Player Comments on Queer Tales for Autistic Folk

Oh boy. This site is not the best audience for this. You haven't really done much here other than publish this storygame, but if you took one look at the forums you would see that the majority of users are only going to read this so that they can talk about how bad it is. I would recommend putting it in sneak peak and just sharing it with people who have seen the show or publishing it elsewhere. That being said, here were my thoughts on the actual game itself:

It starts with the protagonist waking up, a cliche, but I can't judge the plot because it's based on another existing work. What I can judge is the less than engaging writing. It begins with the author simply stating that your alarm clock is going off, you are confused and disoriented, and that you need to make a choice. I understand that this is probably because your goal was to summarize the plot of the play so that readers could explore different paths that they didn't take, but it could do with a little but more showing instead of telling. I will admit, you did a better job of this later in the story, but some of the pages are still a little bit bland.

On the page "Increase resistance" I think you meant to say "halt" instead of "holt", unless you meant that you shuddered to an otter den, in which case I have more questions that need answering.

Overall, it wasn't a bad story, I just think it's not suited for this site. If you want it to work here, then you'll have to make some changes. Instead of just copying what the play does and then giving up in some sections and explaining how it doesn't work, you can play around with the advanced editor and make something that's similar. Or, you can just change it a little bit. This isn't the intended audience and isn't going to achieve the intended purpose, so you should either change it or take it somewhere else as it is.

Somehow, maybe, possibly, I feel as though CYS is the wrong audience for this play. I do enjoy this sort of thing regardless. Ironically, I had a dream that I was in a CYOA style play the other day. The writing style is rather engaging, honestly, and if the author would write other things, I’d like to read it. I like the looping aspect and would genuinely think this would be a fun play to see, fourth wall breaks are my favorite.
In the end, I just had to go back to sleep. Best ending right there to me. 6/8.

The reason I didn't rate this lower is because it doesn't overstay it's welcome, and is actually kinda entertaining, but this definitely NEEDS some editing. I'm pretty sure I found an infinite loop, and near the end it changed so fast it had me wondering what the hell happened

Got the eternal snooze ending and honestly that's good enough for me. Rated a Big Fat 1

Interesting and thoroughly charming. Theatre has really changed since the last time I checked in on it in... When was the last play I saw written? EIGHTEEN NINETY-FIVE!? Well at any rate, I was initially confused with the concept of how a play could have been translated to a storygame. I was not aware that choose-your-own-adventure plays had been invented at some point between now and then, that in itself is quite interesting. What's not only interesting but quite amusing, it seems like even this play starts with the time-honored trope of the protagonist waking up in the morning, something which happens unusually often in purely written storygames.

I appreciate the dreamlike nature of this thing, which becomes all the more surreal when all I have is words to imagine it with. I would be interested to see what this show is like, if I ever venture to cross that rancid heap of brine between where I am and your island.

Not really my thing, but I commend you for running a successful play. I think sometimes, on stage dramas don't translate as well to CYOA style stories. I think you could have set the scene a bit more and made it a bit more immersive. Unlike the stage going audience, all we really have are your words, so they need to be at their best!

In any case, good effort, and the stage production sounds cool.

Oh boy, are we ever not the audience for this. Good luck lol. Although, moving this to fanfic for now since it's....well a little difficult to quantify but "based on an existing thing" fits better than fantasy at a glance. Maybe it should go in Modern.

I've only looked at the first few pages so far, though if it in fact makes zero sense as its own thing you might find it getting low ratings. If it's mainly been written for people who have watched the thing, it might be better off unpublished with Sneak Peek on so you can share the link around to the intended audience without opening it up to criticism and ratings from people just browsing the site for regular stories. (It should've been in Sneak Peek by default when created unless you went in and disabled that, but in any case if you can see the title and description in your profile it means anyone with the URL can access it.)

This is an interesting story. I can relate to most of it, and I've just chosen the options I would normally choose most likely during my morning routine. I've found a bug though, in that on the "Take out the bins..." page, the "go to work" choice leads to the "waste 10 minutes" page. Otherwise, great and neatly told, but of course, due to the nature of the 2nd part of the show being improvised, it feels somewhat unfinished. Some of the options, like wasting 10 minutes on deciding trivial things, give you an insight of the problems some autists have. I'm a diagnosed Aspergers case as well, so I've felt drawn to this story.