Player Comments on Fleeing the Forest
This isn't exactly the type of story I would normally read or gravitate to. And yes, I know Watership Down is a children's classic and beloved by countless people. But for me, this story is like WC but with rabbits and I find it hard to focus through the entire narrative.
That being said, I think this story is pretty well done. The characters are developed and seem to have their own voice, and the narrative works for what it is. Choices provide sufficient branching, and the dialogue is done nicely and there are minimal spelling and grammar issues (at least that I noticed).
So bonus points for having a slutty rabbit and some carnage in the story, but minus points for reminding me that WC was ever a thing.
Overall, well written contest entry. Good job.
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DBNB
on 11/4/2024 3:25:32 PM with a score of 0
I know this is my second review, but I explored another path. I really thought the idea of the rabbits rescuing a human kit was adorable. Seriously, great job, this story is truly great! Well done, you planned and wrote it really well.
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RKrallonor
on 11/4/2024 12:40:02 PM with a score of 0
Watership down was a treasured childhood classic for me and probably millions of people throughout the world. Richard Adams managed to humanize and create such amazing characters for Fiver and the rest of the gang in such a way that it hasn't really been done as well since. To take values such as trust, loyalty, friendship and love and teach young kids through anthromorphic rabbits was remarkable. The best part was Richard Adams didn't make it gimmicky. So when I saw your story was inspired by Watership Down, I was worried because telling a complex story through animal characters and having them be real and fleshed out is tough, and the story should do all that while still feeling fresh.
And you did it. It felt like I was 7 again and reading Watership down but with a new cast of characters and some of the themes slightly adultified. I also love how you told the story of the Titans through the rabbits' eyes, describing humans as these Titans could have been overdone and it could have failed, but you absolutely hit it out of the park. I genuinely felt like the excavators were these yellow beasts with bloodied maws from the corpses of rabbits, and the monsters felt almost Lovecraftian the way they were so large and incomprehensible to the rabbits.
I liked how you made sure to stay true to the character arcs of all the characters when you first described them, Hops is indecisive, keeps to himself doesn't really take a side, Daisy is kind and warm, Fang is aggressive but does have a sense of loyalty somewhat towards his friends(until he gets a taste of power, which I thought was really well done), and Flick was questioning and a bit more argumentative, he doesn't take disrespect from anyone.
It was a delightful cast of characters and I really hope you make another one. I also like how you provided links for the readers to learn more about the rabbits/setting. The world building was nicely done. Overall, well done. This story stays true to the spirit of Watership Down and I really enjoyed it.
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RKrallonor
on 11/4/2024 12:37:06 PM with a score of 0
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