Orion

Orion was not bad for a first story, but it would have been greatly improved with a little more effort put into explaining things and making sure everything made sense. There can still be mystery and things the reader does not know without being so seemingly random and nonsensical.

There were a lot of choices, and while some were pretty much pointless and there was some re-branching, there was a pretty good amount of actual branching and choices that made an impact on the story.

The main character is a real unlikable idiot sometimes. There are some parts of Orion that make me think this story may have been written as a cautionary tale about weed making you stupid. For example, he expresses a great deal of surprise when the war against Orion starts. “ArEn’T wE aLLiEs?!” Allies don’t take the entire world for years with no real sign of that changing.
Other characters were really holding the idiot ball at times too. When chaos has just taken over the city, and you are trying to avoid that, why would anyone go out to screw some whore in the truck? And why would she be offering rather than trying to survive like everyone else?
It would have been nice if there had been more character development at the beginning too. Some of the early choices were totally pointless except for relationships with characters that were going to die anyway. If I am to care about what I do for some chick, there’d better be either an actual effect on the story, or I should actually care ABOUT the chick.
While we’re on that, the main guy is a real prick. He considers the roommate a heartless dick for saying they should go after the chick dies and city erupts into chaos, yet in the path where roommate dies first, he’s just, “tough luck—oh sweet, your girlfriend’s not taken anymore.”

I was pretty annoyed by the constant mention of characters being blond (it is BLOND without the ‘e’ for men) and other physical descriptions. They did turn out to be semi-relevent, but it would have been nice had they been worked more naturally into the story. The very first paragraph of the story was literally saying what the main guy and his sister-in-law looked like and what their jobs were. It was an opening truly worthy of Quotev.
That all ties into Orion holding the idiot ball too. The little dead girlfriend’s smexy brown eyes and hair are mentioned as a reason she was captured as a “non-Aryan.” While she wasn’t a poster child for the Aryan ideal like our main guy, if Orion’s plan is to continue the Holocaust, they aren’t going to go after people for hair color. Then you’d have to keep an eye on every blond kid to make sure their hair didn’t go brown or vice-versa, and that is just ridiculous.

Also, why is “the entire globe” going into space? Especially since it was shown that there is an antidote for the zombie disease that is obviously available enough that the random stoner who shows up to board the overcrowded ship is given it rather than just being shot or something.
Somebody had to organize and pay for the space thing in advance.

The dialogue often made me cringe, as did the phonetically written accents. If a character is speaking with a modern-day, real-life accent, then just say he is and adjust the grammar accordingly rather than making me suffer through your poor visualization of it.

A little more thought into things and some more likeable characters would have made this a pretty good story, but as it was, I would not recommend it.

Nice. It had an amazing amount of options, good plot, and was really good overall. What I think could have made this game better though was if there had been items. Like a shotgun or lantern or something you see in zombie survival games. Also, the cursing just kind of ruined it for me. You don't need that in a game to make it good or to sound cool because it just makes the game kind of cheap.

6/8

fantasic

Bad

So... how does it end?

Damn, I died! lol

NO! I wanted to finish it but instead, I was left on a cliff hanger this sucks but the game itself is ok

I got the ending with 'to be continued'. Is it still being published?

He needed some apocalyptic companionship

***Spoiler***

I'm an honorary gang member? Funny. I liked it. Way too short. :(