A Story of Love, Death, and Eggs

I am guessing by the description that this is the classic lolrandom story. These kinds of stories can be fun because they have no limits. The story can go anywhere at any time for any, or no reason. This can be entertaining, but if done poorly, can simply be boring and annoying. It can be difficult to write the lolrandom, but the CYOA setting is the place for it. And I do like eggs.

The story has an interesting setup, but could have a bit more. If I’m waking up in a dimly lit room, I’m going to look around the room in detail. Descriptions here could include more about the room. How big is it? Is it clean or dirty? Is the floor wooden or covered with carpet? Is there furniture in it? Are there any eggshells? Does the window have a curtain? Many more details just on that first page could really expand the story and get the reader more into the story itself.

I like that the puppy gave me another chance. That’s the kind of lolrandom that can really be fun and silly at the same time. If you really wanted to expand this story, you could use variables to track how many times the reader selected that option and really only give them one more chance – so if they made the same selections a second time, they would get a different result!

The pages overall are a little short and really could benefit from more details throughout. While I realize you were going for the short, random, silly story, that can still be done with detailed descriptions. I liked the story overall, it did a nice job of lolrandom. I’d love to see the author complete a more detailed story that still doesn’t have to be serious, but could be more complete. Thank you for sharing!

I have died trying to pet le dog and I love it.

sErIoUsLy WHERE IN THE EGG CINIMATIC UNIVERSE CAN
YOU MAKE A GATLIN GUN-FOR GRAPES!?
(And apparently you can legit snipe people with frozen bananas(which i will do).)
But anyway oh the granduer, the resplendent beauty of the narrative!
ALL HAIL THE SACRED EGGS

Haha, super funny (love the go-kart part)

lets_a_go

is good

Short and silly, I’m glad I checked out all the endings.

i like the little mario kart twist at the end

This is the most beatiful thing I ever read in my life.

It is litterally a story about someone trying to get eggs. I honestly wasn't expecting that.

How is it love?