White Room

It had its ups and downs i'd say.

The writing was really good and the plot was well executed. I could easily picture the situations because you provided a decent amount of detail. So well done with that.

Sadly, there are some flaws here to weigh the good writing down a bit. I thought the storygame was rather random, and the choices didn't seem to make much sense to me. But I suppose it might be hard trying to imagine choices in the situations the character was in for this story.

There is a small amount of character development, but I would have liked to get to know them more. Developed, well fleshed out characters are a very important part of storywriting.

I also found the storygame rather short, despite the decent amount of writing on most of the pages.

This also feels rather incomplete, and I don't have a sense of closure after I read it. I really want to know what happens next.

4/8, good job but fix the flaws please.

Clapman is a real one for that lol :)

It was good and quick.

It was interesting at least. It reminds me a lot of those old choose your own adventure books, particularly the UFO one.

it s fun but confusing

This was a really cool experience!

This was a really cool experience!

I had fun with this. Creative and it kept my attention. I'd love to see more.

........

I was confused but good job