mizal, The Expert Scrivener

Member Since


Last Activity

4/25/2018 9:59 PM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

1 win / 6 losses


Lauded Sage of Avon



Sagely advice for the children: Here and here and all over this wonderful internet only a single Google search away, you may find explanations of correct grammar and punctuation usage in English. That and proper spelling (most writing programs and even the editor on the site itself helpfully include a spell checker!) are the bare minimum expected of anyone posting a story on the site. If you're not willing to do that much, you're not remotely serious about writing. And if you don't care about what you write, then we don't care to read it. So don't bother.

Rating and reviewing other people's stories is still an excellent use of your time however and a way to accumulate points and respect on the site even if you don't write. It may also teach you a thing or two about writing and especially writing and structuring CYOAs, which are a bit of a different beast than a standard story. Reading books, and thinking about them on the meta level in the sense of the the things the author chose to include and how they were introduced and why is also a good exercise in sharpening your skills. Reading bad books and being able to identify why they're bad, even better! Read books above your designated 'age level' or whatever as often as possible. That whole system was created by people who think you're stupid and want to keep you that way. You'll never get better at anything unless you push and challenge yourself.

Sagely advice for newb authors: Read the articles. Especially the ones on the advanced editor and scripting. A basic knowledge of variables and scripting will save you untold headaches in the future and streamline the whole process. Learn what $DEST is for and how to toggle a variable within link if nothing else.

A regular story is challenging enough if you're serious about doing it properly. Meanwhile a CYOA is an exponentially expanding story on steroids and crack. You MUST make plans ahead of time about what you're doing and where it's going or it will get away from you completely.

Always back up your work. If nothing else, make a copy of anything you write just before hitting the button to save it. Glitches have been known to happen and a page can time out if it sits too long.

Many of the veteran authors here do all their writing in a separate program that can be more easily backed up and paste it over to the site when they're finished. Your words often flow easier when you tackle one path at a time and then go back to add in branches, treating each major path like its own complete story with variations within it.

Although, there are many ways to structure a CYOA and you may found a different system than the one described above works best for you, one thing that's important for any story to be satisfying is that it's structured like a story.

Behold the sacred precepts of S T R U C T U R E in all their simple, straightforward glory:

Spelling it out (for the blindies and others) in order for a story to BE a story you need to start off by establishing your setting, important characters, and the conflict they'll be up against. Smaller obstacles leading up to the major one will need to be overcome, and the protagonist will usually try and fail to deal with whatever the main source of conflict is, or it will be revealed to be more powerful or dangerous than believed. (Remember, an easily won victory is a boring one.) This leads into the climax, the point of greatest suspense where the stakes are highest and the characters have everything to lose. Once THAT'S overcome, the story enters a period of falling action where the tension winds back down and the fallout of resolving the conflict plays out. Finally, the resolution or epilogue where the themes or larger lessons meant to be learned might be reflected back on, and everything is wrapped up leaving a sense of closure for the readers and/or characters.

Finally, a quote, since that is apparently a thing we do:

"Your reviews for both the published storygames and the works in both the creative corner and writing workshop have undeniably helped countless users. Your site presence is a boon for the site by acting like a fiery furnace. You'll roast the worthless rabble and refine what's left.

If you never would've discovered this odd yet charming corner of the web, then CYS would be missing a beneficial and integral part of its very identity." --WouldntItBeNice

Given by Mizal on 01/15/2018 - Finally the M is capitalized. Gifted by Zake, so the other won't be so lonely and retarded.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Thorough and consistent writing workshop contributions / excellent commenting. Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured Posting 7012 Forum Posts Given by BerkaZerka on 11/10/2017 - Forum and Site Contributions Not Unnoticed Given by EndMaster on 11/30/2017 - It's everything you've always wanted! Given by Will11 on 01/14/2018 - For Inseperable and your other great stories


Facts About the Planet and the Solar System
A compilation of some little known facts about the solar system, as well as the debunking of a few myths. In addition to the scientific explanations, there's a small story dramatizing it all. Hopefully young readers will find this fun as well as educational. :)

Featured Story Inseparable
It doesn't matter what they say...

Love is for the Birds
...and the squirrels. Sort of.

Written in six hours, for no other reason than to avoid consignment to the SHAME pit after my other Romance contest entry didn't want to cooperate.

Now You Gotta Deal With This S***

A tale told in verse. A text from your sister requesting a pick up from a party leads to a night of strangeness.

Inspired by Bucky's ballad contest. Though...I wouldn't call this a ballad. I'm not sure what I'd call it, actually, other than exceedingly stupid, and fun to write.

(Don't pay any attention to the scores, they're just for me to track which endings reviewers get.)

Read My Stories or Die!



Silver Horn, Silver Hooves
When the weather is fine, you've been coming to this grove to drink from the pool for centuries now. Today, you meet a stranger and hear a story that changes all that...

A fairy tale adventure.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: There's a heavily scripted scene that due to time constraints I didn't have the opportunity to thoroughly test. You'll know it when you see it. In addition to a save game link beforehand, I've provided the option to skip it altogether should you encounter problems. A PM describing those problems would also be greatly appreciated as I'll be revisiting this game once the crushing weight of December has passed.]

The Last Realm

Articles Written

CYS Forum Advice and Etiquette
A modernized guide to the forums. The path to internet popularity and happiness, and a few CYS specific do's and don'ts.

Recent Posts

DEUS VULT on 4/25/2018 9:32:35 AM
All of you keep talking, it will make my victory all the sweeter. That lower case m is going to be all over the featured page soon.

Making the editor for storygames more accessible f on 4/24/2018 8:37:49 PM
Doubt there's any chance of the editor getting any kind of overhaul anytime soon, we don't have anyone around able to work on it at present. Have you tried using the classic editor? It might be simpler to use, idk. @Mayana might have some tips for you otherwise, she's been pretty active doing proofreading and edits on other people's games so there's at least some way to navigate the advanced editor with a screen reader.

A very bad children's story on 4/24/2018 5:42:21 PM
I went looking for comparisons (okay mostly just looking for more gorey fairy tale deaths...) and A treasury of Slovenian folklore - 101 folk tales from Slovenia would appear to be a book that exists and it looks intriguing. But as there's only one single copy on Amazon (for $200!) it seems like it would be a real feat to find it.

A very bad children's story on 4/24/2018 5:32:55 PM
I was told this would suck so many times but it's actually kind of...sickeningly cute? You should have blank lines between the paragraphs, makes it easier on us handicapped folks with eyes, but this is short enough it's not an issue if viewed on a normal sized screen for adults. 'They renamed the pond to The Rainbow Pond, to show that every dog, no matter how it looked like, was welcome here.' // lol, gay!!! And also I assume you meant 'frog' there. Dart should probably have been driven from his home by an evil stepmother and there should have been a frog who was bigger and meaner than the rest who had his eyes plucked out by birds or was otherwise killed horrifically, this is just missing that little extra something to make it a real fairy tale. (And just as an aside, you should start including people getting their eyes stabbed or ripped out in all your school projects, it might be fun to worry your teachers.)

DEUS VULT on 4/24/2018 5:18:17 PM
Welcome!! Though you are young and green, your dedication and zeal for crushing the old and corrupt order and putting the heathen to flight is all that matters! So have no fear, we shall place you on the front line and you'll either be a battle scarred veteran or a beautiful saint in Heaven in no time!!!!

1.) If punctuation, spelling and grammar are terrible and there's like one paragraph per page, or it's otherwise unreadable gibberish, tell them to fuck off with that. You can usually tell by the first page if a story has had the minimum amount of effort put in to be worth your time. If not, just click rapidly until you find an ending and fudge a review based on the first and last page. This streamlines the process immensely.

2.) Are there actual choices that change events or outcomes or are you just railroaded to the ending the author wants? Do you get killed instantly in stupid ways at every turn or get a hurried two sentence ending because the author knew they needed to put in 'choices' but didn't feel like writing them out?

3.) Is the story just, fucking boring? Do the first half dozen choices all revolve around getting out of bed in the morning, brushing your teeth, and then eating either pancakes or cereal in the blandest way possible?

3.) Is there good imagery, realistic dialogue, are the characters interesting? Is the setting info clearly laid out and are any vital details made available no matter what path you choose? Are you given enough information to use logic in making at least semi-informed decisions? Is there a clear goal and a satisfying ending for the major path(s)? Even if they don't knock it out of the park on all of these (very few stories on the site do) the fact that you've made it to this higher level stuff in the last pack of questions at all means the story is probably decent enough to get a four....minus issues like lazy proof reading that might knock it down a bit.

Just talk about what you liked and what could use improvement. The standard you should be using is a real, physical book you can open up and read a story from. You may want to temper the tone of your review if the author is obviously either very young or very retarded, but the rating itself shouldn't reflect anything but the actual quality of the story.

If you get an angry or whiny PM from a ten year old, congratulations, you have achieved knighthood!

DEUS VULT on 4/24/2018 4:58:57 PM

Well yes that is the general problem around here lately. A handful of people are kicking ass in contests it's true but the rest of us have gotten lazy in all other areas of the site, and no one will have the drive to write for long without feedback.

To help with your motivation problem, I would suggest 1.) playing the music End posted above while 2.) doing an image search for '80s fantasy art'.

Changing your avatar to someone more excited about fighting for God and king would also help! It doesn't HAVE to be a traditional knight. Seto, behold, this could be the new you:

So cool??? <3!!!<3!!!<3!!!!!

DEUS VULT on 4/24/2018 1:20:30 PM
Yeah that and also, write some reviews if you can find time to work it in.

DEUS VULT on 4/24/2018 11:59:42 AM
Yes, Ford gets it, he did a good job. (Words that have never before been uttered here and likely never will be again.)

DEUS VULT on 4/24/2018 10:57:42 AM
It had pictures and everything, what more do you want???

Important Writing Question on 4/24/2018 12:18:39 AM
I mean it really depends on the audience too. You could write that story, slap it on a porn site, and have it be lauded as a masterpiece. Add some rudimentary game elements and make everyone a pansexual furry with three rows of DD tits and a 15 inch dong and watch the money roll in. (You get to count it all in Hell.)