It was a cold night, yet nobody could feel the frost in the air. In fact, nobody could feel anything except for the excitement native to this time of the year, the late hours of the 6th day after Christmas. Everyone had their screens tuned to Time Square in New York, where a giant ball awaits to be dropped.
Everyone's attention was tuned to the ball - and then to the hooded man standing atop it. Within seconds, the sounds of cheery conversation gave way to the clamoring of confusion. The firefighters starting preparing their ladders while the police prepared to beat the everliving shit out of this cloaked man who made them work overtime on New Years. However, everyone stopped at whatever they were doing, for the hooded man started to speak in a loud, booming voice.
"The time of the ball's drop quickly approaches," the man begins. By now, all cameras are on him, alongside almost every eye in the nation - nay, in the world! "However, I am most disappointed by you wretches. Even now, I am sure most of you here made a resolution of sorts?" He waits for several seconds, "Well, mere humans? ANSWER ME!"
The police, no longer amused at his ramblings, starts arranging an accident in which the man falls off the ball with a mysterious hole in his face. The civilians started to speak once more, their voices overriding each other's until nobody can be heard through the shouts and screams of the crowd. The hooded figure raises an arm in a universal command for silence, which the crowd quickly obliges.
"I will take your cries as an affirmative. However, that makes me angry. Do you know why this angers me, your collective promises to better yourselves?" He asks, barely giving the crowd time to answer before continuing, "It angers me because these are all EMPTY PROMISES. Promises with no merit, no damned meaning!" He breathes heavily, slowly composing himself.
Meanwhile, the SWAT moves into place. Lieutenant Kern, the sniper assigned for the accident, prepares himself for the shot. He holds his breath, aligning his scope with the head of the man, and just before he pulls the trigger, he blacks out. Less than half a second later, he is back to his senses - where he finds himself on top of the ball alongside the cloaked man.
The hooded man addresses the crowd once more, "This year, your resolutions will not be empty promises! As an incentive to follow through with your word, look at this man who stands near me! Earlier, he made the resolution to spend more time with his family instead of shooting criminals for fun, and already - in the span of 2 hours - killed 6 people! Not to mention, this wretch broke away from his family the second they offered him another victim. What do you all think of that?!"
The crowd chorused with an ocean of yays and nays, hoorays and boos. Even though they were most likely thinking of Kern as a murderer, many were outright scared of the seeming teleportation that took place.
The hooded man made the signal for silence once again and started speaking, "However, you dishonest peasants, this man will not be the only to face judgment. For now though, just watch. This man is guilty of backing down on his promise, and now he will forevermore be damned to the REALM OF SHAME." Suddenly, Lieutenant Kern's eyes glazed over, and he slumped over, his lifeless body falling into the crowd below. Before anyone could comprehend what just happened, the cloaked figure spoke his final lines. "He was not the first, and will not be the last. Should ANY of you break your resolutions for ANY reason, you WILL be subject to the realm of shame alongside that pathetic oaf. Happy New Year, you hopeless bastards."
With those words, he vanished, and the ball he stood on prior started to fall. The new year has begun, but nobody was feeling like celebrating.
Moral of the story - Resolutions suck when you have an edgelord threatening to damn you to the realm of shame.
P.s. Let's be real here, I think most of the world would end up going to the realm of shame.
