That is what I told myself when I first logged into ***.com (Not that I'd tell the name [legal reasons]) But I was originally told to go there by a trusted individual who may or may not be apart of this community. I was told my problems would be over, that my life would be saved, saved from the torment, the agony, the pressure of living my lie. The lie that everything was ok, everything would be just fine, scars reminding me that they weren't, and all I needed to do was to count to ten, simple task.
1 was simple enough, 1 life that may be lost and 1 person to blame, it is as straightforward as they come, I should just press the button, but then again, no one ever should, to press that 1... simple... button would be the end of me, I'm sure that they would find me, that is what IP addresses are for, right?
2. Was a little harder, the tear soaked eyes have since dried up, although if they were finished or if I had ran out of tears I do not know, two seconds pass, I breath deep, and then question myself again.
3. Was a burden to myself, I had entered the information, they might find him tonight, then again this could be a hoax.
4. That's what this is, a hoax, I press that button, and nothing happens. or better yet, they track me down, and arrest me, it's considered conspiracy, right? To want to end your suffering is considered conspiracy, in some countries it's suicide, sempoku, or any other form of ending yourself, but in this violent nation of affairs, you gotto take someone else first, right?
5. Was as easy as the 1st, no harder no softer, Reconsideration is impossible, I have made up my mind, I should press it now, and get it over with, he deserves it, I don't care what happens to me, I should just finalize this deal, this social contract, before it's too late.
6. That's it, I've decided no turning back now.
7. was harder than the 6th, this is bad, I know it's bad and I don't care about him, he is dust in the wind, and I am the one to blow him away.
8. Blow him away, that sounds like shooting, I wish I had the courage to consider that, I wouldn't mind the splatter, but it just Isn't my thing.
9. Made me think, if there was a million people being tortured on the train tracks and I only had to push his fat ass off of them to get it to stop, would I?
10. Mad me sure, yes I would, and yes I did.
The button pushed I walk away, maybe I will forget about him, maybe he will be a ghost to haunt me, maybe it's a hoax, but it doesn't matter, I decided, that's what matters, goodbye, farewell, and I'll see you tomorrow.
(authors note: What do you think of my writing style? I haven't really proven my ground yet, so I decided to do what I do best, write something detailed and thought provoking, submit it in the worst possible hour, go to sleep, the wake up tomorrow and see who enjoyed it, and then accredit any disinterest to the hour at which this was posted.)
(Authors other note: If by some miracle you made it this far good job, I really commend you for your effort by telling you that I am going to start a new story, and this might be a teaser to what the story is about, what do you think? any tips? compliments? or should I just shove it in a well and burn my computer? That can be advice too, good night.)
