Player Comments on Queer Tales for Autistic Folk

I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw this title in the New Storygames section, I was anticipating a very, *very* CYStian-esque satire story. I was intrigued (and a little horrified, not for myself as the reader, but rather for the author themself) when I realized that was not the case. Let’s give this one a shot anyway because these typin’ fingers are rated E for Everyone.

This is a CYS rendition of a CYOA-style play that the author wrote and is actually running. So it’s kind of like writing fan fiction and the source is…your own work? You know what, Cerys Bradley of www.cerysbradley.com? That’s cool as hell, and I wish you good luck on it. As a disclaimer, I’m going into this story having not watched the play and judging it not just from a CYStian perspective, but from my own as a “neuroqueer” or whatever the hell you would call me.

“Undiagnosed neuroqueer in a straight laced neocapitalist cubicle” are words that no one in the Bible could’ve even foreshadowed, including God Himself.

So all jabs aside, the bits in this work are actually pretty funny. They act as a series of relatable experiences tied together in a surreal environment. I can imagine they would be significantly more fun to watch alongside a live audience that plays along with them rather than a chopped-up CYS version. Honestly, I don’t have any gripes with the content at all given the context. I just don’t think that a text-based CYOA game is the best medium for this and that maybe it should stay on the stage for its greatest potential. It’s one of those things where I’m exhaling slightly heavier at the jokes while reading them, but if I happened to watch this show live, I would probably be very amused. The obvious benefit of posting it here is publicity, which you seem to be getting.

Either of the options for “do you have everything you need?” lead to the same page. I’m not sure if this is a mistake or if it’s an intentional but lazy (in my opinion) gag.

For the “Blag your way on” page regarding you trying to board the bus, there’s an explanation that in the live rendition, an audience member would be the bus driver. In the story, you’re prompted to either imagine this audience interaction scenario or to let the fates decide in some way (dice rolling, magpie counting, etc.). I will say that CYS Script may have been nice for this instance. It can basically do a die roll within the story and make that decision for the player randomly. I realize that was likely beyond the scope of writing this though. But if you do plan to rework this into a more CYS-style game or even come back to write something fresh for the site, you may want to take a look into some of the random event articles if that’s something you’re interested in.

There are a few spelling issues (“damn” where “dam” is meant to be, etc.), but these were sparse. This is a well-written story from a SPAG standpoint.

I think the idea of a CYOA-style show is very promising and would certainly be a fun time for the crowd as long as you know your audience (and “neuroqueer” is a pretty specific one so you’ll be fine in that front). As for this concept as an entry in the CYS catalog? Eh…it could use some work. Like I’ve said before, this just isn’t the medium for this kind of story, but as an author I think you have a ton of potential. I’m forced to rate it lower for that alone, but it’s short enough that it’s practically inoffensive even if the reader doesn’t care about the show.

Keep it up, and best of luck for your show!

Oh boy. This site is not the best audience for this. You haven't really done much here other than publish this storygame, but if you took one look at the forums you would see that the majority of users are only going to read this so that they can talk about how bad it is. I would recommend putting it in sneak peak and just sharing it with people who have seen the show or publishing it elsewhere. That being said, here were my thoughts on the actual game itself:

It starts with the protagonist waking up, a cliche, but I can't judge the plot because it's based on another existing work. What I can judge is the less than engaging writing. It begins with the author simply stating that your alarm clock is going off, you are confused and disoriented, and that you need to make a choice. I understand that this is probably because your goal was to summarize the plot of the play so that readers could explore different paths that they didn't take, but it could do with a little but more showing instead of telling. I will admit, you did a better job of this later in the story, but some of the pages are still a little bit bland.

On the page "Increase resistance" I think you meant to say "halt" instead of "holt", unless you meant that you shuddered to an otter den, in which case I have more questions that need answering.

Overall, it wasn't a bad story, I just think it's not suited for this site. If you want it to work here, then you'll have to make some changes. Instead of just copying what the play does and then giving up in some sections and explaining how it doesn't work, you can play around with the advanced editor and make something that's similar. Or, you can just change it a little bit. This isn't the intended audience and isn't going to achieve the intended purpose, so you should either change it or take it somewhere else as it is.

I saw this show live three times but was too shy to give it a go. I am so glad I can relive it and take part now at home! bingly bingly beep!!

Overall, this game didn't seem very well thought out or written.

The humour attempted isn't given any room to build, since the page following any somewhat funny option available to the reader is a few mundane lines. There's nothing inherently funny about somebody using the toilet.

Cope, seethe, and most of all dilate, you LGBBBQ weirdos.

I'd give more stars if I was able. Favourite choose your story game I've done, very fun and creative and would also work hilariously for a live audience. Give it a whirl!

Somehow, maybe, possibly, I feel as though CYS is the wrong audience for this play. I do enjoy this sort of thing regardless. Ironically, I had a dream that I was in a CYOA style play the other day. The writing style is rather engaging, honestly, and if the author would write other things, I’d like to read it. I like the looping aspect and would genuinely think this would be a fun play to see, fourth wall breaks are my favorite.
In the end, I just had to go back to sleep. Best ending right there to me. 6/8.

The reason I didn't rate this lower is because it doesn't overstay it's welcome, and is actually kinda entertaining, but this definitely NEEDS some editing. I'm pretty sure I found an infinite loop, and near the end it changed so fast it had me wondering what the hell happened

Got the eternal snooze ending and honestly that's good enough for me. Rated a Big Fat 1

Interesting and thoroughly charming. Theatre has really changed since the last time I checked in on it in... When was the last play I saw written? EIGHTEEN NINETY-FIVE!? Well at any rate, I was initially confused with the concept of how a play could have been translated to a storygame. I was not aware that choose-your-own-adventure plays had been invented at some point between now and then, that in itself is quite interesting. What's not only interesting but quite amusing, it seems like even this play starts with the time-honored trope of the protagonist waking up in the morning, something which happens unusually often in purely written storygames.

I appreciate the dreamlike nature of this thing, which becomes all the more surreal when all I have is words to imagine it with. I would be interested to see what this show is like, if I ever venture to cross that rancid heap of brine between where I am and your island.

Not really my thing, but I commend you for running a successful play. I think sometimes, on stage dramas don't translate as well to CYOA style stories. I think you could have set the scene a bit more and made it a bit more immersive. Unlike the stage going audience, all we really have are your words, so they need to be at their best!

In any case, good effort, and the stage production sounds cool.

Oh boy, are we ever not the audience for this. Good luck lol. Although, moving this to fanfic for now since it's....well a little difficult to quantify but "based on an existing thing" fits better than fantasy at a glance. Maybe it should go in Modern.

I've only looked at the first few pages so far, though if it in fact makes zero sense as its own thing you might find it getting low ratings. If it's mainly been written for people who have watched the thing, it might be better off unpublished with Sneak Peek on so you can share the link around to the intended audience without opening it up to criticism and ratings from people just browsing the site for regular stories. (It should've been in Sneak Peek by default when created unless you went in and disabled that, but in any case if you can see the title and description in your profile it means anyone with the URL can access it.)

This is an interesting story. I can relate to most of it, and I've just chosen the options I would normally choose most likely during my morning routine. I've found a bug though, in that on the "Take out the bins..." page, the "go to work" choice leads to the "waste 10 minutes" page. Otherwise, great and neatly told, but of course, due to the nature of the 2nd part of the show being improvised, it feels somewhat unfinished. Some of the options, like wasting 10 minutes on deciding trivial things, give you an insight of the problems some autists have. I'm a diagnosed Aspergers case as well, so I've felt drawn to this story.