Hello there again. I'm gonna make a motivational thread now and probably procrastinate at the same time as I feel really lazy but have to create a story. I have 2 reasons to do this which is to fix my broken reputation and to be a better member on this site. Like, I gotta stop being a dramatist and complete at least 1 story so that it can make up for my 'accidental trolling' the drama I caused. Any feedback and/or tips on how to write a story and beat writer's block is really appreciated.
Unto the real motivational thread which I have no idea how to start!
Current stories I'm working on: Whispers of Hell (Fantasy, Short hiatus), The Secret War (Co-authoring for a new person on this site), Lights of Liberation (Edutainment, Historical, Supposedly an entry for the Jan. contest but I like the idea so much i'm gonna work on it), Wandering Souls (Undecided title, Modern adventure, Depression, Main priority).
Whispers of Hell
Current pages done: About 20 pages - ???. Current battles: 2? - ???.
Current Co-authors: @MinnieKing, @Seto (Proof-reader)
Short summary: A not so ordinary fairy named Rayen has been pulled into the underworld and she needs to get out. Her goal is to find her raven, Kal and escape the underworld. She will face all sorts of abominations in Hell and she has to fight (or spare) those enemies. However, there's something more in the underworld, a person that can't be saved no matter what. Will she fare?
This game includes some characters from Greek mythology like Hades and Persephone. Reading some Greek mythology is important to understand the motives of some characters.
Was in a short hiatus but I'm gonna post updates on this story now.
The Secret War (Co-author)
Current pages done: 4 - ???
Short summary of the story: In this interactive story you will play as normal girl. You will have to solve codes and cleverly move your way out of this dark mess you found yourself in. Will your choices save you? or end your life? (Plot not that clear. Author hasn't really developed a full plot yet but i'm helping her form one.)
Lots of linking problems. You can't sneak preview this but it is kinda playable. However, the first link leads to an error page. Hopefully this problem gets resolved in time...
The Lights of Liberation
Co-authors: None (Not accepting any as of this moment)
Amount of pages done: About 15
Short summary of the story:Oh no! You forgot to do your History project. You are given only 2 days to be able to complete the project. Maybe you should open your magical History book and experiece what happened to all the historians first hand to be able to do the project...
This was supposed to be an entry for the Jan. contest but it wasn't finished in time.
Currently second priority - third priority project.
Wandering Souls (Placeholder Title)
Current pages done: 2 (Just started) - at least 50.
Short summary of the story: You are living in a world that seems so bright on the outside but very dark on the inside. Life or time is pointless and simply doesn't matter anymore. You have to fight through your inner demons and hope that one day, those nightmares will stop. Maybe the only way to stop this temporarily or permanently is to...
The story will deal with some dark topics so if you're experiencing some of these 'topics' than it would be best not to play this story and ask for help.
This story projects an illustration of what would happen if you got some of these inner demons. Do note that this is just a presentation and some people are not so lucky and would get sucked into the dark abyss... forever
Main priority as of this moment as it's quite short and easy to write about. Also, I need more experience in writing.
I request someone to draw a picture about depression or sadness as I'm gonna use it in the description page. If anyone has the skills to do that then message me. Don't worry, you will be credited in the description page and it could be used to spend some time and improve your drawing skills.
Anyways, thanks for the time reading/skimming my attempt to fix my broken down reputation on this site. my motivational thread. It would be really hard to pull some of these stories off as I'm bad at writing but I'm gonna do my best in hopes of fixing my reputation. Hopefully I won't get banned as I want to aim being a better member of this site. Gonna do the update/ first page on the story 'Wandering Souls' later...
First, you may want to make a second post in reply to this, which has all of this content. The moment this (or any) message is posted in reply to your original, it'll be edit locked.
Secondly, there's a lovely parable I think is worthy of the occasion, I can't remember where I heard the original, so this is my reconstruction of it.
A Westerner goes to Japan
A Nihon-struck westerner went to Japan to learn the exotic ways of eastern swordfighting. The beauty of fighting with a Katana had appealed to him ever since he once caught an Akira Kurosawa movie on late night cable while he was channel surfing for an entirely different sort of riposte and parrying. The elegance of the combatants inspired him, their movements held a grace and beauty he felt long lost in his humdrum life, a tear escaped his eye and trickled down his chin as he was enamored by it all.
The Westerner knew what he wanted from life, and built up enough savings to see him through a year of lessons in Japan. He eagerly applied for and received a visa and took a year off from his job. On arriving at his dream country, he suffered a temporary period of heartbreak when he realized that the real Japan was nothing like the movies, but still soldiered on and joined a dojo with a renowned master.
The Westerner was a diligent student and eagerly abided his master's wisdom at every opportunity. With no other commitments to weigh him back in life, to burden his mortal coil, he dedicated himself fully to the way of the katana. His skill with the blade grew quickly, and after a month he was performing better than half of the students who had joined with him, and in this knowledge he was happy.
Unfortunately, the joy was short lived, after another couple of months his performance had slid down to the weakest ten students in his group. The westerner was confused and alarmed at this reversal of fortune, but nevertheless, being an optimist he didn't lose hope. He doubled down on his efforts, cut back on traveling the countryside, and spent every waking minute practicing his form. His master (Sensei) was supportive of his newfound determination, and would give pointers from time to time. Unfortunately, the student's form was stuck, and it wasn't improving. Another three months passed, and the westerner was the weakest of his class, bar none.
One day, after mind-numbing frustration and rage at his own impotence, the westerner approached his sensei, distraught about his abject failure to learn. He had the following exchange with his Sensei:
Sensei: (Who noticed the Westerner's shuffling arrival, turns and faces him, and begins in broken but comprehensible English) I have noticed you have trouble learning the way of sword, am I correct?
Westerner: (Distraught) Yes Sensei, I've tried everything! Everything! Please, Sensei, guide me!
Sensei: (Calmly, like a gentle father would talk to their own son) Alright young one. When you are practicing form on cliff by beach, do you notice gentle movement of the sea?
Westerner: (Enthusiastically) Yes Sensei! The gentle waves remind me of my place in the world, they remind me to flow like water!
Sensei: Good, and you notice the birds searching for food, flying above waves?
Westerner: (Even more eagerly, delighted at his Sensei's understanding and his own competence) Yes, I do! I notice their feathers moving elegantly as I practice my chops. Their effortless dives and determination remind me on the need to have determination!
Sensei: (Stroking his beard) Excellent, young one. Do you notice blades of grass stirring as you practice?
Westerner: (His delight can barely be contained, he speaks with unfettered glee) Absolutely Sensei! I feel one with the earth and heavens, I feel the motion of each moving blade, as the gentle wind blows! I can see the cherry blossoms in the distance, the sun in the sky, the glow of its rays bouncing off Mount Fuji, the... (at this point Sensei interrupts his reverie)
Sensei: (Adamant, and frothing with rage) You imbecile! No wonder you fail! You focus on everything except what's important!
Moral of the story: Stick to one thing at a time for best results
Lovely reconstruction of the story Stryker. If I may ask then, where did you hear of this certain story? It seems interesting. Also, I plan to work one thing at a time while on occasion, trying to update other storygames on a hiatus. I guess that's called prioritizing things. Right @StrykerL?
I've honestly forgotten, otherwise I'd have just posted the link to it instead of reconstructing it from memory. Anyway, that's not the important part here. All the best for knocking 'em out one at a time.
Motivation! ?I think you can finish your storygames. :) Just gotta stop procrastinating start writing.
I find it hard to start a story with a good opening. The story I'm writing about is Wandering Souls, a game about depression. So far, I wrote the first six paragraphs about the thoughts of the protagonist and are insanely long but to me, boring. Not sure if this hooks the readers...
I wish... there was a way to be able to end this once and for all. I want I to forget all the bad things that happened in the past. Each and every day, I wonder if this is what life has to offer. The constant emptiness apparent in my body, being barely able to function like a human being, lethargy taking over what's left of my energy. I just want all of these problems to end but... life isn't that clear and cut. I guess the only way to end this once and for all is to move on and keep pressing on. That's what I thought anyways, but i'm not sure if I will fare.
As these thoughts circle around me, I feel restless and tangled in fear. My muscles are aching and I am hyperventilating as I feel tingling down my spine. The world looks both far and near at the same time, a feeling that I can't describe. Sweat is running down my face, unaware of the uncertainties that lie ahead.
Everytime I wake up, despite sleeping properly, I still feel lethargic and frail. Even when I try my best to stand up and rise, I just collapse back unto my bed. Its like my mind is protecting me from the dangers that lie ahead or maybe its the guilt that I feel everyday. I'm not sure at all what causes this but today, I feel like I can break free from the hold of lethargy. I know that this is simply me fighting such a simple thing called drowsiness but if I manage to beat this than maybe I can feel in... control at least for a moment.
All of these surging emotions has really gotten to me. I can still function like a human being but its as if i'm trapped in a cage. I want to just spread my wings and soar through the sky but... one cannot do that without something to propel them. As most people know, it's impossible to propel a kite without wind. Actually... i've been living alone for a few years now and my social skills have dropped dangerously. About a year ago, I read an article that says social isolation can lower your life expectancy but that's probably false. I mean, i'm probably just an introvert and gain energy from staying indoors but deep inside, this is not true.
I try to look around me but all that I can make out in my drowsiness is a coat hanger, a rope, a butter knife, and... something that looks metallic and sharp. When I check it out, it appears to be a razor whom original purpose is to shave but something feels off. Why is there a razor next to me, I ponder in my mind. I feel a distant remembrance of the past as I try to recall what happened yesterday. No clear picture can be formed as I try to recall what happened, I think my mind is shielding me from the distress that happened yesterday.
As I keep my thoughts to myself, I feel like life has more to offer. Maybe I need to get out there to find myself and what I lost ever since that day. I try to rise up from what feels like ashes and I succeed. Such a simple task yet such a big accomplishment. However, that doesn't really help my constant emptiness at all, accomplishments like these don't help you much just like the letters in school. I remember constantly getting A's in school but the problem is, they feel really worthless. They are just red ink smuttered into a page and it doesn't even accurately represent your grade. Then the thought occurs in my mind, I must get up and do something in my life, no matter how big and small. This tiny amount of motivation may last me the day... or an action.
Stryker has proposed that I should write in fragments of a sentence as people with depression don't think complex thoughts like these. Not sure if I should do that so i'll ask some people to voice their opinions on the subject and ideas on how to improve. Yo, @mizal, @CrescentStar, @Seto, @BannerLord, @MinnieKing, @Orange. A little help here!
Anyways, he kinda redone my first paragraph with fragments of a sentence so I may be able to advance the plot further.
I wish. I wish I was able to end this, once and for all. I want to forget. All the bad from my past, all my mistakes, they haunt me. Each and every day.
I wonder if this is all that's left. If this is all life has to offer.
I feel it. I feel the pain in my mind as a pain in my heart, and it leaves me feeling... empty.
I don't feel like doing anything, waking up is a pain. Some days I don't even leave my bed.
I want it all to end. All my problems, go away. But I know, life isn't that cut and dry.
I guess the only way out is forward, like that kid Charlie when he was in Willy Wonka's factory.
I don't see a golden ticket waiting for me, though, life doesn't work like that when you're...
Fragments are really effective in expressing emotions. I like the fragmented one better. It's a bit typical content-wise though. The very opening is just... not hooking enough.
Fragments sound better.
Hmm... I've been brainstorming for these past few days and I thought of something. Would it be a good hook if a story starts with a poem than afterwards the story itself? It seems like a good hook to me at least. Also, if you suggest it than should I do Blank verse poetry or well some sort of sonnet that isn't about love. (Sounds weird, I know but i'm not any expert at poems at all so please bear with me.)
Wonder whose good at poetry... @Romulus, @ISentinelpenguinI
It kinda depends on the type of story you want to write if a poem is a good initial hook or not, in my opinion. If you're going for a more sentimental, or emotional type of story, I would argue that a poem would be a fitting alternative to a prose opening. Similarly, if you were writing a story about some high fantasy concept, or of course one where poets/artists play an important role, I'd say a poem would be a fitting hook.
Having said that, it really depends on how well your hook fits inside the broader structure of your story. A random poem might be nice, but if it doesn't share themes with your overall story, or feels out of place, it might confuse your reader instead.
This also applies to the form of poetry. Blank verse might generally be nice to write poetry without too many restraints, while sonnets might give a bit more traditional, old-timey flavour for example. However, if the contents of that poem (or your hook in general, if you decide on writing prose) don't fit very well, or if it feels forced, it might be worse than a regular hook.
So yeah, I'd say that a poem might be a nice hook, but it really depends very much on how you're writing it, and how it fits in with the rest of your story.
^Yes. I'm using the end stanzas of the prequel as a rough hook (it's not actually the exact "hook" because it's not part of the first few sentences, but it starts the story itself) in Secret Winter Story.