How To Not Be Fucking Weird Online

We Shouldn’t Need This Shit But We Do

   Hiya! I’m fresh, and I’ve seen plenty of online weirdness. This is an article about how to not do that, written based on my experiences and the experiences I’ve heard from other site members.
   To the normal human over the age of fifteen, these points may seem like common sense. That’s because they definitely are.
   If you fit into the above category (>15 normie), this isn’t for you. If you were sent a link to this article, you don’t fit into that category,
   Got yourself sorted now? Alrighty.

1.    Speak in coherent sentences. With CYS being a writing site, it feels like this should go without saying; somehow we end up with a lot of babbling retards nonetheless. When in doubt, refer to the Three Cs of Coherency: clarity, conciseness, and consistency.
       Since you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you don’t know what any of those words mean. “Coherency” refers to the general readability of your post/message/crazed rambling; a coherent post is one that other people can read and understand. Now to define the Three Cs.

• Clarity.

    It’s important to make what you’re saying very clear and understandable. A way to do this is to avoid using weird abbreviations that no one over the age of fifteen has ever seen before, as well as refraining from unnecessary keyboard smashes. 
    Potentially the most important part of this, though, is reading over and checking SPAG. A few mistakes are fine, but if you sound like Ace we have a problem (i.e., misspelling every other word and failing at English despite being born in America). 
    Also: capitalize words that need it, don’t use words you don’t understand (literally just google them if you have to), and just read over it once or twice before hitting “post”.
  Commonly misspelled words to check for: definitely - as well - at least - a lot - necessary

• Conciseness. 

    Get to the point of what you’re saying. If your whole post is going to be a long, extended “well I don’t wanna sayyyy” then just post that and move on— or better yet, shut the fuck up. Don’t stream-of-consciousness post with… so many… ellipses… separating your thoughts, or in any other form.
    I should mention here that this doesn’t mean you can’t post text walls. High-effort text walls may even get you comms. But make sure your text walls really need that amount of words due to the complexity of your ideas and variety of information. If you’d like examples of two very different types of good text walls, go look at Mystic’s or Sent’s commendations list. 

• Consistency.

    Make sure the points in your post/message/profession of insanity all line up with each other and agree. If you make five separate claims that all conflict with each other, you not only sound stupid but no one will listen.
    Please make sure your ideas make sense when written down and not just in your head, and be willing to clarify points if questioned.

2.    If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t talk to them. Try your very hardest to distinguish between genuine interest and politeness. If you feel like you’re intruding, ask. And don’t, don’t send weird sexual stories to internet strangers via private messaging. Especially if they’re younger than you. Even if you have the best possible intentions (whatever that means), it’s gonna come off as weird.
       Also, don’t trauma dump unabated on the forums. This isn’t therapy; there are places for that. Go there. If someone asks or if it’s relevant to the conversation, there’s nothing wrong with talking about your life. But if you turn it into an attention-seeking rant, it’ll be ill-received. 
       Something else that really, really shouldn’t have to be said: don’t. fucking. hit on. kids. It’s not cute, it’s not okay, and you’re not okay. No one will stand up for you; we will all collectively throw you out to the wolves. Not to mention it’s just super fucking messed up, dude.
 

3.     Don’t take everything as a personal attack. People like to have fun (especially here), and most of the time they’re not really serious. Most of the people here don’t care if you’re gay, we care if you’re fucking annoying. :) 
        So if you get called a faggot, move right along with your day. Nobody wants to hear you whine about it in a five paragraph text wall. (That only proves the point). Maybe instead of that you can throw back a lighthearted insult of your own, or ignore it.
 

4.     Learn from your mistakes. Nobody’s going to be perfect. You’re going to relapse and say an unfunny joke or make a cringe “look at me!” post/message/humble brag at some point. Look at it, look at the response to it, and don’t do that again. We’re pretty good about sweeping bad moments under the rug if someone shows signs of improvement.

        Of course, everyone who actually needs this article will ignore it, but hope does not die easily.

        Go forth and be not weird. You’ve got this.

Oh, I should add that CYS isn’t the only place on the internet. If things are going terribly for you here, take a step back. There are so many other forums and sites and even real live people you can talk to instead; CYS will be here when you come back. It always is.