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ok it is for my new game give feedback

its ad 2099  you after serving in a war with the things called nightmares (shadow creatures from abides).you after wining the war is sent to earth for 2 years  vactation.

theres is going to be about 9 weapons

key cards to access areas.

i am creating an rpg system that uses weapons and damage.

3 endings and 1 of the best endings

if this is good ill make a part 2

so how do you like my idea

I don't know if you just forgot to mention some things about the story, but I don't really see the plot. So you're given a 2-year leave (that's what it's called by the way, not a vacation), and you have a bunch of weapons and some key cards will be in the story somewhere. Why do you have the weapons? What the hell happens on Earth that you need the weapons for. I mean, you might have a good idea here, but I can't tell without more details.

ok ok  man you nag well if you must know he wont find out what happens to earth. 2 damm sorry  for the misspellings.

you find the weapons you only start with one  weapon. o yes you haveent been to earth in a long time

well your ship crashes on  parick a dessert land. i cant tell you anymore or it will revel the storys plot.  and yes it will have a plot with pepole

 

Okay, so there's a crash landing and something is afoot? I guess that's a nice open story-line that should leave you with plenty of room to work with. I can't really say whether I think you have a good idea or not, since I don't know what the hell is going on; but good luck. (and I didn't bitch about your spelling, so I don't know why you're apologizing for it)

(everyone complains about his spelling or lack thereof. )

I like the detailed backstory for the main character. 

i really dont think DEP was nagging, csf. he was trying to find out more about the story and see if it interested him. to me, it looks like this story is going to be a good one, so wow me buddy-ol-pal.

 

DS

Personally I don't think it will be any good.... OH well..