Forgotten Rose

It seems we skipped some important details here xD This game was written well, but there wasn't much depth to the actual story to say the least. I would've liked to see the relationship actually progress before seeing words like marriage and such :l

This story was decent for what it was, I suppose. Things just ended rather abrubtly, and more details about the love interest would've been much appreciated. The writing wasn't bad by any means, it just feels like quite a bit more could have been added to make this feel like more of a complete story.

Hmm... Where should I begin with this?

I don't normally play this storygames, but the name "Forgotten Rose" intrigued me enough, so I decided to head over and see what this is.

First of all, you can immediately tell the future of the storygame with your writing. With choices like "Do you go for coffee, or leave" or "Do you wait for them, or leave" You know exactly which one leads to true love, and which one doesn't. Also, the story was very short and therfore abrupt. One minute I'm having friendly coffee with someone, and then the next, I'm engaged, married, and living a good/better life.

The writing was okay-ish, with no grammar mistakes as far as I could see. However still, (and this is a common problem) there isn't much descriptivity. And I mean at all. The writing is bland enough, you don't describe anything. The reader doesn't know what the character is thinking, how the girl looks like, whether she has blue eyes or not, what the character thinks about traffic, what the assaliant looks like, whether the assaliant is a one-eyed lizard with pork chops for teeth...etc. I feel as though you could've added onto your writing and and made it more vivid, as to paint an image in the reader's mind. Try using descriptive tongue next time.

This last point is kind of short, but still important, and its the use of cliche things in this story. For example, let's look at your title, "Forgotten Rose". As far as I know, this story never mentions a character named "Rose"... or any characters at all. How is Rose forgetful? What does that even mean? It has no correlation to this story whatsoever, really. It just seems like a cliche, steamy romance-y Valentine's title.

So, with a short story, a title that is cliche and makes no sense, bland writing, I give this a 4/8. Keep trying, and please use descriptive writing.

Well the idea behind the game was good, but I think that if you're making a game about a character falling in love then the first part of the game should be about meeting them (unless they know them already), then the rest of the game should be about getting to know them and deciding if you like them or not. In this game all the character did was meet the man and then it skips right to the end where you fall in love and get married, which is kind of the important bit :p

Not really of my taste. I had just come to this genre for fun, and I had just taken out a random short one to play. I'm not saying it's bad or anything, just that it will only be enjoyed by people who are into the romantic genre.

As the others have said, it's way too short. You give hardly any time for the reader to know his or her partner, and the story is very predictable. I like your writing style, though you make a spelling error every now and then. I noticed a couple of run-on sentences as well.

I think with a little more effort and time, you could produce an excellent story. I reccommend seeing Gower or the Help and Info page for some tips on sentence structure.

Bleh

It could have much more. It was very short, with a few very noticeable grammar mistakes. Other than that, this was quite good.

I'm sorry, but I didn't like it. It was to short and it has the same ending.where your married or just be alone. It never told me the names of the people and their are not many choices. I really don't like it that much. Sorry to be mean just saying so when you make another story you know to make it better

Kind of cute but way way to short and simple.

very fast, a little too fast.