TheNewIAP, The Grandmaster of the Written Word

Member Since


Last Activity

9/29/2019 2:48 PM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses


Marauder Exemplar



Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points Won the 2018 Epic Contest Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 94.2% of all Stories


Featured Story Bestist Frend Jane
After his best and only friend's brutal death, a seven-year-old boy sets out across the country hell-bent on fulfilling her dream. Along the way, he must overcome his deficiencies—both real and imagined—to assuage his own pain and guilt.

Winner of the 2018 EPIC Contest!

Thanks to everyone for pushing me throughout the contest so I could actually finish something for a change—especially the other contestants who were both helpful and competitive. And thanks to BradinDvorak for help with CSS.

Recent Posts

Black, Female or Gay? on 9/29/2019 2:46:47 PM

I guess I'd change white to black so I'd have an even better shot with white chicks so...

Straight White Male - Straight Black Male

I need 2,000 word stories ... on 9/28/2019 10:20:35 AM

If I did the math right, my storygame has netted me 410 points overall. It's all in the presentation and timing is everything.

MeltdownPro on 9/25/2019 10:27:44 AM
I have a difficult time taking people like this seriously. If she were an actual creative person to begin with, there are plenty of ways she could share her gift with the world. Most of them pay much more than that of the photoshopped crap everyone and their dog uploads nowadays. Back in my day, real artists didn't even use pencils, they used pens or paint. There was no "undo" button for mistakes. Heck, even having an eraser was a luxury. I remember digging holes right through my paper trying to erase mistakes before someone had the good sense to go and invent a special kind of ink. Now that I think about it, where's her proof that she's even an artist? For less than $10 she could buy enough spray cans to tag some building near where she lives and upload the pics. In fact, I have more than enough half empty cans lying around from previous projects that I'd donate to her cause. All she'd need to do is pay shipping. Does anyone remember the good ol' days when people used to write or draw on paper? I even crammed my work in the margins of newspapers and the like or on cardboard boxes when I couldn't afford a spiral notebook or package of loose leaf. Furniture, walls, the side of your neighbors' house or car, even your own body can be used as a canvas if the drive is strong enough. Before I'd resort to begging strangers for money, I'd buy a $200 laptop and get the free, no longer supported version of Scrivener. In fact, that's exactly what I did, right after installing a free operating system. And it's not just because I'm a cheapskate. It's because I have better things to waste my money on; like buying a used piece of equipment that also has the added benefit of wasting whatever free time I can manage to glean from my busy day in order to make enough money to buy another used piece of equipment, and so on... In conclusion, I can only think of one word to respond to someone so entitled: HA! Now, will you be so kind as to GET OFF MY LAWN!!

v20190007 Update on 9/20/2019 12:03:37 PM
Another great update! Thanks! The word count on my story is slightly lower than what Scrivener says just the page text is now. At least it isn't artificially inflated due to the fancy formatting I had to painstakingly insert to make it readable on the site. Also, it doesn't look like it includes link or page title text in the new calculation? And it dropped from a play length of 7 to a 6 which still isn't too bad, I guess. All in all, I'd say this is fantastic! Great job and hope you'll eventually get everything ironed out.

Defeat my Students! on 9/19/2019 6:15:09 PM

Figured I'd try this, too, because why not?

v20190002 Update on 8/16/2019 10:05:47 AM
I should've posted here for everyone instead of just Discord... I do like trophies so thanks for this!

Wtf is wrong with you? on 6/28/2019 8:22:28 PM
Traumas: Was homeless in 2nd grade and woke up with a 'possum snuggled up in my armpit once, and went without food for days at a time. Spent all of 3rd grade eating nothing but hot dogs or grape jelly sandwiches so I can't even look at those anymore. Nothing to speak of 'til after HS because I was finally old enough to work and child labor wasn't frowned upon back then. A grizzly nearly ran a moose over me and it was traumatic getting to the boat before the griz could make it there. Nearly cut my own leg off at the knee with a chainsaw. My severely obese neighbor waddled up the road to my house wearing spandex shorts and tried hitting on me.

Orientation: Not defective. Facing North since I'm at my computer desk.

Nationality: American.

Disorders: Dealing with hillbillies and retards and hillbilly retards on a daily basis. Working long hours, weekends and holidays, for far less money than I should. Not sleeping enough and sometimes too much. Overeating when I remember to eat at all.

Nothing really special, I guess. Just your average person.

Ask A SUCKubus on 6/28/2019 6:59:33 PM
There were strange things that happened at the house in the country we moved to when I was just starting HS.

There were knocks at the door and you could hear footsteps in random rooms at times when you were the only one in the house. I thought it might've been someone messing with us, but there never was anyone in sight when I'd rush outside to try to catch whoever it was. They couldn't have run the three-quarters of mile or so to the highway in that time and there were no hiding places nearby.

Lights would turn on and off by themselves. The toaster would pop up on its own. We had to turn running faucets off almost daily. I can't even recall all the other little things like that that were only minor nuisances.

Sometimes, the car would start out in the detached garage and then die the instant anyone would open the door to go check on it. The car's doors were still locked when we checked and there wasn't another door other than the big one that faced the house.

The closet door in my room would be open a crack if I woke up in the night. Even if I'd tied it shut or wedged something under it so it couldn't open, it would be flung wide open when I got up in the morning. And one time, the quilt I was using had been pulled off of me and dragged mostly inside and the door was wedged closed on it. With my baseball bat in hand, I cautiously opened the door to find no one in there.

My brother says that whatever it was that was there had followed him from there to every place he'd moved to. All I can say is that I'm glad it was him and not me.

50 words story thread. on 5/31/2019 2:09:26 PM
I figured I'd throw a few together since this thread is active again. So, here they are...

“I have always had a thing for soft, dainty hands. Yours may be the nicest I’ve seen in a good long while. I love how smooth your skin is and how perfectly it fits into mine, but if you don’t stop your damned blubbering I’ll cut the other one off!”

* * * * *

Joe loved Sally with all his heart. He’d planned out his proposal to be romantic in every detail. With butterflies in his stomach and holding back a goofy grin, he got down on one knee. He looked up with adoring eyes, cracked open the tiny box…and let one go.

* * * * *

As the rumble subsided and the smoke cleared, Jack slowly pulled off his mask to reveal the hollow sockets of a man who had gone through too much in the last days. The alien plantlife that had taken over was now iradicated and he was free to replant his garden.

The DUEL Stories - May 2019 on 5/28/2019 1:39:32 PM
There were some pretty good stories here, in my opinion. It wasn't easy for me to narrow it down to three, but here's my prefered order: 1 - H 2 - G 3 - J Great job everyone!