Fleeing the Forest

There are probably spoilers below, so I’d suggest reading the storygame before this review.

I’m a bit biased here as I’ve read Watership Down, but I really did like this. I enjoyed it enough to read through all the endings of my own free will rather than being morally obligated to do so for a review, even.

The violence was vivid and other such adjectives. I particularly liked the owl ending, Hops’ gruesome end was both creative and articulate. There could have been a bit more focus on the pain itself rather than the mechanics of the violence occurring, describing the sensation of the ribcage being torn apart, but it was still pretty good and vaguely reminded me of the way End writes death endings. I do mean that as a compliment.

The animalistic description of excavators as yellow beasts with gaping mouths conveyed the terror of the rabbits and the cruelty of humanity in a very evocative way. The titans were done quite well overall, the way it was written in the rabbit perspective left room for the reader to engage with the text and figure out the references without being confusing. Humans as a whole were fleshed out as antagonists, considering the contrast between the construction workers and the child that adopted Fang, so good work on that.

On the characters:

Fang’s character development was a major strength of the story. Turning him from a immoral killer to a compassionate and caring character was done in a realistic manner throughout the journey, and his final state fit with his earlier characterization of enjoying the pleasures of life. Kudos to you on that, very much an improvement from Terrorist.

Didn’t really get a strong sense of personality from Hops, but that makes sense since he’s a reader stand-in.

Daisy and Flick felt a bit like caricatures on occasion. They both had depth outside of being the harlot rabbit and the gay rabbit, but it would have improved the story to flesh them out as much as Fang. They were well-written characters regardless and the interactions between them were amusing.

Benton was with the group all throughout the journey, but didn’t take any particularly important role or contribute all that much. I forgot he existed while writing this review, so make of that what you will. I wouldn’t say he was badly written, in any case.

Very enjoyable cast of characters overall, with realistic interactions and fun dynamics. I’d definitely read a sequel if you wrote one.

Some more branching would have been nice. Most choices either led to death or an immediate ending. The endings were varied and followed a logical path, so I did enjoy them, even if I wish there were more paths.

The storygame as a whole successfully explored a few important concepts rather than attempting to cover many, which is another improvement from Terrorist. The themes probably existed as well, but I'm very tired at the time of writing this review and do not want to do literary analysis, so I will not be elaborating on that statement.

Would’ve liked to see a bit more lore of this world as well. The actual Watership Down had a rabbit language and a whole mythology, this did not quite reach that same standard. Comparing your storygame to a published novel may be unfair of me though, so I’ll just say you did quite well for the word count and expertly fleshed out the social dynamics and organization of the colonies.

A few SPAG errors scattered throughout. Didn’t interfere with my rating whatsoever, and nothing a proofread wouldn’t fix.

I gave it a 6/8. More work on the characters and branching would have pushed it to a 7/8. I enjoyed it very much, and do hope to see more storygames from you.

Well done!

I have seen the movie adaptation of Watership Down, so I had some familiarity with this type of setting. The characters each had distinct voices that I could relate to as a reader. The conflict was very well paced and I could feel the tension of humans being a world-shaking threat to animals. I was surprised by where the story ventured as I wasn’t expecting Fang to be the sort of rabbit to empathize with a human, but it was a very good twist. That’s just one of the two endings.

For a short story, the two endings are decent, but one is clearly more developed than the other. There are options for the character to choose from, but there aren’t that many, most end in immediate death. Thankfully it’s not a huge issue as the prose is engaging, but as a player of a storygame I would have appreciated more development for the colony takeover route. It could have been interesting to see more there as I could feel the weight of choosing between fleeing and staying in the colony.

There are some small spelling and typography issues, but that can be taken care of fairly easily with an edit. This is a great short storygame that I would encourage others to play if they come across it!

I loved Watership Down, I read it as a child, so I was already halfway interested in this storygame when I realised it was inspired by that book.

I found it interesting how humans were referred to by the rabbits, as Titans. I also liked that, as the storygame went on, Fang was shown to have more depth to him than he originally appeared to have. His conflicts with Flick added more tension to the story and to the world, which was really good to see.

I found the Elders to be a little hard to understand. On the one hand, I could understand them not wanting to believe reports of Titans from strange rabbits...but refusing to believe two from their own colony just made no sense to me. I felt the same kind of frustration as Hops did, which is why I chose the option of leaving the colony.

While it's been a long time since I've read Watership Down, I did remember enough about it to appreciate that the feeling of this storygame was very similar to the book. I also really liked how, in the path I chose, Fang formed a connection with one of the Titan kits. Although switching perspectives was a little jarring and I would have liked the telling of that to be woven more seamlessly into the storygame, I was able to appreciate Fang's thoughts about protecting the rabbit kits, the future of their colony, and how he couldn't understand the Titan not treating his kit well. I also really liked that, by the end of the path I chose, Flick and Fang had reached a kind of understanding.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this storyline. It was engaging and entertaining and I enjoyed learning about the world and the characters. Thank you for sharing this!

This was a great read!

I really loved that there were multiple branching paths with their own stories to explore. I would absolutely recommend multiple playthroughs of this one. The characters are well written, and the dialogue of the rabbits does a good job of portraying the terror they feel for the titans.

Loved it!

Reading the first page, I was fearful I'd be subjected to a gay furry story. But it turns out this is more like Once Upon a Forest.

What I liked: The descriptions of the "Titans" from the rabbits' perspective was nicely done. I also liked that there was a longstanding culture which had ancient tales of humans ravaging the environment and killing rabbits. As absurd as the idea of sentient rabbits is inherently, this was done reasonably and believably.

What I didn't like: You just had to have the gay stud rabbit, didn't you? I imagine there is a furry version of this story lying unpublished on your profile. One where Fang and Flick find that their mutual animosity conceals a feverish mutual attraction.

In all seriousness, there weren't any major problems with this. This was nicely written and included a fleshed-out world. World building is something I very much enjoy in these storygames, and you did well with that here.

This isn't exactly the type of story I would normally read or gravitate to. And yes, I know Watership Down is a children's classic and beloved by countless people. But for me, this story is like WC but with rabbits and I find it hard to focus through the entire narrative.

That being said, I think this story is pretty well done. The characters are developed and seem to have their own voice, and the narrative works for what it is. Choices provide sufficient branching, and the dialogue is done nicely and there are minimal spelling and grammar issues (at least that I noticed).

So bonus points for having a slutty rabbit and some carnage in the story, but minus points for reminding me that WC was ever a thing.

Overall, well written contest entry. Good job.

I know this is my second review, but I explored another path. I really thought the idea of the rabbits rescuing a human kit was adorable. Seriously, great job, this story is truly great! Well done, you planned and wrote it really well.

Watership down was a treasured childhood classic for me and probably millions of people throughout the world. Richard Adams managed to humanize and create such amazing characters for Fiver and the rest of the gang in such a way that it hasn't really been done as well since. To take values such as trust, loyalty, friendship and love and teach young kids through anthromorphic rabbits was remarkable. The best part was Richard Adams didn't make it gimmicky. So when I saw your story was inspired by Watership Down, I was worried because telling a complex story through animal characters and having them be real and fleshed out is tough, and the story should do all that while still feeling fresh.

And you did it. It felt like I was 7 again and reading Watership down but with a new cast of characters and some of the themes slightly adultified. I also love how you told the story of the Titans through the rabbits' eyes, describing humans as these Titans could have been overdone and it could have failed, but you absolutely hit it out of the park. I genuinely felt like the excavators were these yellow beasts with bloodied maws from the corpses of rabbits, and the monsters felt almost Lovecraftian the way they were so large and incomprehensible to the rabbits.

I liked how you made sure to stay true to the character arcs of all the characters when you first described them, Hops is indecisive, keeps to himself doesn't really take a side, Daisy is kind and warm, Fang is aggressive but does have a sense of loyalty somewhat towards his friends(until he gets a taste of power, which I thought was really well done), and Flick was questioning and a bit more argumentative, he doesn't take disrespect from anyone.

It was a delightful cast of characters and I really hope you make another one. I also like how you provided links for the readers to learn more about the rabbits/setting. The world building was nicely done. Overall, well done. This story stays true to the spirit of Watership Down and I really enjoyed it.