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What's a good fantasy story without an optional lore-explaining section? Especially a section that goes on-and-on-and-on....

So yeah, I might have gone a bit overboard with the writing. I do of course, have my entire story outlined. I just haven't gotten to the point of adding any relevant information yet.

I want to know what I should put the axe to, what I should change, why I should delete it and kill myself, whatever. Just give me a bit of feedback.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-triumphant-pantheon

Wall of fucking text.

Lol, nah it wasn’t so bad I couldn’t read it, but in general break up the text into a few more paragraphs.

I would imagine the main complaint you’d get is “info dump” but the whole reason you made it optional is to avoid all that. So I don’t see anything wrong with what you’ve done as far as the optional background is concerned. I’d just leave it all.

The only other thing that looks funny to me is the name Eclua which I keep reading as EULA (End User License Agreement)

Anyway it all seems pretty interesting so looking forward to the story.

What End said, and also just pointing out that if this is an 'optional' infodump, than anything directly relevant to the plot or characters still needs to be integrated into the story.

oh god

Please split your writing into more paragraphs. There were several points where you should've ended one paragraph and went to another. This isn't even a fiction writing thing, this is a regular english writing thing. You gotta learn how paragraphs work.

Okay, thanks everybody. I'll make sure to split my writing into more paragraphs. Yes, all this information is optional and yes, all of it will be integrated into the plot. Thanks for the feedback.