Siren

Well, Sherbet got her petticoats all in a twist and wanted me to read this thing, so here I am. I hope she doesn’t sell me to a different plantation away from all my family and friend. Anyway, I just want to reiterate that I don’t actually like horror at all. Luckily, this was fairly light on the psychological and thriller aspects and played more like a monster movie. Imagine the Creature From The Black Lagoon meets Jaws with heavy supernatural elements. Really, it was just an entertaining story overall, which is what we aim for. Atta girl, Sherb!

So, I really like reading Sherbet’s prose. It’s to the point, yet doesn’t leave me without an image in my mind. Sherb’s writing tends to be a little lighter and easier to digest so while it might not have any profoundly poetic moments, it’s much less of a chore to read than some of our more sense writers.

And that’s not to say that there aren’t moving moments. On the path to kill the Siren, I loved the moment of Respite when Mr. Robinson and Travis seemed to connect for the first time. After all, the protag, Robinson, is willing to let Travis die in multiple choices in multiple paths before this. It’s earned, too due to the danger they find themselves in. Danger has a way of binding people together and after this moment, Robinson never considers sacrificing Travis. This was as emotionally moving as anything in a story if this size could reasonably hope to be.

I also loved Robinson’s character development. Even though it was a shorter story, it didn’t feel unearned, due to the strangeness of the circumstances. Robinson either becoming harder or softer feels satisfying. I found most, but not all of the paths, and I also like the characterization of the spirits and the goddess herself.

ULTRA SPOILERS AHEAD

Alright, I loved the secret ending. Time loops are my favorite, and the idea that every time you went through the story (or at least the last two) is canon was just too cool. That’s also why I refer to the Siren as a goddess, because without more information, we’re left to assume that she’s somehow causing it.

Anyway, phenomenal job Sherb. I actually liked it.

This story is the worst story I have ever read. It was terrible. Never have I read a story as bad as this one. DO NOT READ THIS STORY.

I don't know how Sherbet does it, but his stories keep getting worse. Every time I read one of them, I get chills. I stay awake at night fearing for my life. Right now I'm nowhere near any water, and it's broad daylight, but I have a terrible feeling that the Siren is watching me. When I was on my trip in Arizona, every single time I walked through the pier I thought the Siren could come grab my leg and yank me down into the water. I was so busy worrying about the Siren that I didn't even see the naked man peeing right into the water. That's how scared I was. I could've been scarred for life by the naked man but I'm too scarred by this horrible story. Just terrible.

I repeat, this is the worse story ever. DO NOT READ or else you'll share my fate (staying up at night scared for my life).

8/8

Very good story

Short and sweet!

Truly a compelling narrative. I loved the jaws vibes it gave off along with the supernatural horrors tied into it. The siren was a little different than I expected it to be. I thought it would follow Greek mythology more closely but what we ended up with fit the setting you described.

Overall, a fun read. Just long enough to be entertaining and the main characters were memorable. I also liked what you did the secret ending. Congrats on winning the contest!

Got the Legend Killer Ending. The story is very competently written, as are the action scenes. The aforementioned Siren was honestly pretty intimidating, and killing her for good was pretty cathartic!

Interesting story, well worth winning the contest.

Love the way this immediately establishes the very distinct personality of the protagonist, and then doesn't stop there but develops him further.

Even with the (many) deaths, each of these paths feels complete, nothing feels rushed. The various ways you struggle with the creature are all pretty intense. I'm a sucker for secret endings, and this one was particularly satisfying and did something interesting with the multi path format.

Also, it won the contest, so that's pretty cool.

There may be mild spoilers ahead.

Sherbet writes horror again, and successfully so. Siren felt alive as a story - The image of a dark, sleepy town painted skillfully in oil, the wily protagonist, lovable apprentice, and the unrelenting terror of the Siren. Each aspect felt vivid, and naturally fitted within the story.

Plotwise, the story was concise and the frequent bouts of struggle against the Siren keeps the reader invested until the final conflict. Branching is healthy with varied endings, with a secret to encourage readers to reread.

SPAG was excellent, I don't think there's much to say about that. Solid atmospheric writing overall.

An enjoyable, evocative story, 7/8 on my scale.