331 Oakmount Drive
, #4 for
played 25,188 times (finished 1,857)
"trek through the forest"
"A nice jog down the driveway"
"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.
Another day, another house to clean... but something is definitely wrong with this house.....
This was very good. I really enjoyed the horror and overall feeling of this story. The writing was quite descriptive and lively, and clearly plenty of effort was put into making this quite a thrilling experience.
I liked the unwitting horror premise, and there's so many ways to meet your demise in this game that winning was both a challenge and quite fulfilling in the end. I started this with already good expectations, but I'm happy to say that this story did a fantastic job in succeeding my previous expectations.
Needless to say, I rated this quite highly and I can see why this storygame is regarded well, as it's quite entertaining.
Bravo on crafting a very spooky but enjoyable horror storygame. ^_^
on 3/21/2017 6:36:54 AM with a score of 0
Wow... somehow, I ended up getting the exact same ending that I got the first time I played this game, a million years ago! I guess I was so caught up in the story I didn't even notice! The writing is PERFECT--not too long and redundant, but with enough detail to keep you hooked--the choices are good, and, overall, I'd say this is definitely the best horror game on the site!
on 12/2/2008 10:47:11 PM with a score of 0
This game is fantastic. It's in the classic "choose your own adventure" format, is exciting, well written, and has an original (scary!) story. Very impressive. Congrats.
on 6/12/2007 12:45:17 PM with a score of 0
This is an excellent example of how to do as short horror story. The mood setting is superb and the story is something that could actually happen, making it even scarier. I absolutely loved it.
I'll start with the things I like about it.
You crafted characters very well, establishing dynamics between them even with the shortness of the story. Their interactions are believable and make sense, and the way they act given a stressful situation makes sense as well and fits their character.
The plot is unique and something I haven't heard of before. Your setup of an innocent cleaning job (with some sinister undertones thrown in) gradually devolving into horrifying madness is beautiful. It's something done often, but you do it very well.
Now, the few things I didn't like.
There were a few spelling and grammar errors throughout, but they were hardly noticeable and didn't distract from the story or ruin the mood. You often used two exclamation marks or other excessive punctuation, but it wasn't to the point that it was obnoxious. I would cut down on that in the future, but it's not a huge deal.
There were a couple instances of inconsistency with knowledge of the characters. You have links to the same pages sometimes and sometimes they give conflicting information. There was one time where you'd already met Mrs. Alexander by going into the kitchen, then when you get back to the foyer to escape, she's there but Alex doesn't know who she is. It's not a big deal and doesn't take away from the story if you're not looking super closely, but I'd just like to note it.
When you meet Mr. Alexander in his office after searching it and finding the newspaper clippings in the book, he enters, and explains the situation calmly, it feels like there should be another choice than "Run!" The narration notes that he gives a sound explanation of the previous events, and I wanted to see what would happen if Alex stayed and listened to him. I'm sure you could easily integrate another death or a path to the bathroom with the body.
on 12/17/2019 8:53:08 PM with a score of 0
I didn’t like it
-- H on 4/13/2019 9:04:06 PM with a score of 0
Great story! I can picture the house in my mind!
-- Jaiden James Samples on 3/17/2019 8:39:08 PM with a score of 0
The storyline is good and interesting but too short !
-- Kuro on 3/7/2019 4:29:03 AM with a score of 0
A bit short.
on 2/25/2019 3:45:42 AM with a score of 0
The story is... okay. The characters seem to have had quite a bit of care put into them and depth. But, suffice to say that their dialogue is very cringe-worthy at points. It doesn't seem very real and the horror aspects of the story seem rushed and predictable. Speaking of rushed, the pacing is not the best. The story goes from 0-100 real quickly instead of transitioning slowly towards, for example, a chase scene. I had no idea what was going on because all of the sudden Mr. Alexander was evil. In stories like this you need to give time to develop a character, especially the antagonist. You never gave a reason to fear him.
Anyways this review is more of a rant so it isn't exactly organized, but I hope the author of this story had improved from the feedback given when this story first came to be.
on 12/14/2018 10:37:52 AM with a score of 0
Clap clap clap. Very good game but it only took me around 10 minutes to find the good ending. It succeeded in making me feel frightened even with the overdone brutal murderer plot.
-- Szy on 11/4/2018 8:39:10 AM with a score of 0
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