Player Comments on Tales From The Basement 2

General Recommendation: Recommended, for those with thick skin and a CYStian sense of humor. But please, do read the warnings--they are not exaggerating.
Preview: Another three tails of basement dwellers, this time focusing on an incel, an alt-leftist, and someone with a unique taste in films. It's not a direct sequel, so no need to read the first game.

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
Overall, Takes from the Basement 2 manages to be both funny and intelligent.
This is a story that I think epitomizes the principle of insulting everyone equally. No demographic group escapes a negative portrayal. One might fairly criticize the story on this basis, but I don’t think any one group is worse off than any other.
The story is split in three so I’ll address each path individually:
Incel Insanity
I enjoyed this more than I expected. This story is a strong example of Endmaster’s ability to blend the line between comedy and a touching story.
I walked in assuming the protagonist to this story would be irredeemable. That the draw here was going to be eight or nine different paths of the protagonist trying to get laid and failing hilariously, as he devlolved further and futher into a parody of himself (and yes, there is plenty of that). I expected a story that would be funny, but wouldn’t necessarily have a strong narrative, and certainly nothing the player would have the ability to do anything about. So I reminded myself not to become invested in the protagonist, and clicked start.
And then I started getting invested. The protagonist is a mess with a long way to go, but he’s clearly has some redeemable traits. He cares about Casey as a person, and smarted up enough to avoid the white gumdrops and incel website. I didn’t really care whether or not he and Casey ended up having sex, but I was starting to see the possibility of real personal growth—the potential for the narrator to break out of the cycle of self-loathing and belittling others. Against my will, Endmaster somehow got me to care.
When Casey requested anal, I assumed she was trans due to the genre, and again, I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome. The story took an awkward real-life situation, and handled it in a sensitive and realistic way. The best solution was to calm down, talk it out, and handle the situation in a rational, adult, emotionlly mature way. And this situation leads to genuine personal growth for the narrator. He has a girlfriend now, but more importantly, he’s gained self-confidence, learned to accept other people’s idiosyncracies, and left behind the reliance on the gumdrops and internet echo chambers. He’s no longer an incel. It’s over.
The other paths don’t follow the same arc, but are still more than just comedy. There is an intelligent political satire of the incel-fascism pipeline, the “nice guy” complex, and a number of other similar things.
I know it’s just a metaphor for different perspectives used to get the story moving, but the gumdrops thing is fascinating from a worldbuilding perspective. There are these gumdrops that you can take which alter your perspective on life? And everyone knows about them? Wild.
Whining Wokie
As expected, there is plenty of “woke idiot gets their ass kicked,” but again, there are also several elements of intelligent political satire. This story calls attetion to:
= The ways in which preformative leftism ignores and over-complicates real problems like homelessness;
= How people with white guilt make helping others about them;
= The way people who use open-mindedness as merely an aesthetic can actually be extremely bigoted themselves and feel justified;
= The weird way people need to play oppression bingo before they’re allowed to have opinions or contribute to improving things;
= The way over-fixating on social justice issues makes you see normal interactions through a distorted lens;
= How some forms of extreme feminism are just as limiting to women as sexism;
= The difference between waving around social justice language on the internet for clout and actually, y’know, doing something.
Is this story perfectly 100% accurate with respect to medical accuracy, or sensitive potrayal of minorities? No, not even close. But it doesn’t pretend to be either. The reader has certainly received adequate warning.
Film Fanatic
Eh. This storyline just doesn’t do it for me. It’s basically just porn with an external storyline slapped on top of it. I don’t think I have much to say about it. I’m sure there’s nuances of the genre that someone could go into detail about. But it’s not really my thing.
*
After reading it all, Incel Insantiy was definitely my favorite. It had the most complex characters, and the most optimistic view of the world. It also spent its time developing one character, while the other two were fractured to cover more ground.
In sum: This game is another strong example of Endmaster’s ability to get me to enjoy games covering subjects and genres I otherwise wouldn’t interact with. It’s also a strong demonstration of his ability to blend comedy and social commentary. Kudos.

Specific notes:
Incel Insanity
-I’m torn on the beginning. Starting with a monologue about one’s life usually isn’t a good idea, but I think it saves time here, and fits with the comedic tone.
-It’s often tough to give a character a distinct thought pattern when using “you”, but the narrator’s voice is already distinct by the end of the first page here. A lot of this is done with the phrasing and language itself, which is cool.
-Lol, “Friend. Nobody has ever called you that before!”
-I like how THE TRUTH is always capitalized.
-I can tell all these internet ‘alphas’ are going to be coming back later on.
-Lol, “This somehow causes even more laughter. She might be drunker than you thought.”
-Lol, “You go to the world’s most reliable source of information: Random people on the internet.”
-Lol, “I am merely an enlightened racial realist.” Oh boy. The protagonist not being white is a funny turnaround there.
-Knowing the genre Casey probably IS trans, but I still think they’re jumping to conclusions awfully fast. There’s tons of reasons someone might prefer anal. EDIT: Yeah, perfectly reasonable explanation.
-I’m a big fan of symmetry in endings, so I like the repeated refrain of “It’s over.” I imagine in most endings this will refer to the protagonist’s life.
-The racist path is so much funnier now that I know the protagonist is part asian. EDIT: Yeah, predictable.
-Oh wow, a lot more death endings than I assumed on the first read.
-Lol, “I’m sure he wasn’t the only one.”
-I’m curious why the settling down with Peggy path is presented more negatively than the settling down with Casey one, since it’s basically the same story. Casey’s path was longer and more complicated, so it might just be the narrative structure of it.
-I sort of like that the red gumdrops are potrayed as kind of helpful in moderation so long as you don’t take too many.
-Lol, “Nice guys finish first.”
-Lol, “I am no noob. I’ve been lurking here for years and dedicated my life to taking down this wretched website.” Who is THIS based on? EDIT: Oh, Ryder.
-In soviet russia, pussy eats you!
-Lol, “I don’t sexually identify as anything that casts a shadow.”
-“Perhaps even more so…” Um…
-Lol, “Crack open a cold one.”
-Having sex with the robot went pretty much the way I expected.
-I like that the black gumdrop people have the same “it’s over” refrain.
-Lol, “Really just needed to work on your personality bro.”
Whining Wokie
-Lol “marginalized groups such as minorities.”
-Lol, “I got into this whole thing as a way to get back at the whilte man and while you’re not much of a man you sort of qualify.”
-It’s amusing that the narrator is trying to give Tyrone relationship advice while Tyrone is just roasting him.
-Lol, “Thank you. You’re one of the good ones.”
-It’s both entertainingly weird and sadly accurate the way the characters bounce between preformative wokism and actual bigotry.
-It’s hilarious that the narrator has just had the shit beat out of him by his spouse’s partners, and the first thing he does is be like hey! >:( You can’t call my buddy Tyrone the n word.
-Okay these dudes are definitely up to something. Also, the narrator just assumed they were homeless because they were speaking spanish, so major L for wokism there.
-Lol, “REEEEEEEEEEEE!”
-Ah yes, the classic sequence: Unload truck -> Interact with insensitive fellow volunteer -> ATTACK!! -> Accidentally make racist comment and get the shit beat out of you -> Get kidnapped and tortured to death by drug cartel. All in a day’s work!
-Lol, “That seems very narrow minded. Clothes are for anyone to wear regardless of gender or size!”
-Tyrone sees a shotgun and just nopes out of there.
-Lol, “Fucking hell, seriously?”
-I like the way for the paths the different events seem to be the same, though the changes to the narrator can lead to different outcomes.
-Knowing that Maria actually stole a bunch of coccaine makes this path funnier.
-Lol, the narrator commits murder and immediately decides she must be a man.
-…KELLY?! The same one from the video game?!
-Man this narrator is way more unhinged than the last one. “You” was more just a doormat, but this one has chosen murder five or six times already.
-Lol, “The Dickening.”
-“LatterGaySaint” is actually a pretty funny name.
-Lol, “And I’ll keep bringing it up until you accept me for who I am!” “I told you dear, we do.”
-Lol, “Your whole body literally starts shaking!”
Film Fanatic
-This clever plan sounds like a great way to lose my girlfriend.
-Wow. Okay. Not sure this qualifies as 7/8 maturity.
-Lol, Enduring Project.
-Like the Love SICK reference.
-Lol, “Whatever. I think I know the plot by now.”
-The audience interrupting constantly is funny.
-Never thought I’d see a story where teleportation relied on oral sex, but here we are.

Grammar:
Good.
Mastery of Language:
Pretty good! Better than many of Endmaster’s previous games. The sentences flow together much more neatly.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I started this review back in May, and couldn’t finish until now, so it might seem a little disjointed.
Incel Insanity: I got the ending where you stick with Casey and end up in a relationship.
Whining Wokie: I got the ending where YOU give Tyrone life advice and he goes off to contribute to cultural marxism.
Film Fanatic: World’s least intelligent car crash.

CONCLUSION: Not all of it was my genre, but I rate games on how well they accomplish their objective, not subjective taste. 8/8.

Another amazing entry from Endmaster. If you've read his previous works (especially tales 1) you know what you can expect.

If this is somehow the first Endmaster story you've read (or are about to read) note that I'll be splitting this review into two parts. The first part of this review will be a bit shorter and will be detailing general stuff about the story, so you can get an overview of whether you will like it, or not, and it will be mostly spoiler free. I recommend reading it if you're unsure of whether you will like the story.

The second part of the review will be a lot longer and will just be me going over the specific paths of the story and fanboying over them, so if you don't want every single bit of this game spoiled, skip that one.

Now let's begin.

============Part 1============

As the description already told you, the story is "probably really offensive or something". That means if you're overly sensitive (read: a faggot), you should probably just skip this one entirely, though I can't imagine why you would be on this website in the first place if that is the case.

The main "draw" of this story is, of course, the dark humor and the fucked up shit that happens to our protagonists. Every single line did it for me, and I literally laughed out loud at multiple points. Yes, LITERALLY. I suppose you could just not be a fan of such "crude and offensive" humor, but you'll figure that out pretty soon anyway, as all the paths are similar when it comes to the jokes.

The branching is excellent, every single choice leads to a different path (possibly with the exception of one), but a lot of the choices do lead to death (or, in the case of film fanatic, being blue balled). Most importantly, in this game selecting your pronouns actually matters, and you know we're all about diversity here!

The characters are interesting and stay consistent throughout the paths, as do all of the other variables (such as your car always being left unlocked in the film fanatic path). There are references to events you only learn about in other versions of the story (like the bathroom protests). I find this extremely important for proper storytelling, as my brain autistically focuses on finding plotholes/consistency errors.

In true Endmaster fashion, there are no endless paragraphs of description, detailing every character's clothing down to every single button. The game focuses on the plot and dialogue and I fucking love it. The descriptions provided are just enough to set the scene, and your mind is allowed to fill in the blanks (or in my case... not do that and just focus on the action). Here's an excellent example from the film fanatic path:

-The ceiling is cracked, the walls are peeling with holes in them and the floor is stained with unidentifiable substances. The lobby is currently empty save for a lone worker at the ticket desk reading some sort of magazine.

That's all you need to know to progress the plot, it doesn't fucking matter what the worker looks like, as he's just a throwaway NPC.

A little detail I loved were the references to real-life events/people/websites, except changing their names just slightly. Examples would be: Buccaneer Point(pirate bay), just fans(only fans), Aussie Plantation (kiwi farms), the grid (matrix), Alek Dee Rodger (Elliot Rodgers), Fukher (Tinder), Ryde (uber), etc...

I suppose some may find it a negative that this game doesn't really have too much of a "deep message" behind it, instead focusing on being one giant shitpost making fun of internet culture in this day and age. I certainly didn't, and you're a faggot if you complain about that after you're warned about it multiple times.

The game breaks the fourth wall at times, but considering it doesn't take itself seriously at all you can't say it "breaks immersion". I quite liked the occasional quips from the author actually. An example is how the narrator remarks how a specific ending is extremely fucked up, even for this story.

An actual negative I would complain about is one you can probably expect if you read other Endmaster stories: Typos and punctuation errors. The story has plenty of both, and at times they were bad enough to detract from the story a tad. There was also one particular spelling error in the incel path that made me lol cause it completely changed the meaning of the sentence. Either way, I rated the story an 8/8 obviously, because tanking down the score for that would be heresy, but just pointing this out so it can be improved upon. I'm sure there are endless minions that would be pleased to proofread the story.

An additional negative, specific to the film fanatic path, is the wild POV switching that isn't really indicated in any way. It really threw me for a loop the first time because the game keeps going on about how "you" do something, but then it turns out the "you" is now the person within the movie. And then it switches again, making me wonder how there are rednecks in the wasteland suddenly when it's actually within the theater. This could be fixed with an indication that the POV is switching, or by talking about the actions on screen in the third person, like it was done in "Sally's Sexy Saga".

Also, a whole bunch of endings has you dying in horrific and disgusting ways, but some feel like they're written purely for the sake of having a bad ending, rather than coming from an actually bad choice. There are like... five or six deaths where you die by cracking your head on a table.

Overall, you should know by now what to expect from the game, and whether you will like it or not. Let's move on to part 2 (HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD).

============Part 2============

Let's go with the specifics now. I decided to check out Film Fanatic (exploitation theater) first, as I never read the original.

===FILM FANATIC===

=Groin Zero=

Immediately the story makes me laugh with lines such as: "You quickly run into the theater and nearly trip over a passed-out bum lying near the doorway. Ah just like the old days." and "You just take advantage of the mutated gifts bestowed upon you thanks to your mom being gang raped by mutants. Faster reflexes enhanced strength and of course a gigantic mutant cock."

This path specifically has the "POV switching" issues I mentioned above, but I liked it despite that. Groin zero is laden with mutant rape descriptions and they're quite graphic and fucked up. It immediately lets you know what you're reading, and to turn back if you deem it "problematic".

The humor is also not there only for cheap laughs but is also informative. After you chicken out of a fight, you and your girlfriend go home and the story ends with the line "And unfortunately for you, your girlfriend isn’t bi-curious and isn’t into pussy." I don't think I need to explain the meaning of this line.

=Pornomancer=

The next movie on the list was Pornomancer, and good god the scene where you fuck the corpse manages to outdo the rapes from Groin Zero. I thought that'd be the worst of it, but then you later find out the "protagonist" fucked his dead mother, as well. You find that out in the dialogue between your father and your sister fucking. Jesus Christ. If you read Necromancer (which you should) you can appreciate the way the characters in the movie are different, yet similar. You think the crude humor will stop making you laugh at some point, but it just keeps going, such as when the protagonist dies but makes sure to let Katrina know that his cock never will.

The laughs aren't relegated to only the movie part of this path. After you piss yourself because you wanted to keep watching the movie, some pervert asks you to do it on his face. And that he'll pay you fifty dollars for it.

I lol'd at the self-roast at the ending of Pornomancer:

-"Oh that should be nice. Still, I really think I've seen a movie extremely similar to it though. Maybe it was a short story I read or something."
-"Short story? Hell, I like the movie and all, but along with the bad acting there was some pretty bad writing in it at times. I certainly hope nobody actually tried to write a story like that! No, something like that works better in movie format where you can better appreciate all of its visual cheesy glory." You laugh.

=Erectal=

Russian eternal was unexpected, and I liked the implication that the movie was made just to launder money. I did dislike how annoying the "fans" during this path were, but I suppose that may have been the point, as that's why the protagonist leaves the theater. I liked how the girlfriend was actually interested in the movie, and looking shit up about it on the phone.

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if the training the "matriarch" makes you go through was something mistress actually wanted to do.

The fat tranny farting on your face and then you projectile vomiting was hilarious and gross, but even better is the part where you punch the shit out of that thing and it goes out to call the cops. Storming the projector room is hilarious, but so is avoiding the cops that will arrest all the innocent bystanders because of you.

What I liked most of all were the endings that emphasize the word "endure", similar to how the actual eternal emphasizes the word... eternal. That's a really nice reference.

=Sally's sexy saga=

I love how the protagonist has so much hots for sally that he even calls his girlfriend her name as they're fucking. The girlfriend notices in the other paths, too, and starts bitching about it. Luckily, our protagonist is smart enough to turn that shit around, and it ends in the most hilarious (and hot) daddy-daughter roleplay ending. Well, that's certainly a good one.

I wouldn't give the story proper credit if I didn't quote this hilarious line: "Yes my dear human. As part of the royal line, I have the ability to transport by getting oral sex." Also, can't forget about the "pussy centipede". Now, it's been a while since I read Suzy's strange saga, but I'm pretty sure there are no dick-suck-teleporting aliens there. Still hilarious either way.

There's also the good old "she looks six but she's actually an adult" line. Well, the girl in question actually IS six, but that doesn't count cause she's an alien that matures early.

===Whining wokie===

The second path I checked out was the whining wokie one. I always read that one as "whining wookie". Lol.

Anyway, I decided to go in order this time, and so decided my pronouns would be...

=You=

I opted to confront my partner first, cause I foolishly hoped it was going to be... something other than what it was. Yes, I am apparently fucking a tranny, but so is Tyrone. Lol, of course it's Tyrone. I don't think the character is realistic though. After all, no tranny-fucking-nigger would go along with the pronoun bullshit. Pretty sure they wouldn't be fucking a tranny in the first place.

But then it turns out Tyrone is also being cucked, this time by two Argentinians, who are apparently not that good at English, as they throw me out the fucking window instead of "shutting me up". Wonder if there are Argentinians on who can confirm whether such a misunderstanding could happen. Anyway, lol.

I then chose to speak with Tyrone, and encourage him to stop being a cuck. How come I can't do the same thing for me? Anyway, in a reversal of roles, he calls ME "one of the good ones" and leaves forever. Then there's this line which is just poetry.

-It’s a circle jerk of epic proportions. In fact if it was a literal one, it might match the same amount of cum your life partner takes internally on a daily basis.

Next, I chose the homeless gathering path and decided to help unload the truck, foolishly hoping I would somehow turn out to be just a tiny bit more of a man than I am. Nope, I get called a faggot and a retard, deservedly so, and then get sent to funkytown by two mexican dudes that were looking for the whore that stole a shitload of their coke.

This ending really is one that teaches you two important lessons: First, don't be a faggot that takes it easy while everyone else is breaking their back unloading the truck, and second... stay away from mexicans.

I also happen to know that the author was watching some fucked up gore videos around the time of writing this, so I like seeing where he got the inspiration from.

The mexicans aren't THAT bad though... they mercy-kill me in the other path after Maria, the coke-stealing-whore wounds me fatally.

Finally, we can choose to go to the genderless bathrooms protest consisting of the faggots versus The Super Straight Legion. Now, because I'm a cis white male, I get turned on by my rainbow faggot companions, and one of them wants to piss in my mouth, to prove my dedication to the cause. I like how the author asked me "Fucking hell, seriously?" after you accept the request. Anyway, after you start getting pissed on/in, you obviously start projectile vomiting and create a chain reaction of vomit everywhere. The SS immediately disengage after they see the rainbow side engaging in mass sexual fetish degeneracy, while the authorities decide to purge us with a great flood, like God purged the sodomites. And then I manage to fucking get thrown by the blast, hit my head on one of the potholes and fucking drown myself in the pooled-up water.

Gotta say, that one felt like an unnecessary death just for the sake of having a bad ending, but it fits with the story.

If you try to be a LITTLE bit more of a man, and refuse the request for the mouth pissing, you get called a rapist and sprayed with mace, which causes a panic with the rainbow crowd thinking the police started spraying you. Then it turns into a full blown riot, and the SS could barely wait for an excuse to start bashing the trannies. The police then DO start spraying you with gas, and after all is said and done, the SS (somehow being more moral than faggots) drag your unconscious body to the hospital.

I really like how the resulting brain damage then turns you "normal" (because of... you know... the implication). You go through a life-crisis over what a fucked up degenerate you were, and decide you're going to be the alpha male. You warn Tyrone not to go into your house today (a reference to the "some of you guys are alright, don't go to school tomorrow" meme) as you got yourself a shotgun and will now fix your life.

The resulting scene is quite graphic, as you blow one of the mexicans spit-roasting your partner in a whole different way than he was getting earlier. That's a direct quote from the story btw, and yet another reason why this game is a masterpiece. Oh, and your "life partner" biting off the other guy's dick in fear.

A year later, turns out you were saved from being convicted, as your "life partner" got the hots for you after you finally became a little bit more of a man, and lied on your account. Truly, Endmaster ensured that the story is realistic and believable, as women will always go for strong men, no matter how psychopathic they are. The story ends with:

-Make no mistake despite finally finding your balls, you’re still a degenerate sodomite that’s ass fucking his tranny life partner, but now you’re no longer being a faggot cuck about it.
-It’s an improvement.

Well, at least that's a happy ending... kind of. Certainly the best one so far, so I'll take it. Next up is...

=Mentally ill=

A lesbian feminist huh? Told you this story was just one giant shitpost.

I like how you kinda get a happy ending when you go to the protest. After betraying the brutal meathead tranny and running over several men with a car, the degenerate LGBT side takes a big L from your actions, and you finally force some poor girl into being your girlfriend and finally have sex... until they put trannies in the prison.

The homeless gathering path has you hitting on, and eventually forcibly kissing Maria, essentially becoming what you hated - a rapist. She then blows your brains out mid-fall off a cliff.

All is well and good, but if you take some different decisions you get one of my favorite parts of the game - An accurate representation of Albanian people.

Maria, who you loved so much, rewards your kindness by having four Albanian men rape you repeatedly before you are shipped off to somewhere in the Balkans to be in a sex slave ring. Truly, a realistic ending, proving that no good deed goes unpunished.

If you decide to confont your roommates... well... shit goes sideways real fast with you committing a double murder and then suicide as you realize you were a tranny all along. Well, that was a real fast game-over. Deciding NOT to be a crazy psychopath reveals a shocking truth - you are actually jerking it off to your roommates' skimpy video game stream. Absolute hypocrite.

Overall, the mentally ill lesbian is probably the shortest path, and at times almost goes overboard with how crazy and nonsensical it is, but I liked it nonetheless. Onwards to...

=Faggot=

Well, there's no better description for this path other than... that you're a faggot. In multiple ways. Both figuratively AND literally, because you are both into chicks with dicks, and also because you suck a lot of cock along the way.

If you decide to confront your parents, your dad finally gets sick enough of your shit that he tells you to fuck off out of the house or he'll literally murder you. Gotta say, I didn't expect it to actually happen, but then it totally does. Daaamn.

So then I opted to leave the house, instead. Now, since you're a faggot with no marketable skills, you end up homeless in a park, but luckily a hobo named Norman takes pity on you and decides to teach you how to survive... in exchange for you sucking his dick. And suck his dick you do, for like 6 months, and probably suck a lot more dicks along the way, until you finally go to your final boss... the public bathrooms. And as luck would have it, your first dick-sucking customer in the public bathrooms turns out to be... YOUR DAD! Yeah, he's a big lying hypocrite and blows his load into your mouth, which you then blackmail him with. However, he has a bit of a backbone and forces you into a deal of sorts. I'll just quote the story directly here:

-Even if you soon learn this arrangement also means you now have to suck your dad’s cock at least once a day. You also have to dress the part to create the “illusion” of being a girl since there’s no “hole in a wall” or anonymity for that matter.
-In the scheme of things, you suppose your dickgirl porn addiction makes complete sense now and everything lead up to this moment of becoming one yourself. This is who you are.
-And yet, perhaps your real identity isn't necessarily the dickgirl you became, but all the dicks you sucked along the way.
-In any case, this is the closest you’ve been to your dad in years.
-Fucking hell, this is one fucking fucked up ending. Lol.

That last line is a direct quote from the story, as well. Even the author acknowledges how fucked up this shit is, and we're not done yet, people!

Instead of bitching to your parents, you can also moan about gender shit. This results in even your ilk calling you out on just how much of a fucking faggot you are, and they essentially force you into actually doing something for once. You can choose to protest at the "Hen House" (pretty sure this is chick-fil-a reference) and their hatred of rainbows. Because you're as much a retard as you are a faggot, the manager calms you down by offering you a discount and you immediately go in to fill your mouth with some chicken. There's also a reference to the bathroom protests you can visit in the 2 other paths, and I really love that consistency among the paths. Also, this isn't related to the story, but if you actually read this review all the way to here, do send me a message or something saying so. I wonder if anyone will actually read this fucking thing all the way. Anyway, after eating the homophobic chicken, you get a violent urge to shit yourself, but can't enter the bathroom as there are no genderless ones yet and the employees can't tell what you are. The resulting scene is quite gross and I thank the lucky stars I'm not able to conjure up the image of you violently shitting yourself as the employees gag and vomit everywhere. But hey, it's a victory for you! Or at least, that's what you say to yourself and your friends at Ynir.

Rather than the Hen House, you can decide to educate the nearby children at the library. It's a fucking hilarious scene I don't want to go over too much, but the kids react to your boring gender nonsense as kids do and start making fun of you. I honestly thought it was going to end with you beating the shit out of the kids (as you are unhinged enough to do so), but instead the kids run away and you... well I thought it would be a parent beating the shit out of you instead, but the actual ending works too.

Finally, you can decide to "check out new games" and it's nice to see the reference to our very own gay and depressed story (changed to gay and undead). I'm not keeping up with the IF community drama, but I recognize some author is being made fun of in this part of the story, and I'm for it.

Now there's a throw-away line that talks about a werewolf romance story called "Trans-Formation". The notes I wrote for this review were: "Trans-Formation is actually legit a good name for that sort of game. Too bad the actual game would probably be degenerate." That note, however, was made before Darius made his fucking "It's a boy" story. While there may not be much transness in there, there's definitely werewolves, and gays, and incest, and I can confirm the game is just as degenerate as expected. But hey, Endmaster predicted the future, proving his powers yet again!

Either way, "FutaFanatic" aka "Muskrat" aka WizzyCat presents you with two options. You can join the attack on the evil SYS (the very site you're reading this on), or you can decline. If you're THAT much of a pussy that you dare not even participate in some online violence, he sends you a link to DickGirl Dungeon 2, a game that has been taken down for including pedo shit in it. Unfortunately for you, the actual thing he sent you is a "SYStem shock" virus that results in your computer blasting the words “HEY EVERYONE I AM A PEDOPHILE!” at maximum volume along with flashing colors on the screen. It also fucks up your computer completely, and you go into an autistic fit of rage over it, as your whole world has just been destroyed. You start smashing everything and your dad calls the police on you. When the officers arive, you're still quite insane and so they think of you as a threat. Then I'll quote the story:

-Now, fortunately you aren’t black so they don’t shoot you with bullets, they use tasers instead. Unfortunately, this isn’t much better.
-Combined with your poor physical condition and getting hit by two of them directly to the chest, the electric jolt is too much for your heart, which explodes before your body slumps to the floor.
-System shock indeed.

You can also decide to "participate in the attack", and so you check out SYS, noting that the stories that seem to get rated the highest are the ones with the biggest rape count and shove in as much incest as possible. Well that's uh... Not totally incorrect. We do love our rape and incest.

Either way, the "attack" results in Wizzy revealing more of your degeneracy, as he has some screenshots of your activity... Specifically, about the time you practiced shoving a carrot up your ass in the kitchen and then you heard your mom coming so you immediately took it out and left it on the table only for your mom to cut it up for the beef stew for dinner. You dad then got sick from it.

The entire site mocks you heavily and, being the faggot you are, you can't take it and commit an hero. You are quickly forgotten, as you should be, leaving absolutely no legacy on this earth except, ironically, on SYS. They recall you with glee a few years later, when they remember the site's better moments (as well as mocking Wizzy for being into dickgirls).

And with the second of the three branches done we are finally moving onto...

===Incel Insanity===

Aaand we're at the part of the story most of our userbase are most likely to relate to, seeing as most of the faggots and the trannies are over at CoG anyway. It starts off with a generic description of an "incel", as much as I hate the term. Either way, you find out about the real-life version of The Matrix (or The Grid, as called ingame) redpill (gumdrops) and decide to order a pack. There's also a jab at the tranny directors thrown in for good measure. Of course, being as unlucky as you are, you get a mix of the red, blue, black, white, and possibly other pills instead of just the red ones. And that brings us to the two "main" paths of this game.

=Blue gumdrop path=

Well, you can choose to run away from the truth and take the blue pill. So what would a blue-pilled faggot totally not interested in improving himself do? Well, you can play video games. I think this will be quite relatable to many of the readers. And, being as pathetic and virgin as you are, the entire focus of your gaming career is about... fucking a 2d character. Well it's something. Anyway, apparently her romance quest is bugged and you need a mod to unlock it so you can choose to get the mod. Anyway, the mod turns out to be some creepypasta-esque nonsense (which was honestly pretty disturbing, nice job End) and you finally stop being a faggot and eat some red gumdrops, which results in you experiencing the purple effect. Will you ride it out, or take the black gumdrop, to totally crush your view of the world? Riding out the effects just results in you trying to get a hooker and creeping her the fuck out to the point she runs out of the house, but you try stopping her and end up dead. Pretty standard stuff eh? But, if you take the black gumdrop...

The black gumdrop is actually referring to... the black pill. If you don't know what that is, well, good for you. To simplify it extremely, it means you believe everything is fucking pointless, and we're all doomed. There is no hope for you. So, of course, you decide to follow in the footsteps of Alek Dee Rodger (Elliot Rodgers) and shoot up a sorority, to rid the world of some Brads and Tracies (Chads and Stacies, aka a popular term for hot guy and girls).

Surpisingly for the story, it actually starts off rather well for you. You successfully score a few kills, and all is well, until you run into two chicks, a Stacy and a Becca (not as popular as a stacy, but still a degenerate woman). Becca, being smart, offers to suck your dick, and here's where I thought the story would go the classic way of "she bites your dick off cause you were a retard that believed her".

Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that our protagonist is smart enough to think about that, and blows his load (of lead) into her head, before blowing his load (of unborn children) into Stacy. The resulting scene is pretty fucked up, but you do eventually completely snap and commit an hero by a cop, since you don't want your child to grow up with his father in prison.

Interestingly, "an hero" is not a typo, but rather yet another reference to an online meme. If you don't know it yet, google it, it's fucking hilarious.

You can also NOT fuck Tracy, but you just die a virgin instead, so that route isn't as interesting. Neither is the one where you didn't even try coping, but just roped instead. Hey, at least the protagonist of this story was more successful with it than my protagonist was...

If we go back in time some, and make different choices, you can also download a VR version of the game you were playing, but it takes some time for it to download, so you end up getting that creepypasta mod anyway. I truly believe playing the routes in this order enhanced my experience, since I knew I was going to see that fucked up shit again, except this time... it's VR.

Predictably, our protagonist is fucking horrified and sickened by the creepypasta mod, and tries to stop the game, but it's all glitched out, and the resulting disconnect between what you see and what is real results in a lot of vomit everywhere, which you then predictably slip on and crack your head on a nearby table. I mean, you could definitely see the ending coming, but to say I didn't like it would be lying.

If we go even further back in time, and decide to actually WRITE instead of just playing games (as some of the people here should probably be doing more of) we get to choose between Pick Equality Games (PEG, aka COG) and Select Your Story (this website). The SYS route has some nice cameos (including my own, as the WarCriminal <3) laughing at your retarded ass, and you eventually get banned. The prospective readers of this story should look at this exchange as an example of what NOT to do. After creating another account you are contacted by KittyJockey who wants your help in destroying SYS.

Anyway, for those not in the know, KittyJockey is a reference to a real member of this site that constantly tried to take it down, and was also known for... raping cats. So, of course, he tells you how to get some pussy, and you can indulge in this sexual degeneracy, by trying to fuck a cat. I'll leave a hilarious quote here, as it describes this path perfectly:
-You run around your home naked looking for your cat so you can shove your dick in it, but the cat doesn’t want to be found and would REALLY not want to be found if it knew what you had in store for it.

Fucking hilarious, where else on this heavily censored internet of today could you find such poetry? Well, the path ends as you might expect, with you failing to fuck the cat and dying by table yet again. But hey, the story ends with this hilarious quote:
-Queen stays up on the ledge for a while longer looking at your dead body until she starts to get hungry, then she leaps down to feast on you. You might not have eaten pussy, but it sure is eating you.

If you don't wish to fuck cats, the story has options for you, as well. You join KittyJockey in taking down CYS by... posting child porn. Yep. The story warned you it has no limits. Thankfully our awesome mods delete all that degeneracy and ban your ass, and PsychoPuffin (BerkaZerka) SWATs your pedophile ass. Being retarded, you do not obey the officers, and this being America, they shoot you. A fitting end.

Choosing PEG results in an accurate description of the website, as all they're interested in is who their protagonist is fucking. Then we're brought to the only choice in this game I've seen repeated (and quite oddly so).

You are once again presented with the option to eat the black gumdrop, and if you choose that, you can again cope or rope. All of this is the same as in the "play video games" route, and it's a slight stain on the story, meaning it's not entirely a "cave of time" style one.

If you'd rather ride out the effects of the blue pill (since you didn't take the red pill in this version) you decide to go about fucking a robot (or, "stick your dick in a toaster" as the game puts it). I thought this route might go a bit better, but nope, the sexbot you decided to fuck (Vicky) malfunctions and well... I'm not going to go over what happens but lmao, how do you even come up with this shit?

I thought for a second we'd actually get some proper advice in this path, as that's where it seemed like it'll be going, but nope, the "advice" just turns out to be about fucking corpses instead. This is also a hilarious ending with a guy beating you to death over taking "his" bitch (a corpse, I repeat).

Now time to read the very final path...

=Red gumdrop path=

Now here's a path that actually has a "good" ending or two. I know, I was shocked as well. At least it's realistic in a way. I'm sure the author isn't recommending you actually take the redpill, but even he acknowledges that doing that will probably work out better for you than just being a nice guy. Take notes fellas.

Either way, the most obvious way is to just jump straight into it, fuck a fatty, and then decide it ain't enough. You charge into a lot of pussy like a Serbian war criminal (actual quote from the game, thank you Endmaster for acknowledging Serbian supremacy <3 ) and then get... Herpes. Yep, I expected aids as well. Either way, you do a whole lot of disgusting shit and then end up having to work two jobs to pay for all of your medical bills, with no time to have fun. Hey, it's better than anything in the bluepill path.

If you decide to stick with the fatty, you realize how much she has her shit together. Meanwhile, you’re part Asian and you aren’t even a science or math major, so what the fuck are you doing with your life? (another quote from the story, Peng (or any other asian children reading this) take notes!!!) Well, either way, the point of this ending is basically that once you finally have sex you realize you should probably work on other areas in your life, and that's valuable advice for any readers, as well. And hey, we actually get a straight-up happy ending for once, where you grow old and miserable, just as most of us are going to... but at least you don't die a virgin!

Now, if you don't want to just jump straight into it you can "practice" by watching pick up videos. Instead of landing a fatty, this time you manage to land an art hoe. I bet this path was inspired by Malk. Well, this path also has a hilarious typo around the time the art hoe drunkenly stumbles and you try catching her:

-Your hands catch her around the waste, but maybe, just maybe your hands roamed a bit trying to stand her back up.

I'm assuming that the protagonist did not actually catch a bunch of her shit and then roam around in it. Anyway, the art hoe won't let you smash but she DOES suck your dick. And that's when you brag to all your red gumdrop friends online, but get some comments from a very based and redpilled person named "Iron Purge" that was honestly written in a very realistic way. Hell, this entire path has characters speaking exactly as some would IRL, using redpill jargon. I am quite impressed.

Iron purge wishes to get you into white supremacy, and you can choose to go to one of the "purity of the white race" locations. The thing is... I hope you guys remember our character is apparently Asian? Knowing that made the following scene all the more hilarious, as I could see the foreshadowing of what was about to happen to poor old incel here, otherwise, I'd just have been confused. Well, just go ahead and read it for yourself, but it's hilarious and includes a blazing saddles reference.

If you (for whatever reason) decide not to engage in white supremacy, you instead decide to go about fucking Casey again, and, well... the resulting path is quite a rollercoaster of emotion. Even though I've essentially spoiled the entire game by this point, this is the one path I will not, as it is, in my opinion, the most hilarious one. Since I read the "wholesome fat peggy" ending first I managed to ignore all the warning signs and then... let's just say that sucking THIRTY SEVEN COCKS IN A ROW will be the least of your worries. Anyway, this is (I guess) the "best" path, and I will quote from it to finish this review:

-“Oh I’m so glad to hear you be so accepting even though I know it’s not entirely fair to you.” Casey remarks.
-You smile.
-“Nah, life’s been more than fair I’d say for once.”
-It’s over.

First off, to me this feels like a successor/spiritual successor, and then even a self-parody or a homage of sorts to many of the other stories that came before it. All of these things, I feel, are of course done at a high-level in typical EndMaster fashion.

Because this story is (surprise, surprise) good. It has the perfect amount of comedy and each of its pages, and an incredible amount of black humor for the modern 2020's age. You have your stories where you are taking "blue pills" or "red pills" and even "black pills" as a character that just wants to form a relationship of some kind with someone willing to reciprocate said want and feeling.

So, in a way, this becomes a successor to "A Very Special Choose Your Story" because there are lessons to be learned here. EndMaster being a quite renowned Wordsmith of quite a few decades at this point is the perfect teacher, I feel. If you happen to have the capacity of thinking that perhaps letting someone urinate in your mouth is a request that is worthy of even a second of deliberation, you can really use the words of wisdom that is packed in this dense story-game.

It can possibly save your life.

Moving on to another aspect that I found to be interesting, is this fact: this story-game is basically a 2-in-1. Possibly even more if you want to count the movies that are in the Film Fanatic path as their own stories being inspired from the greatest that were already written by the author. However it's a two-for-one in value in that the Film Fanatic path comes from a story-game that was written by EndMaster on another site that he never brought over here, but now, you can say that he did. Because it is definitely updated and becomes its own huge thing.

There are many huge things in that path... it's my favorite route out of many in this story-game.

Really, one really owes it to themselves to read this work of art. EndMaster is once again consistently at his best as he creates stories that are entertaining, engages the player in agency of their choices, and is full of dark humor.

This is something that is dense in both content and a near bottomless well of quality. Just when I thought I found a favorite scene, I found myself as a character being viciously mocked on a writing forum, or being killed once again in various creative ways.

Because yes, in typical EndMaster fashion, there are many ways to die, outright fail in pitiful and pathetic fashion, or even carve out a nice little ending for one's self. It's all in the eye of the beholder, or maybe the thin shred of mercy that's been instilled by the writer in the characters and machinations that exist in the setting?

Going off in a tangent now, but once again, this is a story that can be read/played for years and I don't see it getting old. A wealth of creativity and readability, playability, it goes on and on.

And no, I'm not giving verbal/literary fellatio because the author himself has told me I have inspired a few lines of dialogue. I would be a bit miffed if I was told that and I was in some horribly written travesty!

However with EndMaster, that is never a worry. He will always deliver something of high quality for those that read his works on this site.

Thanks for the remarkable story.

I loved every second of LoveSick(especially the sexy times😏) and I laughed at the Saw movies, but the Whining wokie storyline was the vilest, most uncomfortable piece of literature I've ever read, and that's saying something!
The other 2 were enjoyable! The whole catholic girl debacle and the Storming of the projector room ending come to mind

Marvelous! When I found out what was the ACTUAL deal with Casey, I just shouted 'Win for the desperate!'. (But if it turned out she really were a trap, I'd have sued; then killed her😊

Fucking hilarious. People can say what they may about discrimination but it just re-enforces the joke. Congrats on writing the best worst stories ever!

somebody watches too much porn

LGBTQ = bad
I hate lgbtq people

MARIO WHAT THE FU-

Damn. I was trying to go down the dark path and got a rare incel success story instead. Not bad.

haha

God bless CYS. That there is a place a story this funny can be published in 2022 gives me hope for humanity.

If you're offended, you're probably white.

I like my nigger privileges, 8/8.

Brilliant of course!

This story absolutely deserves the 8/8 rating. I usually sugarcoat things, but I would not give an 8 that isn't truly an 8 in my opinion. I think this is the first of your games that I actually got around to finishing, and looking at this newest work I should play the others!

Brilliant, simply brilliant. A masterpiece worth preserving and a justful successor to TFB1.