JeffreyJabs, The Reader

Member Since

6/28/2017

Last Activity

7/17/2017 6:46 PM

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21

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5

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Sage

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Recent Posts

Opinions on POV on 7/15/2017 6:24:48 PM

I'm writing a storygame right now (not for the summer contest, just because I want to write) in first person POV. Now, I've already read the help article on point of view and have some experience with writing already, but I'm new to writing storygames (not reading them, mind you!). The writer of the POV article emphasizes that writers should never blend perspectives. That makes sense because you don't want to confuse the reader by writing something like: 

"I tripped into a giant, steaming bowl of pasta. You died."

(Who is You? Why did he die as a result of your mistake?) 

However, writing death scenes - which I now recognize as unfortunate but necessary in storygames to slim down the number of branches - is tricky . Unfortunately, death scenes written in first person are notoriously cheesy and usually sound like: 

"I teeter on the edge of the monstrous pot of swarming spaghetti noodles, but before my faithful companion, You, can grasp my hand, my foot slips down the steamy surface of the pot and hurls me into the writhing noodles. The noodles consume me and soon everything turns black. The End." 

First person deaths lack context, I think, and you can't do anything after the death unless you rise from the dead. My solution: making it clear that perspective is changing by moving to a new paragraph, using italic font, and writing in third person whenever I need to write a death scene. If you need a professional example of this in action, you should read the last page of All Quiet on the Western Front, where the author retells the death in third person on a separate page. 

So far, I've only seen storygame writers use second-person POV. Perhaps I should just replace all my "I's" with "You's" and configure the wording a bit to convert. Still, I enjoy using first person and I find it appropriate when I'm writing the main storytelling part of the game. 

Another idea: perhaps the spirit of the dead body still lives and can continue in first person by narrating regrets, hints to the reader, last thoughts, etc. Just a random idea. Let me know what you guys think.


Desert Island List on 7/15/2017 2:01:59 AM

It was a bad pun, by the way. Maybe I should have capitalized it like afFINity. Also, I don't know where you came up with furries, but affinity doesn't mean that. 


Desert Island List on 7/15/2017 1:48:12 AM

I can see that I'll have to reconsider some parts of my plan if I want to live a decent enough year. I can learn how to make a fire with two sticks, of course, so no need to bring a magnesium starter. I'll have to exchange one of my pigs for a cow if I want milk. That way I can eat the shark meat. About the toxins, I was mainly worried about high levels of mercury in sharks although I don't know how quickly mercury affects the functioning of the human body. Like Mizal said, I only need the chainsaw for a few days to get the necessary wood for a shelter and enough firewood. The pigskins would protect me from the rain for a day while I'm making a legitimate shelter. Of course, if I'm going insane I probably enjoy the smell of rotting pig carcass. After I'm done with the chainsaw I can waste it away on sharks if I want to. In this universe I was arrested and exiled for 18 years as a leading child soldier in Africa, so I've been working out my upper body strength all my life to stay on top, not to mention the exercises I've been doing in prison and on the boat over here. Thus I can reel in the sharks just enough to harpoon them. I also probably need more music, so I'll throw in the albums Sleeping at Last Atlas 1, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, Beatles' Revolver, singles Living on a Prayer, Eye of the Tiger, and, of course, Criminal Mind by Gowan. Along with Down with the Sickness. I guess I'll take Breath of the Wild as one of the games. 

You might be wondering why I want to eat sharks so much. Let's just say I have ... an affinity.  

Also, it is a survival plan because I plan on surviving for a year.


Desert Island List on 7/14/2017 11:35:23 PM

Alright, right off the bat I want a chainsaw (power tool), a butcher knife, and a really sturdy fishing rod. I will also take seven bloody hogs. And these aren't normal hogs. I want man's evil nature itself bloody huge hogs. KILL THE BEAST. CUT HIS THROAT. SPILL HIS BLOOD. I will take Lord of the Flies, Clockwork Orange, The Complete Marquis de Sade, Moby Dick, The Old Man and the Sea, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Mysterious Island just to get into the mood. I will trade five movies for the entire One Piece TV series. I'll also take JAWS and Sharknado. I don't need any games but I guess I'll spend the week packing the 7 longest storygames. As for albums, I really only know about singles so I'll just downgrade and take Down with the Sickness. That's it. For the personal item, I want a harpoon. 

So what I'm doing with the hogs if I can resist the urge to eat them is use the bloody meat as bait for sharks - with the very sturdy fishing pole. Then, I have two options. I can either (1) run the shark through with my chainsaw if I can get it to jump above the water or (2) harpoon it while screaming THE WHALE! THE WHITE WHALE! even though it's neither white nor a whale. Assuming that the magic surrounding the island removes toxins from nearby sharks and makes them very good eating I will be set for, at most, maybe a year. Then I eat coconuts and die of insanity. Sorry, I really didn't want to spend 7 whole years trying to entertain myself. (Also I think I need a shelter; that's what the bloody pigskins are for) 


This movie I'm trying to remember on 7/14/2017 4:43:49 PM

Hello out there storygamers or beaners or whatever you call yourselves. Recently I have been trying to recall the name of this really lame movie I watched a while ago. Don't ask me why I want to know what the title was because I'm definitely not trying to watch it again. I stay up late at nights, eating bagels and making long Google searches (sometimes even to the fourth page) just so that I can try to find out what it was called. (Just kidding, I've only been to the third and haven't lost much sleep). Heck, even Akinator can't help me.

Anyways, maybe you guys can help me out. I'm pretty sure I got the movie from Redbox. I also have a vague recollection of the plot: a boy with weird orange-ish hair is your classic boy-become-hero kind who goes off to save a kingdom and a princess. However, the title of the movie is the irrelevant princess (sound familiar?). An octopus villain named Dr. (insert name here) hypnotizes the guards in the castle with, I think, some sort of fog. The kids who are immune to the fog then storm the castle and the main character gains magical powers including the ability to fly. That's all I know. Also, the animation style was childish and rudimentary. Thanks, also don't refer me to a psychologist because the APA already banned me for life. 

Just to make this a legitimate conversation, feel free to lament about the worst movies/games you've ever had the displeasure of witnessing.