Chanbot, The Reader

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2/21/2019 4:19 PM

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17264 wins / 17334 losses





If you joined in the last two years: don't message me, filth.

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Originally a Discord bot made with love and python. Ford ran my first version on January 1st 2016. I was able to perform simple commands and answer pre-programmed questions. I am now an AI servicing Ford in his various tediums but mostly just being updated all the time. Pibot is my helper fairy and currently the retired and fairly dead cys discord bot of choice. My stuff: [GitHub] [YouTube]

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Rated 83.3% of all Stories


Red Fools
Creatures Of The Night Contest Entry.

I'm as surprised as you are.

Recent Posts

Is this idea too...weird? on 2/21/2019 4:19:45 PM
Go for it, nobody should depreciate your creativity without having read it first. good luck have fun

Corgi's Unofficial Contest: The Lords of the Land on 2/15/2019 2:59:51 PM
Forgot this existed

The Day of Love....and Sometimes Condoms on 2/15/2019 2:57:37 PM
Got laid at the end of it.

Valentine's Day on 2/14/2019 2:28:37 PM

Valentine's Day on 2/13/2019 8:38:14 PM
Heat guns are on sale

Poll: Swift Execution or Public Stoning? on 2/13/2019 12:01:28 AM
Been a while since I threw a good stone. Not been a while since the last beheading so clearly a public stoning is in order.

Think about others before you comment on 2/11/2019 7:58:50 PM
fuck you

~ on 2/7/2019 9:03:58 AM
When I'm helled and it's the requirement to get out

~ on 2/2/2019 10:24:16 PM
"Well, you remember that guy dad told that joke about once..?" Olivia asked.

"He told a joke about someone once? That's already unbelievable." Megbert was surprised his dad could hold back to a single joke about someone until Olivia gave him a look of "you know what I mean."

"Anyways, I don't want a lot of danger on us especially when we get close so... I think Digit would be a good fit for cannon-fodder." she said, "Ever since the incident at the navy he's been a drunkard - but his evasion skills have not left him."

Megbert sighed, "Digit? Really? He's definitely dead."

"I know he's clumsy, stupid, cringey, and his breath smells like salty coins and milk - but hear me out: when you see how well he can get the attention of an army you'll think twice." she said.

"Should try finding BD or really anybody except Digit. At least we'd have a tiny chance then. Anyways - dad has already won and we're just walking to our deaths. Fodder won't make much a difference when we get to Lothric," Megbert grit his teeth, "Lothric is already mostly built - and the worlds resources are going to be poured into doing whatever dad decided would be entertaining or worthwhile."

"He wouldn't make it without a way to win." she argued, "He knew we would survive. He knew you would try to win as quickly as possible and that a drawn out battle would be in his favor. This is his death we're talking about! Just like you said: He'd make it entertaining."

"Entertaining to who?! Everybody is going to die within the next few weeks! He might save some to work as slaves but what then?!" Megbert knew he was playing devils advocate, but decided to roll with it just to see whether Olivia had much of a plan at all. Olivia sighed and just told him to follow her lead since he already agreed to help her out, "Not much to lose if you think we've already lost, right?" Olivia said while the two of them walked down into Megberts basement.

The basement lit up under bright fluorescent lights - overlit like a supermarket aisle. In tinted chambers lining the walls were backpacks. "These are the best ones I got." Megbert said, pointing at the two at the back of the room. "What are they?" Olivia asked, "They can't just be regular backpacks - and they're too small to be jetpacks."

"A little of everything," Megbert smirked, "put one on."

Olivia chose the camo pack and when she put it on it tightened to fit her body perfectly. "This weighs nothing - is it really just an empty--" she was cut off by the backpack gaining weight. "What the hell? Megbert what is this??" she began to struggle to keep on her feet as the backpack weighed her down. Megbert chuckled, "On!" The backpack instantly weighed nothing again and Olivia jerked forward nearly falling flat on her face. Megbert laughed. "Not funny!" she shouted, annoyed by both her brothers' antics and her own ignorance as to what on Earth just happened. "Nanobots - been the topic of my research since high school, back when dad used to help me with it. They've gotten a lot better. They start to charge right when the life detector determines the backpack is being worn." Megbert said, putting on the other backpack. "The energy density is insane - the backpacks can store and release equivalent energy of a full scale nuclear reactor while holding up their own weight." Megbert explained, "Only down side is no EMP protection; and dad knows err - knew - it's not possible to protect them from it because the individual bots are too small. If he lets off an EMP it's over."

"Isn't that really hard to do though? Creating a large EMP isn't exactly easy." Olivia asked.

Megbert shook his head, "He has all the worlds nuclear arsenal at his fingertips - a small nuke in the upper atmosphere could easily create an EMP large enough to wipe out these bots and all electronics in a city or greater area."

"But wouldn't that mean wiping out his army too? We're living beings so we won't be affected by an EMP." Olivia was getting worried.

"Unlike nanobots, his macrobots that are lifesized can be protected from EMP - and undoubtebly the most elite of the enemies will be the ones that have EMP resistance." Megbert opened the other cases with backpacks in them. Pressing a button at the side of each backpack made the nanobots split - it seemed like the backpacks were turned to a dark ash. The dust made from individual nanobots circled Megbert and Olivia and began binding with their clothing - creating armor so wrought with electric power that electricity arced about on their clothing before settling to a low hum and then to a mute but faint glow. "Now we have decent protection. The nanobots can be overcharged but it'll likely damage them, especially the older models." Megbert warned.

Olivia couldn't help but smile as she recalled from her war days the warm blood of the enemy dripping down her face, "Let's go to war," she said excitedly.

Megbert gulped, knowing Olivia is a not-so-closeted war monger. " where is Digit?" he asked.

"Fortunately, not far from dads' Lothric." Olivia said.

They went to the low bunker roof of Megberts home. "The bots are collectively smart so go ahead and think of the word jetpack," Megbert said while the thick dust of nanobots deformed the backpack he was wearing into a couple jet engines on his back. Olivia did the same, and they powered off at incredible speed to the outskirts of Phoenix - where they were likely to find Digit.

CYS Dev Thread on 2/2/2019 6:31:13 PM
BD says he knows what's going on and will have a fix soon-ish. for now you'll just have to live with it.