Player Comments on The Title Has Been Abducted by Aliens

good...for you to poop on

It was really good. But don’t send anything to that email because it is a random email.

I have no idea how this has almost a four. A three would be reasonable, but I guess some people just really like this. I do not sympathize with them.

First, the writing is not great. The punctuation is terrible, the grammar is often off, and there are several spelling errors.

The actual plot of it is somewhat unique, but not well developed. I'll give you credit for actually having a story with build and a resolution, so that's something at least. There's hardly any atmosphere building, so it's difficult for the reader to put themselves in the eyes of the protagonist. I think that with more atmosphere, this could be a decent story even with its shortness.

Finally, there's really no meaningful interaction with other characters. This makes it so that the only way for the protagonist to develop (which they hardly do) is through their own actions and situations. I wasn't able to find any meaningful dialogue, though I didn't look very hard because I have no desire to read this.

Sure, it may be immature and sure, it may be unoriginal, but I rather enjoyed my time with this action game of action.
Actually kind of reminds me of myself when I was but a lad and was new to story Games.
Excellent for sitting in the waiting room

Pretty funny. Clearly made by a kid, probably a middle schooler so it's obviously no Citizen Kane, however, if good dumb fun is what you desire then The Title Has Been Abducted by Aliens delivers.

pretty fun. could have been longer. the only thing is maybe you could have an option to not die of insanity at the end? :D

The title is rather amusing, but it's boring and cliche. So very cliche!

Your title is certainly rather amusing, so points for that.

There's quite a few grammatical errors. While this isn't a huge deal, it does make the story seem rather amateurish. The story is good, but very unpolished. There's nothing really special. There aren't any unique characters, the setting gets only bland description, and the action scenes are simply there.

i won't complain because its hard to make a story... grammar is ok... story was funny(also were the endings especially the ending after killing the alien. ha ha)and the story was perfectly short. did i mention it was sooo funny.

i had the chance to kill or spare an alien, i spared it and SOMEHOW won...? shouldn't the alien have grabbed the gun and shot me?

awesome but short

Too short

It's pretty good but needs to be longer. 6/8

Self destruct activate =P

I found three of the epilogues.

My favorite ending was the 'Your Insane!' one, but I'd personally like to be out into an asylum for a more dangerous reason nya.

Good story. Would probably get a higher rating if you just made it a little longer...=)

Not too shabby. Pity about the karmic backlash of going insane if you kill all the aliens, but the peaceful ending wasn't all that appealing to me either...

a good story, a bad alien story though.

Not bad, but could use more descriptions

Not good not bad .

4/8

it was okay even though i went insane =(

Need to change a lot in my opinion...!!

GOT ALL FOUR

Ok, I guess. Very short though.

Okay.

Really entertaining story, lots of realistic outcomes... and funny. I like funny. I just wish I didn't die in the end D=

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I like how you can crash into the city and survive ;)
but I think it should say how you survive not just you some how survive...

Great game for a first shot but it could be a bit more descriptive and could use more adjectives for example the word surgical tool was used repetitively, but otherwise good job!

For a first game this was actually very good. A league above my own first story for sure. My only suggestion that no one has already pointed out is that you use the same adjectives to describe the same item many, many times. Like the surgical tool at the beginning. There was one page where it seemed like you used the phrase 'surgical tool' every sentence. Changing how you describe the same item would make the story more vivid.

...continued

continuity error. An escape pod would never have windows that could be "kicked out". Think of the repercussions of such a design. Also, a steering wheel probably wouldn't be a practical mode of direction for a spacecraft.

In conclusion, thanks for the addition to the site and great first game. See if you can incorporate what I've written here into your next one.

P.S: Never EVER put an end game link in the first page. I try to never add one in the first 25-50 but I'm usually writing pretty long storygames. Make sure your plot can develop before it can end.

I really really like how you actually put a decent effort into this one. We so often get new writers who give up after six or seven pages but publish anyway. This wasn't a great story but it was good and excellent for a first. I enjoyed your enthusiasm as a writer that was evident but you broke a two "unbreakable" rules which destroyed the immersion for a reader.
1. Don't let a "random" choice lead to an end game. Always educate the reader to give them a chance.
2. Avoid navigational choices, it's tempting (see OMS... I regret that) but don't add a "left", "right" choice to a storygame. The reader should be navigating a story not navigating a physical terrain.
I also noticed that you wrote some of the story in the "passive voice". Look that up on google if you're not aware of what it is. Stick to the active voice to really come off as an excellent writer.
Finally, there was a continui

6/8. It was a short story, with error and mistakes, but in this case the simplicity was a good thing. You might ask another member to edit your story for you, and many people here would. My suggestion is that you lengthen this story, add more detail, and maybe incorporate the advanced editor with some items and such. Props on the replayability.