Player Comments on FireBorn

It's like almost every other dragon storygame on this site. -_- Add some unique elements.

There are still some noticeable grammar issues, but not too bad.

Descriptions, please. Literally, I think it took two pages for the parents to die. Explain more of what exactly happen, describe feelings at key moments, sounds made, etc, etc.

Just the simplicity of the story and typical-ness of the plot make this story boring. Every dragon story that begins with an egg or hatchling involve them breaking the egg/moving away from nest. Make it unique!

I think that this storygame could be pretty good, despite when you say you have bad English. I suppose some effort was put into the storygame, so I applaud you.

The story was good except for some parts.
The grammar was bad and made it a bit hard to follow.

I almost threw my laptop when I saw that the first two options kill you, then I noticed the little frowny face seemed out of place, hat tip to you my fellow smartass.

This was an awesome story, if your confuse about the double deaths in the beginning actually click on the link rather then just complain the story is broken. I really enjoyed the story and it was a lot of fun to play.

HUMANS ARE THE BEST!!!! >:(

Velly good! Congrats, this was great. Me like velly much-- maybe you could make another to do with the amphibious dragons, or just legends that the main character heard when growingup.

Not bad, I liked the fake-out at the beginning. :)

It was okay...

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This is a really good story. Only problem is he doesn't get air powers anywhere. How will he create worlds with life if he can't manipulate the air he creates to make good conditions for their growth?

Ok, nevermind, please ignore my last comment. I thought this was only 3 pages long because first I got the one sentence death page, then I checked the other page really quick to see what was there, and I mistaking key thought that is was just another lazy ending. 4/8

Very very fun

Not a bad story, though (SPOILER ALERT, I guess...) the style of "you did a thing, have a power" made it feel kinda like Mega Man with dragons and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It has a great plotline, grammar is wonderful, but for the other ending (which I got, but I there was no end thing, so I had to chose the same options except instead do the 'Fire (whatever) it hasn't failed you yet!' and so THERE is the 'end' part. But for the other ending.... you get sucked in a vortex and then you go 'What?....' but you get no 'End Game and Leave Comments'. Other then that, it's a wonderful storygame!

Thumbs up! great description, the only thing that got me was the fact that you occasionally mispelled something or missed a word, but hey, i think its just me, like a pet hate.

This story was quite appealing; the only thing with it was the puncuation and grammar. Otherwise, this was great!

Didn't even read the story and got universal dragon

Beautiful,But I wish it could be longer

Pretty Dang cool Story! I got the Universal Dragon Ending. YAY!!!

I'm glad the story starts off driven by something other than sheer draconic malice, but the whole thing went a bit too fast and linearly for me. Also, the beginning's dual "deaths" are a tad damn confusing.

You don't die when they breathe fire on you.

Is there like a small chance that it will give you the good beginning?

Wait, nevermind.
YES! UNIVERSAL DRAGON!!!!!!!
ME ARE THE CHAMPION!

It's either death or death. Which do I choose? Hmm… I choose a rating of 3.

great. I like the skyrim reference

That... That wasn't bad. But maybe I'm saying this, because I love dragons too much? For a story with 6/8 length, it was SHORT. For 7/8 of maturity, it wasn't gruesome at all. Maybe I just got really unlucky, and I missed the really fun and exciting part by trying to be nice? But the worst thing was that the story went really, REALLY fast. I just wished for it to slow down a bit, like, let me fly around the lands just for fun and exploration, but no. Getting kingdom, few years later, sea serpent, few years later, and so on. Too fast, too short, not enough choices. It's a good beginning.

for those who do not know the second page is not always death

pretty good game it reminded me of choice of the dragon, only this game is better

... Looks like you've confused the hell out of at least two of your readers. Next time, if dying isn't the end of the story, you make want to make that part a bit clearer.

Let's see… death, or death. What a decision! Looks like I don't have a choice here.

worst story, it literately goes: first page with two options > death or death. magically horrid.

Not a bad start but it seems very short and the prose often stunted. With some polishing and increased lenth it could be greatly improved.

Are you sure you are not the Endmaster in disguise? That was one of the best storygames that I have ever had the pleasure of playing! Please, please right more storygames like this, please?!

Liked it ALOT. Too bad it wasn't longer... :(

why was there only two epilogues?

<3

some of your story was copyed from a story called choice of the dragon

Very nice, I obviously can't give it that high a score without knowing how the remaining branches play out but you've got a good start.

No way in HELL am I going to revise this.

You're telling me the release date is coming up soon, and you dump 89 fucking pages on me?

The I don't work like that.

Humans don't work like that.

Honestly, you could've wasted less time by reading a thesaurus for once, and try using the stuff you were taught in your English Classes. Then, you wouldn't have to come to me to help.

Not too bad, apart from the grammar mistakes and it being incomplete

We need guidelines for publishing games...

Don't publish stories that aren't finished.

its going to be very good when this is finished. Ill be sure to increase my rating when you complete it. A piece of advice however don't have a end game link on the first page it encourages trolls who will give a bad rating.

I love the idea! Dragons are awesome. This game would benefit from some pictures, in my opinion. Please keep adding to this. :)

Not bad, but please don't publish demos, just ask a member(s) to look at your story. These things clog up around here...