Warden

This is the definition of a short, solid story. It tells a complete story, has a little bit of branching that it makes up for by each path feeling unique, and the writing is fantastic. It doesn’t have much scale, but it is compact and doesn’t waste any time. I think it is definitely worth your time, seeing as it’s decently short anyway.

One thing that I liked is that the story didn’t dwell on the initial, “Car broke down, strange cabin, monster chase,” plot. It skips right over that with a few sentences and goes right into the interesting part.

I wasn’t a fan of the whole paths connecting with the first choice, but eh. Other reviews talked about that being genius, so maybe I missed something.

Besides that I liked the endings and their variety. For a small game like this having varied endings is a must. My favorite is the family ending, though the nursery one is a close second.

I like the sister, she’s great. It’s a funny twist that she let you go. She is a refreshing breather from the stereotypical horror movie monster, which we have in the form of the father.

I am really intrigued with the worldbuilding too. The 100 years thing, the hint to the book. All that stuff is really cool. Not over explained, just enough to keep us wondering.

I find it interesting that they let you join the family if you do a good job as warden, or they let you join as their baby. They supposedly need to eat, if only once every so often. It’d make more sense to lock you up in both cases and eat you later, but I guess they’re lonely or something lol.

Main complaint is length, though it does the story justice it isn’t big enough in scope to be some 8/8 masterpiece. Which is fine. It is what it is and it does that as well as it can really.

The story is also really good at setting the tone. This kind of goes back to me saying that the writing is fantastic, because it is. I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes, but I almost never do unless there are a decent number so who knows.

Either way, this story is just amazing. It knows what it is and the story it wants to tell and the scope of that story, letting it focus on telling that story to the best of its ability. I wonder how this’d translate if you wrote a longer story game, I’d certainly be excited to find out.

General Recommendation: An enjoyable and diverting horror game.
Preview: Can you escape the strange family you find yourself entangled with on the other side of a mirror?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
A quick, fun game for dipping your toes into the horror genre. The writing does a good job with the fast pace and tenseness in this game, every part of its short length is well-used to create
Interestingly, the writing never seems to dwell on the horror elements, unlike many other works in the genre. The writing mentions the elements, but never quite explains them, and never has the narrator emotionally dwell on them. I find this to be an effective strategy in the horror genre, as it allows the reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks in a more personalized way. Others may prefer more evocative descriptions, I suspect it’s a matter of preference.
This is well written with some interesting concepts, but its length prevents it from really going into much detail. Though there are some intriguing hints surrounding them, the family is never really explained beyond the little information learned in the true ending, and their motivations and drive behind their actions are never addressed. The horror elements in this game are not especially new, and have been seen before in other games.
I would have been interested to see more explanation and exploration surrounding the “family”, and elements such as the mirror dimension and ritual book. Rather than exploring them in depth, those elements are used as surface elements to add to the atmosphere. But this works well for a game of this length and style: The atmosphere is more important than mystery, and these elements are well-used.
In conclusion: I don’t have much else to say on this game. It’s entertaining and enjoyable, but its length prevents it from using its concepts in a more deep and complex way. In all, an enjoyable adventure that successfully accomplishes what it set out to do.

Specific notes:
-The crazy lady probably has a good reason for not wanting you to descend.
-An effective opening sequence, introducing the narrator’s situation, and jumping straight into the action.
-You're taking a risk throwing the reader into a bad situation they reasonably could have avoided if given the opportunity, but it works in this game. The horror genre gets a bit of leniency in this respect, as without it there's not plot.
-Evil mirrors, cool, cool.
-The face-stealing monster seems cool and well imagined. This is true of the family as a whole.
-Seems odd that this family is allowing humans to guard their human prisoners.
-“After what happened to the baby…” Lol. I can imagine npthing good happened to the baby.
-I like that the true ending is harder to reach. That said, it really doesn’t make sense why which room you run into has such a major effect on the daughter’s decision of how to react. I do like that “what happened to the baby” is eventually revealed.

Grammar:
-Excellent.
Mastery of Language:
Good. The language works well for the tone being set by the story, and is easily read without distracting the reader. The only thing I would mention is that there are sometimes repeated words, or what seems like an overuse of adjectives. But that’s really more of a nitpick.

Branching:
Good. It’s a short game, but there’s several different endings that can be reached.

Player options/Fair choice:
Generally good.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I first got the ending where you try to escape and get locked in a room.

CONCLUSION: 5/8. A short, solid game.

A story about being a warden... Thank god I'm an architect instead. Wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.

I managed to get the true ending on my first playthrough. It seemed rather obvious actually, not sure if that'll be the others' experience. Then I went back to get the other ones.

I was disappointed for a second that the choice to accept (or not accept) the creature's offer to become the worst order on the site didn't really matter, as you become one anyway, but then I saw what you did. I like it.

I enjoyed this story a decent amount, despite how short it was. Usually I need a bit more "intro" to my dread. Slowly watching the main character get himself into a bad situation, except he doesn't realize it. This story instead starts off right with the action. Perhaps someone else prefers that approach instead? I'm sure Gryph will be right by to share his thoughts.

The descriptions of the "family" were just right for me. Enough to kinda figure out what they look like... yet not detailed enough to ruin the mystery of whatever minimal imagery I managed to create with my broken mind.

Would have loved a bit more to the "true" end. The other ones work just right ending where they are. Lets you wonder what horrors will happen to the protagonist.

Also, poor Henry :( He bravely sacrificed himself so I could live. I shall remember him forever (or for the next five minutes, more likely).

Jesus H. Christ, Sherb. I thought your other stories were scary, but this one takes the cake.


Initial impressions: normally in a Sherbet horror game, there’s some buildup. A solid, mundane foundation is established, and is slowly shaken up over the course of the game before being torn down utterly. Not here, though! From the first page, there is an established trope that still manages to have an immediate impact on the reader: our protagonist is stranded, goes to a nearby dwelling for help, and is confronted by something otherworldly. While the monster in question is implied to be of the supernatural, her mannerisms and behavior is not far from something that could potentially happen in reality, and that’s what makes it so frightening. It’s a fine line between the mundane and the fantastic, and Sherb walks it perfectly… until diving right over the side into the other realm. Which apparently, so does our protagonist.

At this point, you become the “warden.” While it would have been interesting to see what life would be like as a prisoner if you don’t accept the offer, I’m a bit glad after seeing what happens to the actual prisoners.

As for characters: as I mentioned before, the first character we encounter is in fact a monster. The messed up part? She’s the most normal one in the family, and her terrorizing you is weirdly her trying to save you.

Her family, on the other hand, is a solid ten on the creep factor, if a little unoriginal. A walking void and a Slenderman lookalike? Could’ve been a little more scarier. Sherb’s other works are Stephen King quality, but this read more like a creepypasta, albeit a well written one.

My first playthrough, I figured I’d play it safe and get the family ending. After hearing I would “need a new look” I decided fuck this family and on my second playthrough broke Henry out at the first opportunity.

Granted, he didn’t exactly inspire confidence. A history of failed jailbreaks who seems to be going loopy from lack of human interaction? But as the saying goes: in for a penny, in for a pound.

Considering he gets killed no matter what you do, I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. At the end of the day though, he was an adequate meat shield that slowed down the father (who at this point in the story had gotten a lot scarier once it was revealed he had a taste for human meat), so I figured I’d pour one out for him after I got the Hell out of there.

The next ending I got was the nursery ending. I mean, it was better than being a prisoner, but it made me wonder where the baby was.

Last but not least, the true ending. This one made little sense to me. It’s established throughout the rest of the story that this formless female is a cruel, inconsiderate, evil being. Now, she’s letting me go and apologizing seemingly out of the blue?

While the explanation of the mother making everyone monsters after her infant child passed somewhat makes sense, it doesn’t explain how she got locked out of the other side or why she was trying to stop me from going in.

While this was overall a very good story game, it’s clear that Sherbet’s early works lacked the polish and immersion that his later works produced flawlessly. Regardless, with a decent premise, good implementation of classic horror tropes, and excellent grammar, this story is a solid 5/8

This a great short story. The range of options works well with the pacing of the narrative. I really felt the tense atmosphere with how the player is desperate to get out of this nightmare world. It's a simple horror story, but still good. I found the true ending after getting all the others. Well done!

Thanks! It's well written, I couldn't find any mistakes. Grammarly at work?

Got the True ending. Not a bad story.

The mood is unique and memorable.

I really enjoyed this story. Nicely creepy without trying too hard. Definitely a recommended read.

Quickly established, quickly read, quickly enjoyed, not all that quickly forgotten. This is a horror game that hit the sweet spot on description and atmosphere.

The creatures are varied and far from overplayed. Instances of real horrific violence are given enough distance with tense atmosphere as a buffer that they never lose their potency.

It doesn't bother me in this story that the Protag is a blank canvas. Though, I do wish that the family were more utilized in any given playthrough. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a very short horror story.

I think spending more time in the opening to let the readers pick up on eerie details might partially alleviate both of my complaints. The first is that the world isn't defined enough, and the player lacks sufficient agency. I already touched on how the family deserves to be fledged out more, but so does the world at large.

Secondly, I think readers might be able to enjoy the tension this story manages even more should they act within it more purposefully. I do appreciate that the writing is concise, don't get me wrong. This story doesn't look to waste a moment of the readers time, but it might be able to afford the readers attention for a longer spell if there were only more to see.