This story was written to explain the existence of a damaged nickel that I have to IAP. It was copy/pasted from Discord to here. It is long and in the raw, but worth the read.
I have a silver nickel.
Oh, yeah. It's more of like three quarters of a nickel.
I was never the best at math.
It's a funny story, actually, how that all happened.
It's long, and somewhat obscure.
It all began in my junior year of high school.
My favorite teacher of all time, Mr. Dillucio taught my English 3 class.
Why was he my favorite, you ask?
Well, he genuinely cared for his students outside of the given "I want you to learn this" and all that garbage.
He was extremely funny, and was not afraid to offend anyone.
This was very appealing to edgy 16-17 year old me.
I remember the first day I had class with him he gave out this mind-numbingly easy worksheet, and began to start a conversation with one of the students.
He already began to crack jokes and belittle the class in a light-hearted tongue-in-cheek manner.
I was already laughing within the first ten minutes of class, and I knew that Mr. D was special.
As time went on, Mr. D began to make darker and edgier jokes.
He accepted the ascribed label that he had been given by his students, as he truly was a "savage".
He began to joke about politics, and would derail the lessons in class more often.
He would talk about how he had begun to tire of the interactions between the other teachers, and how his students were generally unruly.
He once said, "Y'know one of these days you guys are going to walk into class and find me hanging from the rafters."
Edgy as it was, he would often say...
(oh dang I can't remember the phrase)
(give me a moment)
(I remember now,)
He would often say, "There's truth in every joke."
I took that to heart.
Was D truly considering suicide?
What would I do without him?
He was objectively the best class of my day.
I was doing well, as the work was easy.
I was actually originally enrolled in AP Lang, but, I didn't even register for the class.
That was a problem, because that class had a summer assignment, (that I didn't do).
I am glad I didn't follow through.
I would have never met Mr. D.
Anyways, I used to spend a lot of time after school with Dillucio.
We would talk about life and laugh together.
He would tell me about how he didn't like most of his co-workers, and the advances that one female teacher (we'll call her Kim) seemingly was making towards him.
Ms. Kim once even came into his classroom after school.
I was there.
She complained that her back hurt, and said she "needed something to lean on".
I took it as "Pay attention to me, D."
"Give me a back rub."
She complained that the chairs in her classroom didn't have sufficient backing on them.
The ones in Dillucio's room had good backing, ideal for popping your lower back on.
She went and sat in a chair, and squirmed around.
I thought she was ham-handed, and obvious.
After she left, I joked,
"I've got something for her to lean on." ;)
Ms. Kim was probably 23-28 years old.
Maybe a bit older.
I thought it was unfit for a woman to act like that.
Dillucio often made references to his "secretary".
He never named her, but he denied that it was Ms. Kim.
He could have lied, though.
He said he didn't call his female companion his girlfriend, because he said "women want that validation that they've got you."
So, he did his best to not call her that.
So, Kim and Diluccio seemed to be having some problems.
I'm unsure of all what happened.
Maybe they were having sex on the side.
That seems probable.
But, in class and during our afterschool time Diluccio would talk about how he enjoyed buying gold and collecting actual silver coins.
This part is where the nickel comes in.
A few days later, during our afterschool hang-out, one of my classmate/friends come in.
He was a white kid, maybe native American? He said he was.
He wasn't too bright.
I assumed he either had some sort of special needs, or was just dropped too many times as an infant.
He wasn't downy-level stupid, just a bit airy.
He comes walking in, and asks D if he wants to buy some sort of energy drink.
There were a few flavors, but the D buys one called GREEN THUNDER.
D says it like that, every time.
It even becomes a bit of a joke in class.
Kim comes in a day later or so.
Kim comes in, says some dumb female bollocks, I think she was inviting D to the football game or something.
D then starts talking about how he and his secretary were having some trouble.
(This actually happened.)
(I cry about it sometimes.)
As I was saying, his secretary was threatening to kill herself, and was holding a steak knife to her wrist.
She was crying on the floor, saying something about how D didn't care about her.
He says some edgy mess like, "Sweetheart, it's down the stream, not across the street."
She says, "You're supposed to be helping me!"
D retorts with, "I am helping you."
I let out a kek.
He then made a joke about Kim, "Thinking about this GREEN THUNDER, if she comes back in here again, she's going to get THUNDERED to death."
He then explained that he had adopted the word THUNDERED to use synonymously to pounded.
Just a sex joke.
This happened between he and I, if I remember correctly.
Some days pass.
A rumor is spreading around the school that people in D's class are being called in to give an account of some sort.
This can only mean trouble.
(After getting halfway through this, I should have just put this in greentext format. Oh well.)
People are called in, and tell me what's up.
The rumor is true.
One of the vice principals is interrogating kids about D.
I begin to feel anxious.
Eventually, I'm called in.
He initiates some small talk, and then gets to what he summoned me for.
He asks me some questions about Mr. D, writing my answers down.
"What do you think about him?"
"Does he ever talk about inappropriate topics in class?"
"Has he ever done anything to any of the students in your class?"
He asks me some more questions, and I do my best to not lie, but also paint D in a good light.
I only know that this whole ordeal means trouble for D.
I get out, and hope for the best.
I think that it was either that day, or a day later.
I'm eating my lunch alone outside the library.
I see the principal, and the same vice-principal walk D out of the campus.
D looks angry.
Angrier than I have ever seen him.
"What's going on?"
He shakes his head, and tosses me a nickel.
This is a real silver nickel.
I hold it, and watch as he is escorted off campus.
Word spreads, and no one is sure if D was fired or not.
We had a few substitute teachers for the next few weeks.
Every day, I would walk into class, hoping to see if Diluccio was there.
He never was.
Nobody on staff explained anything.
It seems they just tried to brush everything under the rug.
There were only rumors.
I guess he had been making inappropriate remarks to people in the workplace.
I even remember in one of my other classes, a girl admitted to spilling the beans.
"I told them everything."
I burned with anger.
But, now, I see that it really didn't matter.
People said they had been contacting D via twitter.
But, he would have to friend you or whatever.
I thought I would never see him again.
One night, I walked outside for some fresh air.
My family was getting a little draining.
I think they were mad at me for not doing my chores or something like that.
I did what I needed to, and walked outside.
I told my mom I was going for a walk and would be back in a few hours.
This was about six months after the whole Diluccio incident.
I had begun to take my silver nickel with me for good luck.
It's a bit ironic, seeing that it came from a man who lost his job, but whatever.
I walk down the bike trail, it functioned similarly to a park, albeit long and snaked through the town.
One of the entrances was only a block or two from my house.
I felt sort of strange, as I had never been to the trail at night.
The sun went down, and it soon became very dark.
Walking and looking back, I could see what I hoped were racoons.
I could only see their eyes, from the glow of my flashlight.
I was too spooked to turn back.
What if they weren't racoons?
Alongside this part of the bike trail is an old and dried up riverbed.
The homeless are known to pitch tents down there.
Feeling a bit brave, I clenched my lucky nickel and foolishly went into the dry bank.
I could look up and see the moon, and some stars.
It was nice.
But, I nearly soiled myself when I heard a voice in front of me yell, "HEY! GET OUTTA HERE!"
I heard the woosh of a long stick-like object and tried to dodge, but was too slow.
The nickel was smacked out of my hand and I heard the clunk of metal.
I reached for my light and flashed it at my attacker.
My heart leaped!
It was D!
"What are you doing here?"
He looked haggard, and unkempt.
In his hand was a metal pipe.
"Zag? You gained weight."
We both laughed.
I asked him what happened.
He said that there were a lot of kids and co-workers complaining about his behavior, and his apparent sexual misconduct with Kim is what tipped the scale.
I went over and gave him a hug.
"Why are you down here? How long have you been down here?"
He told me that he had planned to drive up to the mountains and live off the gold he panned for.
(I'm not even joking)
He said that his car was parked nearby, but ran out of gas, and he had ran out of money.
His secretary had either thrown out or stolen most of his silver coins at his house, and he was now a literal derelict.
I told him he could take a shower at my place, and get some food.
I was about to walk off with him, before looking on the ground for my lucky nickel.
It was half-buried in some sand due to the scuffle, and I found that it was damaged.
A piece was almost broken off.
I picked it up, and walked him over to my house, calling my mom as we walked there.
She said that he could spend the night on the couch, and we would help him figure things out.
I was surprised, as she didn't really like Mr. D.
So, we got to my home.
I opened the door,
got on the floor,
and everyone did the dinosaur.
I’ve always liked green text-like stories. They have a rather to-the-point feel about them which helps keep the reader interested. I haven’t been on the discord in a little bit, so I don’t really know if this is all complete fact or not. I’m just going to operate under the assumption that it is. Thus, let us begin.
First things first: Your opening line is good, and (based the story style) appropriate for the rest of the story. It’s sets the flow for the rest of the story, and is enough to keep me reading for at least another few lines. I don’t know how much others like simplistic opening lines, but, for one, am a fan. The story progresses easily enough with just enough interesting bits to keep the reader satisfied, but then we get to the GREEN THUNDER part.
I know this is a rough story, so keep that in mind, but dang, this part could’ve been handled better. I liked the story about, behind, and around it, but the transition from the first part of the story to the suicidal secretary wasn’t very good. You use an aside to start the transition off which completely halts the flow and takes the reader out of the story, then (and maybe it’s just me) I kinda lose track of what happened here. Reading back through it I can gather what happened, but on my first read through I didn’t know if the secretary was threatening to cut herself open in front of kids in the classroom, or if she was going to do it in front of you, or what have you. Reading back through it, I found that Mr. D was telling you about what happened, and that the secretary didn’t in fact go full suicide in a school building. That being said, you could definitely mop it up a little bit, so people (and again, it might just be me) don’t get confused.
Continuing on, the story reverts back to the easy flowing nature it had before up until you go on your late night adventure. You never explicitly state why you’re going to the creek, but the reader can assume you’re going to see if Mr. D was there. Well they can, but then they’d be a little confused when you’re surprised when some talks to you. Maybe surprise at them striking out at you, but it seemed more general surprise to me. Perhaps make intent a little more obvious here, so we know exactly why you went to the creek on this night of all nights, etc.
My last critique is the last three lines. I know it’s a meme, but I’m kinda invested into the story at this point. Unless the entire story was meant as troll, then these last few lines don’t make any narrative sense. Especially given that the entire story seems like it’s the complete opposite of a troll story. In any case the solution is simple here. Just find a better place to stop the story.
All in all, good job. I like to focus on criticism more than praise, because that’s how most get better, but know that you made a nice interesting story here Zag. It was indeed “worth the read.”
I appreciate the help, buddy.
Of course, (platonic) mistress.
Funny thing is I thought it was boring story when I stumbled on you guys in the middle of it and didn't stay for the ending.
Interesting story. thanks for that!