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Who controls the Church's Crown?

Who keeps the Blood Beasts down?

We do, we do!

Who keeps Carcosa off the maps?

Who keeps the Runes under wraps?

We do, we do!

Who holds back the Dying Squad?

Who makes Marcus Meek a God?

We do, we do!

Who robs the populace of their sight?

Who rigs every living night?

We do!

We do!!!

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Helpful Advice from Players:

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

- Leonardo da Vinci

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

- Albert Einstein

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.

- Dr. Seuss

Stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.

- Abraham Lincoln

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Song credits go to The Simpsons 'Stonecutters' song. I swapped out the names of things to make it more fantasy-ish.

The 'advice' are real quotes I got from a website, Lincolns was made shorter.


So was wondering, what makes a good description?

Furthermore how does one think of a eye catching title? Since that's pretty important.

(Had to share this since I am proud of how it came out, and I could ask some questions :D)

My thoughts so far... I like it. I think it's a catchy description. But here are some suggestions...

The line "who rigs every living night?" Rigs what exactly? You might consider changing that line so the reader can understand it better. It's a little confusing. Also, you should change "Helpful advice from players" to Helpful Advice to Players. After all, Abraham Lincoln didn't play you game, right? Lol.

Aside from that I like it. Can't wait to see the end product. I can't give advice for a catchy title, though. I just randomly think of mine and people generally like them. Doesn't necessarily have to be catchy... just needs to be easy to pronounce and to the point, in my opinion. Good job and good luck!!!  :)

Thanks for the feedback, any suggests for what I could change that line to?

Originally those last two were:

Who robs cavefish of their sight?

Who rigs every Oscar night?

I just changed the word Oscar to living. But reading it now it does sound rather vague (?) since there isn't anything really mentioning who sings this.

I might find it easier to think of something when I have more of the plot/world made. So I could revisit it later.

And indeed, Abraham Lincoln did NOT play my game, actually no one did (yet). I thought it could start as a joke like that, before I added some ACTUAL player advice. But renaming the section does make sense, and I could still add advice from players later. So will do that!

And again, feedback much appreciated, but don't hold your breath. Using the advance editor makes me go mad with 'power'.

- Whats that? You rolled a 2 when you pressed the second game link? Well that means you can't drink the healing potion now just before the END BOSS BUAHAHAHA! -

&

- Maybe if they don't use this item here... they get this companion, but if they don't have this companion they get the choice for this companion... who if they don't get they get THIS companion... but the first companion backstory is all about the third companion...

BUT ONLY IF THEY ROLLED A 5! -

P.S. Might have exaggerated the last two parts a bit...

As to the question about what to change it to... well what do they rig? You could change it to: Who rigs ______ every night?

Makes sense, will think of something, (should be easier when I write more).

"I never said half the shit people on the internet say I did."

-Albert Einstein as he signed the Declaration of Independence.

Seems real, there is the - followed by a name!

As for the quotes, yeah I have no proof they are real (but I trust the first site that popped up!)

xD