes. Win.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
hahaha, also good.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
A penn state administrator walks into a bar...No? Okay, Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station. No?

Alright, Penn State prefers to be losing at half time. At Penn State, they like when you're a little behind in the locker room.

Gotta love South Park haha

The Best Joke

9 years ago
In an old bible group of three old men and one old women are talking about there kids.

One old man says "My sons a priest whenever he walks in a room people say "Hello, Father.""

Another says, "My sons a Bishop, whenever he walks in a room people say, "Hello, Your Excellency.""

Yet a third man says,"My sons the pope, whenever he walks in a room people say, "Hello, Your Holiness."

They all look expectantly at the old women, she lowers her cup and proudly states "My daughter has a 28 waist and a 36 chest, whenever she walks in a room people proclaim "Oh My God.""

The Best Joke

9 years ago
A guy walks into a bar looking pretty down. The bartender asks, "Hey, guy, why the long face?" To which the man replies, "My newborn child was just diagnosed with cystic fibrosis."

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Is it wrong that I laughed my ass off at that?

The Best Joke

9 years ago
Not at all.

What did the woman say when she was raped?

Nothing. She kept it bottled up inside until one day she couldn't take it anymore and she committed suicide.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped off the bridge?

She was clinically depressed and killed herself due to her cripplingly low self esteem.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Lol

The Best Joke

9 years ago
Reasons 1 and 2 of why I am going to hell.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
If there does turn out to be a hell, I'm reserving tickets.

Anyway, joke time.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They rearrange the furniture/They glue doorknobs to the walls/They leave the plunger in the toilet seat.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

And write retard into her palm

The Best Joke

9 years ago
How do you get her to keep a secret?

You break her fingers.

How do you get a baby out of a blender?

Tortilla chips.

The Best Joke

9 years ago
I am on the high way to hell. Who wants to carpool?

best bumper sticker ever.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Don't worry Cool I'll meet you there

The Best Joke

9 years ago
Best bumper stickers are the ones George Carlin proposed:
"My son sells drugs to your honor student."
“We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

The Best Joke

9 years ago
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

The Best Joke

9 years ago

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls paramedics. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "OK, now what?"

The Best Joke

9 years ago
This isn't so much a joke, but it is funny as hell.

My friend told me he was reading this thing on yahoo answers where a girl goes "My boyfriend keeps telling me to make him a sandwich and i want something clever to come back with" and the voted best answer was "you better come back with a goddamn sandwich".

The Best Joke

9 years ago

HAHA I have read that it is pretty funny