Nameless

Ninja does an amazing job at making things seem very believable for the context of the world, the setting, and the characters that exist in these worlds. Nothing ever feels cheaply given, and Ninja does some incredible work with building certain story events up, so that they have true genuine payoff for when the reader may reach them. That is of course dependent on the choices that one might make, and there are choices here, but these choices often are, and or are things that are interspersed between much exposition and 'story-building' for lack of a better term. All of which remain interesting to digest, as I feel these pages help supplement the story that is present.

What do I mean by that? Ninja's games become experiences that are quite cinematic. At least that's how I feel about his writing, in the most positive sense as I type these words. At the time of this writing, I haven’t yet experienced all of his games, but I have to see that from what I've played, there's a truly consistent level of quality to be had.

In this story-game, you start with nothing. You're a slave that is mistreated, physically abused, and left with nothing that could truly be considered clothes, or even a weapon to face a rather intimidating world. However it's through that adversity, that makes things quite interesting on how to proceed to change all of that. Fortunately there's interesting dynamics that are occurring for the reader to experience on their journey.

The character of Morgan in particular, she is certainly one of the highlights of this story. She can be brutal, swift, and certainly not one that anyone would want to be on the wrong side of. But i have to day, it's those things that made her an interesting character, while so much eventful things occurred throughout the story. I just felt like she deserved a highlight, and that is me praising Ninja on his ability of making a rather memorable character, on-top of the story-game already being so impressive.

Something that becomes so interesting is that, while the character you play starts off as a slave, I feel that it's made rather immediately clear that there's much more at play. There's many things under the surface in this story, and that again makes for a world that feels like it can be a real thing. I feel that is an element that can set certain stories on another level of enjoyment, than others, at least in regards to what I personally look for in a memorable story-game.

I could continue to go, but I have to recommend this story-game to be enjoyed and appreciated by anyone who may find their eyes on this comment. This is an enjoyable story that is told here, and Ninja does perhaps his finest work. Well, as I've said before, as of the the time of this comment, I haven’t read all of this stories, but this certainly makes me want to change that fact sooner, rather than later.

Great work. As I was reading this, I previously thought this was perhaps a 7/8, but I have to change my mind. The writing, the world-building, the characters, and the quality, I feel that it deserves full marks for being good at delivering on all of those fronts. So I honestly feel that this is an 8/8 work upon further evaluation of my own experience of this.

Kudos, ninjapitka.

I have to start by saying that I am a huge fan of Ninja's writing. I associate Ninja's writing, above all else, with a cinematic approach. He has a sense of narrative camera angle, the viewpoint swooping in for a low shot, smash cuts, or a slow-motion spray of blood, or a momentary freeze in the action to take in bystanders' reaction shots. This is notable (and obvious) in the action scenes, of which there are plenty, but even more interesting in the slower, quieter moments of emotion.
This game uses explict dramatic devices--flashback most notably--to set up the stakes. These aren't forks in the game, but exposition that uses choices to break up the exposition--skippable in theory, but why you would skip the best parts when you are ostensibly here to read a good story is beyond me.
As far as interesting choices, the design clearly offers meaningful choices that give you a modicum of personality and the ability to choose which gritty adventure you are going to have. More importantly for my sense of character was getting to choose my focus--I tried to see if I could play a more reserved character, and while obviously this is not a story about collecting butterflies, I could express a less gungho character. No path that I've found has light and colorful swashbuckling, or course. This is low fantasy, and I love it. I want to play this as a Skyrim quest.
There were a few moments that faked me out as far as whether I was making a real choice, or simply choosing what order to experience the narrative. I really wanted, for example, Morgan to respond differently (Not calling me a "big dumb ol' brute" if I chose to meditate/study first. A bit of flavor text difference at the bottom of that page would be welcome. I was also a bit confused on the "The Ritual" page where a drink is being held out to me, and I have the choice to "Reach out" or "Drink"--reach out, however, offers a vision, which suggests interestingly that "Reach out" means to reach out vision-wise--which is very cool, but possibly might have been phrased differently? Especially since that choice then routes right back into drinking--so that "Reach out" turns out to be one of those neat exposition moments. After this moment, I know what "reach out" means for later choices, of course.
What was the best part? Clearly the E R EZE. I am a sucker for the classic fantasy inn, and it is obvious that Ninja is too. Did I say already that I want this as a Skyrim quest? Make it a full DLC, with Morgan as a side character with a full suite of personal quests. I liked Morgan before--"liked" might be the right one, but respected, let's say--but after the "Morgan II" page I was totally sold. Morgan might be my favorite Ninja character. And the "Nature of Betrayal" is the best ending, and I will exact Morgan-style revenge on anyone who denies it.
You know what you are getting yourself in for here. Solid adventure, exciting battles, knife twists, and often-brutal questing. This is the best offering yet from Ninja.

First of all, thanks for writing this game. This review is separated into notes to the player and notes for the author.

Notes to the player:
The story is good, and it entertained me. I thought it was told decently well. The game doesn't branch often. What exactly occurs when clicking a link is sometimes unclear; it could be additional exposition, or it could progress the story.

The writing uses a lot of commas and there is the occasional cliched phrase now and then. The author made sure to groom away spelling and grammar mistakes, so there aren't many left. You should be able to read without being too distracted by slip-ups in the writing.

Notes for the author:
You have some nice imagery and unique similes. I can appreciate the way you switch between characters, describing the fates of 2 specific, potentially unrelated characters while controlling only one. This is the first story I've read that does that. Game-wise, I would consider making the next story branch a little more frequently to provide more of that CYOA experience. It's often unclear what will occur if I click a hyperlink. Will I be getting more exposition, moving the story along, or both? When the options are listed like single-word topics, The ambiguity is causing me to lose some sense of control when I go to click an option.

The writing could use a little work. Sometimes, imagery is applied in places where it serves to take the focus away from the main elements of the story. For example, a lot of detail was provided for the Sea Breeze inn about its accommodations, which were fully removed from the story. There are a few places where wrong-word substitution occurs, e.g. "formally" instead of "formerly", and "lightless" when "weightless" would be expected. Phrasing can sometimes be awkward (e.g. "as of" when "as if" should be used). Word repetition occurs with pretty high frequency -- not as a stylistic choice, it seems. Try to watch for the use of the same word and find synonyms to use instead. You can alternatively try a pronoun. Comma splices occur with some decent regularity. I would suggest going over Gower's writing advice articles. As an aside, the exact phrase "burst of motion" is used enough times that I noticed it.

The characters and plot were immersive and well done. The only criticism I have is that there could've been some more branching.

This story is the first I’ve read as a member of this site. It is extremely well written and manages to be engaging throughout. The world building is certainly thorough and well done. The only off putting thing for me is that most of the characters are pretty stoic and a few scenes seem like they could use a few more emotional reactions.

Really though, even that probably works for the type of characters in the story. After all, who doesn’t like hardcore characters?

The detail and storyline is spot on! Everything in this story was explained, and overall a very good plot.