Life as a Time Traveler

Adding onto everything Will11 said - this was clearly a game you put plenty of effort into, and while some of the elements did feel a little disjointed, if only because the main character's thoughts and responses didn't seem to fully mesh with the circumstances and situations he was faced with. While that may have been intentional, given the nature of his powers, I wanted to see more of his personality tying the disparate plot elements together instead of being told about who he was.

As for the language sounding a little stilted, I would advise using more contractions. Most people say 'don't' instead of 'do not', for instance, and it will go a long way towards making the writing sound less formal.

I did find the language used this story extremely odd and stilted... I can think of 2 reasons for this -
1) Sometimes when I do lots of paperwork and then try to write creatively the language comes out as a bit formal and official. This might be the case here.
2) English is not your first language and you learned rather formal English.

I did find the story a bit unstructured and oddly unrealistic. The main character was a bit... weird. The odd thing is you have plot events, characters, setting etc but it's a bit like you've put them through a blender and mixed them altogether, not enough to make the story truly random but enough to make it a bit different and more in a disconcerting than entertaining way.

That said you have obviously put a good amount of effort into the story, your writing is error free and spontaneous enough to be interesting in places but this story might require some editing. Also the School genre might not match the tone of this writing, something like Edutainment or Gothic Horror might be more appropriate :)

This was an okay game.

Dang this story as very good no clue Stephanie was the child

Great Job, I loved the whole story and getting to the true ending.

I love this story. At first I thought this story was going to be pointless. I mean my choices start of with pull fire alarm, scream through the halls and punch someone. I ended up choosing to punch someone after choosing the other two because I really don't like violence. However, after reading who I was punching, I was relieved that it wasn't some random person who I really had no business punching.

I loved this story so much. It had everything a person could hope for in a story. I loved it so much that when it got to the end, and I could choose to continue with Stephanie I chose that because I really didn't want it to end, and I hoped that I didn't cause him to hook up with Stephanie. I was very pleased that I continued.

Thank you so much for sharing, it was the most awesome story I have read so far on this site, and I hope to read more stories that you have written.

This is a fun story with lots of great ideas. Enjoyable read. My only comment is that it could use some proofreading. A few times names get confused and there are letters or words missing in sentences. Nothing you can’t figure out but makes it hard to read in places.

Fun but not

very nice its funny

I thought it was good. I did notice some grammatical errors but noting that can be changed easily. I also noticed one time you talked about Al but called him another name I don't know if that was nickname or what but it just confused me, but other than that it was a great story.