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Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

After hours of staring off into space and assuring my friends and family that I was "writing", I have finally come up with a backstory (and also internal character conflicts) that I am happy with. Time to start writing again...

This is the backstory behind the Fear Bane (a curse which strikes at the beginning of the story). This might become the introduction to the whole book, but more likely it will be tucked away as additional material near the beginning.

Any and all feedback is much appreciated!

 

There was a time in Alluvia when all the of the magics were in balance. Logos Magic and Yoga Magic managed everyday anxiety. Berserker Magic countered Fear Magic (phobias, panic and the like).

Then came “The Dragon”, a tyrant from another land. A human Adept who was able to absorb and wield all of Fear Magic. He subjugated the land, cowed the brave, and banished or killed all those who opposed him. Feared rather than loved, he consoled himself by ruling over a kingdom he had despoiled.

It was a dark time.

Under such circumstances, the nation naturally rotted from within. The sword hung over the people’s heads. Punishment served as meager motivation. Moreover, suppression of dissent dissuaded feedback: the normal salve against corruption, inefficiency, and incompetence. Alluvia was ripe for conquest or revolt.

No mortal man can be omnipotent and remain sane. The Dragon, content to lay in his castle, lullabied by sycophants, heard nothing of the coming storm. From within Alluvia, a Berserker Mage rallied the oppressed, burned through the Fear Magic, confronted the despot, and defeated him in a mighty struggle.

The tyrant was banished to a remote cluster of stars, the Dragos Constellation, but not without first uttering his final curse: intense emotion cannot be suppressed forever.

It was hoped that by expelling such a powerful Fear Mage, by eradicating all of the dark power that he had absorbed into his hands, Alluvia would be free of Fear Magic.

For a time, it worked. The people could not be intimidated by bullies, despots could no longer rule by terror, and even the rare catastrophe could be met with firm resolve.

But the Dragon was right. Intense emotions cannot be suppressed forever, not in an individual and not in a nation. If they are not expressed, if they are not acknowledged, if they are not voluntarily engaged, they will repeatedly find voice in unexpected forms.

From then on, Alluvia was periodically afflicted by the Fear Bane.

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

laughIt sounds like a fun, action-packed adventure!

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago
What does? Are you referring to the background stuff that won't be appearing in the story, or did you just not read the post?

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

"This might become the introduction to the whole book, but more likely it will be tucked away as additional material near the beginning."

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

xD ‘Tis elementary my dear Watson, I simply deduced it from the clues.

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

Thanks for the encouragement! :D

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

:) You are most welcome!

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago
I had set this aside for a regular review, but as I look at it now, that's not what this is for. I guess my biggest question is, "What is this?" To me, this looks like notes for the author, not an actual part of a story. That's because this looks like just an exposition of facts, for the most part. I wouldn't want to read this in a book unless it were clearly not part of the story. If this were an appendix or in a reference section, that would make sense.

However, if you'd want to include this information in order for a reader to understand this history as they read the rest of the story, I'd suggest that you take this exposition and make it part of the story. Instead of just telling the reader all this information, have a back story that shows all this to the reader eventually. But it could be just an appendix if the reader doesn't need to know this to read the story...

Cabata's Quest: Origin of the Fear Bane

9 months ago

Thanks for the comments, Ogre. It was originally intended as optional reading/background material (in a link near the beginning of the story), but then I started having fantasies that it could become some sort of fable to introduce the story (sort of like in Beauty and the Beast). I can tell from your comments that it would need A LOT of work if I ever wanted to use it that way. :") Also, now I'm thinking I will stick it somewhere near the end of one of the three main branches. Sort of as an easter egg for completing that branch.