TheNewIAP, The Grandmaster of the Written Word
Winner of the 2018 EPIC Contest!
Thanks to everyone for pushing me throughout the contest so I could actually finish something for a change—especially the other contestants who were both helpful and competitive. And thanks to BradinDvorak for help with CSS.
Recent PostsBlack, Female or Gay? on 9/29/2019 2:46:47 PM
I guess I'd change white to black so I'd have an even better shot with white chicks so...
Straight White Male - Straight Black Male
I need 2,000 word stories ... on 9/28/2019 10:20:35 AM
If I did the math right, my storygame has netted me 410 points overall. It's all in the presentation and timing is everything.
MeltdownPro on 9/25/2019 10:27:44 AM
v20190007 Update on 9/20/2019 12:03:37 PM
Defeat my Students! on 9/19/2019 6:15:09 PM
Figured I'd try this, too, because why not?
v20190002 Update on 8/16/2019 10:05:47 AM
Wtf is wrong with you? on 6/28/2019 8:22:28 PM
Orientation: Not defective. Facing North since I'm at my computer desk.
Disorders: Dealing with hillbillies and retards and hillbilly retards on a daily basis. Working long hours, weekends and holidays, for far less money than I should. Not sleeping enough and sometimes too much. Overeating when I remember to eat at all.
Nothing really special, I guess. Just your average person.
Ask A SUCKubus on 6/28/2019 6:59:33 PM
There were knocks at the door and you could hear footsteps in random rooms at times when you were the only one in the house. I thought it might've been someone messing with us, but there never was anyone in sight when I'd rush outside to try to catch whoever it was. They couldn't have run the three-quarters of mile or so to the highway in that time and there were no hiding places nearby.
Lights would turn on and off by themselves. The toaster would pop up on its own. We had to turn running faucets off almost daily. I can't even recall all the other little things like that that were only minor nuisances.
Sometimes, the car would start out in the detached garage and then die the instant anyone would open the door to go check on it. The car's doors were still locked when we checked and there wasn't another door other than the big one that faced the house.
The closet door in my room would be open a crack if I woke up in the night. Even if I'd tied it shut or wedged something under it so it couldn't open, it would be flung wide open when I got up in the morning. And one time, the quilt I was using had been pulled off of me and dragged mostly inside and the door was wedged closed on it. With my baseball bat in hand, I cautiously opened the door to find no one in there.
My brother says that whatever it was that was there had followed him from there to every place he'd moved to. All I can say is that I'm glad it was him and not me.
50 words story thread. on 5/31/2019 2:09:26 PM
“I have always had a thing for soft, dainty hands. Yours may be the nicest I’ve seen in a good long while. I love how smooth your skin is and how perfectly it fits into mine, but if you don’t stop your damned blubbering I’ll cut the other one off!”
* * * * *
Joe loved Sally with all his heart. He’d planned out his proposal to be romantic in every detail. With butterflies in his stomach and holding back a goofy grin, he got down on one knee. He looked up with adoring eyes, cracked open the tiny box…and let one go.
* * * * *
As the rumble subsided and the smoke cleared, Jack slowly pulled off his mask to reveal the hollow sockets of a man who had gone through too much in the last days. The alien plantlife that had taken over was now iradicated and he was free to replant his garden.
The DUEL Stories - May 2019 on 5/28/2019 1:39:32 PM