Translation: "Don't let me get caught."

Well, so far, Kathee was an alt, and Sammich is already terrible at his job. I'd say it's not too late to beg an admin to delete this thread for you, but I don't think your account is going to last much longer anyway.

I heard a rumor that someone had rated this story a 3/8, so I made the decision to go ahead and give it an 8/8 in order to counteract this injustice as best I could. Imagine my surprise when I recalled that I'd already rated it 8/8 in the first place.
I hope that is enough to save the life of at least one CYStian.

It was more so a combination of just being a fast reader and insomnia. There's quite a few storygames here that take around between one and five minutes to finish (mostly ones with a rating below three). Many of the more time-consuming games I'd already beaten during my lurking days, such as the Walmart Game and Fairview Jurassic Park, so knowing the solutions definitely played a role.
Also, just to clear up any confusion now, I am a boy.

This already got answered, but it definitely sounds like A Game of Life And Death, which I could never beat during my lurking days a few years back.
Not sure why the author would take it down, though, I remember it having quite a good rating.

Is that so? I figured a fair share of people would have it, but then again, I guess some people probably come here to write more than they read. 
Anyways, from the looks of it, you have plenty of much prettier trophies anyways, so I'm sure there's room for you to do some scorning of your own. Thank you again for the congratulations, I'll do my best to be a proper contributor to the website in the future.

I didn't realize that it was much of an achievement, but this congratulations is deeply appreciated! I'm actually going through a pretty rough breakup at the moment, so this massive storygame reading binge was a really nice escape for me. I hope to contribute a few of my own in the future.
You and several other authors have made the past few days a lot easier for me, Mizal, and this post feels like the icing on the cake. Thank you very much.
By the way, the rest of you completely suck.

I don't feel that a first-choice death means an automatic 1/8 in most cases.
Then again, after reading a handful of stories here, I can safely say that plenty of the ones with first-choice deaths are of low enough quality that such a rating is justified regardless.

I would offer some sagely cooking advice, but there's part of me that wants to believe that they're still working on turning the skillet on.