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The Weekly Review - Edition 38
5 years ago
The Weekly Review – Edition 38
FEATURING
What’s New: Story Games and Forums
Recommended Reads and Reviews: BerkaZerka’s Dead Man Walking
Featured Article: Contributions Welcome
Interview: Ogre11 (Archives)
The Riddle Corner
Points League
Credits
WHAT’S NEW
In Story Games the newest stories are Unkindcrab’s Friday the 13th, elfred’s Arakhan’s Vengeance and my The Spanish Armada.
In Newbie Central the site welcomes L0garithmst0rys, dug110, Rich, KShadow81, andreacsenge, foyboy, Chkn, Mono, Lyrwa, faith176, ReturnToManagua, eeythatsprettygood, CrazyCraz3R and Degenerate_Dan!
In the Lounge Delight_Games introduces the site to some interesting interactive fiction!
In News and Updates Mizal’s 2019 Story Contest remains top news!
In the Parlour Room Avery_Moore prompts the latest reveal of interesting comments!
In the Creative Corner ShoujoAddict’s 50 Word Short Story Thread is extremely popular!
In the Writing Workshop KyotoMatt develops an idea for his first story game!
In the Reading Corner nothing has happened since Algae’s Good Stories thread!
In the Advanced Editor Forum Avery_Moore seeks to code “and/or”!
In the Feature Wishing Well nothing has happened since OriginalClamurai’s Poster suggestion!
In the Bugs and Problems section I pose a question!
RECOMMENDED READS AND REVIEWS
BerkaZerka’s Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)
A Horror Story with a Maturity of 6, a Play Length of 8, a Story Difficulty of 6 and a Player Rating of 7.3
Reviews:
Madglee
The story reminds me of the Energizer Bunny commercials: it keeps going, and going, and going. This is a good thing. I backed up and tried different paths a few times and was pleasantly surprised (and a bit awed) to find that the author has created quite a complex, sprawling spider-web of possible storylines, giving the story a lot of replayability.
I love the lack of an actual inventory and the way your choices affect later portions of the story. I believe whole portions of pages have script-driven text which "remember" the choices you made. Throughout, the author presents difficult scenarios for the main character to puzzle through, and the whole experience feels very open-ended, as many choices are shades of grey, rather than overtly evil/good, foolish/intelligent, pragmatic/emotional.
The story has minimal typos and I only found one "bug," demonstrating the author's commitment to proofreading and editing. At times, I would have liked a bit more action rather than explanation, particularly with the length of these portions, but overall the story had a nice pace and rarely felt dull. Also, some of the dialogue could be rewritten to feel more real and dynamic, but these are minor criticisms.
The depth of the story is obvious, as is the author's commitment to produce some solid work. I am definitely going to re-read this and try some completely different tactics. I got what I suspect is the second best ending.
Nyctophilia
This is an excellent storygame, and it is quite obvious to those with a functioning brain why this is one of the best storygames in the site, but I do not think that it is the very best. It had a hard battle with stories like Eternal, but with the way the author wrote this, it could very well win that battle.
The flow of the writing was set at a perfect pace. The writing was complex and didn't have that choppy feel that you get from some of the stories that can be found on this site, which greatly improved the flow and gave it a very smooth feel. Action scenes were smoothly developed and foreshadowed admiringly by the author, creating a good suspenseful feeling for me as a reader.
The way the plot was developed was simply masterful. This story had everything; exposition, raising action, numerous climactic scenes, even more action and suspense that couldn't be quite labeled as "falling action", and a variety of resolutions. Each scene kept me on the edge of my seat and I found myself clicking that link to the next page faster than Usain Bolt can run.
The writing was very descriptive and I could clearly picture each scene in my mind, and I felt as though I was actually a part of the story. Generic movie crap isn't included in this story, and it really comes down to you and your brain.
Each character in the story is introduced and developed in a way that makes me feel as if I've known them for a long time and I can understand everything about them. They become part of the virtual world created by the author's writing and play an important role in developing the story.
It is quite obvious that a great deal of time and effort was put into proofreading this because I didn't notice any mistakes in grammar or spelling, and even if I had, I doubt they would have taken anything from this storygame.
8/8
Dueconsideration
This is one of the first interactive novels I have ever experienced, but I have to assume that part of the reason people post these stories is to improve their writing. I will tailor my comment accordingly.
Praise first: I could not stop reading it. The vivid and expansive world captivates the reader's attention and (not unlike a ravening zombie) refuses to let go. BerkaZerka's exceedingly detailed and practical voice lays the world of the story before the reader like a blueprint, yet amid the practical descriptions are horrifying, frightening, and even tender moments which evoke the reader's emotions as their hopes are realized and/or shattered. The realization that one false move (just like an actual survival situation) could spell catastrophe kept me perpetually on the edge of my seat. BerkaZerka was only sometimes cruel, normally dishing out death and horror only to the deserving. This story was entertaining, and suspenseful; it divided its time equally between granting gratification which built my confidence and absolutely devastating me.
Now the criticism. Keep the above praise in mind as you read these notes:
My biggest issue with the story was the dialogue. Weak dialogue has the effect of breeding the reader's indifference toward the characters. Indifference means that the reader won't have an emotional response when the characters interact, succeed, fail, die, escape death, etc. Though the descriptions were captivating, the dialogue laid flat on the page. Dialogue is, of course, one of the most staggeringly difficult parts writing fiction. I have been told before to "Never let your characters say exactly what they are thinking." and I am afraid that BerkaZerka is badly guilty of this in the story.
Avoid using "thing" or "things" in your writing. I appreciate that the author is working to make the narrator's voice sound casual and authentic (and it comes across nicely throughout the story,) but "things" is just lazy writing.
Throughout the story the pacing felt strange to me. Some scenes or details would receive detail bordering on excessive, whereas other times the reader feels as though the story has lurched erratically forward. I realize that achieving consistency throughout 2000+ pages of adventure can be a difficult task, but it is something to be mindful of. One scene in particular (With the Arab and the Spaniard) comes to mind. I understand that you were working to include a camio, but the whole scene felt exceedingly detailed to no end. When demanding the reader's attention for such detail, take the opportunity to have some kind of literary impact or statement. This scene in particular leaves the reader scratching their head, unsatisfied.
My last point is on the subject of foreshadowing (the following is not a spoiler because it starts off in literally the opening scene). Throughout the story the foreshadowing was skillfully wielded and left me wondering who the mysterious figure could be and what it could mean for my adventure. It does what good foreshadowing should and adds to the suspense. This effect lasted until one of the characters I encountered in the story inexplicably BLURTED out an observation about it. This effectively shattered the spell of the otherwise-powerful sense of foreboding. This critique goes hand-in-hand with my previous comment about characters saying exactly what they mean. This obviously-forced attempt at foreshadowing was lazy and disappointing. I do not mean to sound harsh, but it is a pity to see such a chilling, effective literary tool squandered on a weak, one-line reminder to "Hey, remember to be scared of the ominous badness!"
There, I'm finished. I hope it is apparent that I give this advice (and criticism) out of a genuine desire to see this excellent writing become even better.
I recommend Dead Man Walking very highly. Its weaknesses were few enough as to allow me to enjoy the experience thoroughly. Genuine satisfaction, frustration, regret, sadness, and joy are sure indicators of a thorough, well constructed, and gripping tale.
Cheers, BerkaZerka.
FEATURED ARTICLE
Contributions Welcome
Ok… so for most of the last two years I’ve been mostly absent from the site moving in with, then getting engaged to, my loved one while doing all of that cute couple stuff that is really fun for us but mildly nauseating for those around us. Though still working a seven day a week schedule (truly) I have decided to rededicate more of my time to writing, hence my increased involvement again with the Site that I love.
To make myself more active I have started re-publishing both The Roll of Honour and The Weekly Review. Due to my heavy work schedule I can devote minimum amounts of time and effort to both (hence the large amounts of copying and pasting you might notice in this Review) so I would welcome any contributions site members can make to Reviews, Articles, Interviews, Riddles or anything else interesting. I can produce the basic outline of the Review every week but the more people who contribute the more interesting it will be.
I’ve been on this site nearly five years now and there have been a lot of changes in Site Admins and the general site feel. The members remain a wonderfully individual and vibrant bunch and there are some extremely intelligent and creative people running things, I am hoping that by making my own regular modest contribution to the site I can help encourage others to develop and expand on their own projects.
INTERVIEW
Due to time constraints I can’t conduct personal interviews anymore, fortunately the previous 37 editions of the Weekly Review provide a good amount of archived material to draw upon! Way back from Edition 8 in 2015 is an interview with most commended site member Ogre11!
Q: Why do you write Choose your Own Stories?
A: Why don't more people? Why do I write? Because it is fun. I really do like it. And I enjoy reading the feedback others give to the stories I write here. Now if I could just convince more of them to rate my stories with that elusive 8... oh, but as for "Choose Your Own Stories" specifically, I do remember many, many, many, many years ago reading a printed book (remember those?) that was a Choose Your Own Adventure Story. It was a small book, smaller than a regular paperback I think. It had a wizard and a dragon on the cover, I think. It was a neat way to read a story. I remember sticking my fingers in all the pages where I made a choice so I could go back if I didn't like the result of my choice.
I always liked those books, but I couldn't find enough of them to read. I was thinking how easy that would be to implement in HTML and the web, but I just never built a site to do that. Then one day I found this site where all the hard work had already been done, so I started making up my own stores here, and do still quite enjoy not just writing them, but reading them (hint, hint, everyone else, write more for me to read!)
Q: What is your preferred method and writing style?
A: Oh my. What is writing method and style? Those who have read some of my stories may have noticed that I try different things, at least when it comes to Choose Your Own Story. I've tried writing from the beginning to end, then breaking it up; I've tried planning parts on paper; and I've just written one page at a time to see where it will go.
I suppose if I had to nail down a method or style, it would be blurb writing. What's that, you say? When I get an idea for a story into my head (which I do very often), I find I like just throwing it all out there and writing where it leads me. I haven't been as successful in writing a longer story, but perhaps that's why I have written almost only short stories and have completed zero long stories/books. I write in spurts where I get huge piles of words down on the page in short periods of time, then end up not writing for sometimes days at a time. I don't know if that actually answers your question at all.
Q: Do you have any plans for future stories?
A: More than I could ever describe! I have notes on at least 3 book-length stories. I have at least 3 series of short stories with characters and ideas. I have other ideas for short stories wandering around my head. I know what I just typed conflicts with what I said in the last question, but not really. I have the ideas and plans, but not much detail. When it strikes me, the story appears in my head and WHAM, piles of words on the page.
More specifically, here on Choose Your Own Story, I've got one that is a long ways off that has been a ton of fun, Spy Mission. In that story, you are an average Joe who suddenly gets swept up in the world of espionage. There's tons of options and items and lots of ways to go. I'm also working on a series that is ending up a lot longer than I thought. I started out trying to write about Rory Thorn, a student in math class who has a number of different adventures. But I wanted to give the reader a lot of options. So the end result is that I'm writing a short story -- the end story as you read it will be around 3,000 words. But there are 32 different ways through the story! So yes, that is literally 32 different short stories -- which means I have to write 12-15,000 words. It has been a lot of fun, but it is really, really long for me in this setting.
Q: Who are your favorite authors and what are your favourite stories on this site?
A: Why did you spell "favorite" two different ways in that question? Does that mean you're half Brit? ;)
I don't know if I could single out individuals without missing some of them. I've read nearly every story on the site, and the only ones I haven't read, I haven't solved yet (but I have tried)! There are a large number of very good writers on this site. I guess I would say that the one story that really sucked me into the site and kept me here (coming back again and again to find my way to the end) is MyVacation. That one had lots of options, and was a real neat combination of a story and a game.
Q: Any advice for other writers?
A: Write! No really, just write! I almost applaud the Warrior Cats authors who tried to write here in the recent past. Yes, those stories were bad. They were really bad. But they did try. I know many, many authors who are so invested in their stories that they will never publish them. In many cases, they will take criticism personally and don't want to subject themselves to that. Here is a secret: someone is going to hate what you write, no matter how good it is.
A secret about me: I'm actually a professional, published writer. I have written a good number of non-fiction articles that have been published in different print magazines (remember those?). But I have also written dozens more articles that have NOT been published because someone didn't like them. I've even written articles that one editor didn't like and someone else grabbed up and published! But if you don't actually write, submit, or in the case of Choose Your Story, publish, then no one will ever see it! Don't write total crap, but do write and let other people see what you're writing. You might be surprised how much some people will like it.
Q: How about some final thoughts?
A: You mean I haven't written enough yet? I guess I'd like to thank all the people who have written articles here. I'd also like to thank all those who have helped me with comments on my stories and help in the forums. And a huge thanks to Alexp, 3J and others who help keep this site going. I've worked with a lot of web sites over the years, and to be honest, with the lack of appearances of the founders, every day I wonder if this site will just disappear. I am quite glad that it has not, and I do hope the hosting continues for many more years. I notice that the domain name doesn't expire until 2016, but hopefully that and the hosting will continue long past that point. And thanks to you, Will11, for the honor of being interviewed for the Review!
RIDDLE CORNER
1: You cannot keep me until you have given me. What am I?
2: What is hard to find but easy to lose, worth more than gold but costs less than a penny?
3: I am a seed with three letters in my name. Take away two letters and I sound quite the same. What am I?
POINTS LEAGUE
This new feature is an attempt to give a weekly update of which site members have the most points. This is tentative at best and I have only managed to work it out as far down as Master Scrivener (3,000 Points and above), I hope to expand it to include Expert, Journeyman and possibly Apprentice Scriveners (2,500, 2,000 and 1,500 Points respectively) to make it 50 or, if I’m really ambitious, 100 names long. I will make a separate thread requesting assistance with identifying those with 1,500 Points or more or asking those members with those point scores to identify themselves. This is what I have so far:
0: The Gods Alexp (Founder), Chocobot (Founder), Cysid (Robot Mascot), EndMaster (Admin), Madglee (Admin) and March5th00 (Founder) (Infinite Points)
1: The Million Word Malkavian Admin BerkaZerka (10,142 Points)
2: The Reader former Admin JJJ-thebanisher (5,666 Points)
3: The Grandmaster of the Written Word TheNewIAP (5,194 Points)
4: The Grandmaster of the Written Word Ogre11 (4,959 Points)
5: The Grandmaster of the Written Word Will11 (4,231 Points)
6: The Master Scrivener Admin Fleshnblood_78 (3,780 Points)
7: The Master Scrivener Reverencia (3,631 Points)
8: The Master Scrivener TharaApples (3,457 Points)
9: The Master Scrivener former Admin Sethaniel (3,424 Points)
10: The Master Scrivener ThePirateCaptain (3,378 Points)
11: The Master Scrivener Seto (3,331 Points)
12: The Master Scrivener Admin Mizal (3,273 Points)
13: The Master Scrivener Kumquat (3,061 Points)
CREDITS
BerkaZerka for Dead Man Walking and madglee, Nyctophilia and dueconsideration for their Reviews.
Ogre11 for his original Interview.
Mizal and Chanbot/Ford for help with the Points League.
All of you for taking the time to read this Review.
