A UFO at School

a School-Based by Ogre11

Commended by BerkaZerka on 9/21/2019 9:07:17 AM

Player Rating4.17/8

"#370 overall, #44 for 2015"
based on 216 ratings since 08/18/2015
played 3,732 times (finished 259)

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level2/8

"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.

There's a UFO at the school!

This story was written as a an attempt to try out a different way to write storygames. I tried to write the entire story from start to finish, then insert choices only after writing the story (see more here). The story is intentionally short: this is supposed to be a short story of the type you might read in a magazine: no matter which path you take, it should end up with a story about 800-1,200 words long. For those interested, there are eight different endings.

Player Comments

So, this was pretty good.

It was of course, a bit random, but it probably wouldn't be easy to write a super realistic story about a UFO showing up at school.

I enjoyed the writing style, and the characters were pretty well developed (which is impressive since the storygame had a short length.)

You managed to provide an interesting plot, a setting, characters with personality, and a main problem in just 800-1200 words. Again, very impressive.

The length may have been short in terms of words, but I was glad there were at least a few choices and a couple paragraphs on every page.

Some of the situations seemed very, uh, convenient and unrealistic. Sort of like they just happened for plot convenience and weren't really thought of very carefully before being written.

I did notice a few errors in tense, grammar, and spelling, but not anything too major. All in all, a good read if you're looking for something short and simple.

4/8.
-- MinnieKing on 7/13/2017 4:02:52 PM with a score of 0
Not necessarily a bad story, but your writing could be improved a bit more, as the reading didn't really transition smoothly with what the switching between tenses and redundancy. Overall it was okay for a fairly short story though. 4/8
-- FazzTheMan on 10/27/2015 11:40:30 PM with a score of 0
Another good story, enjoyable teen fiction and I like the idea of inserting choices into a story which makes each page read a little like a goosebumps chapter (though for some reason R.L. Stine would always end them on a cliff-hanger). The story length isn't very long but that's ok, it's a pretty classic style CYOA that will give people 5-10 minutes worth of good story reading :)
-- Will11 on 8/18/2015 7:24:35 PM with a score of 0
Kids liked the story, though they didn't make it very far.
-- JAMIE on 1/30/2020 9:23:39 PM with a score of 0
Very short and very out-of-this world (get it?). As I'm sure other people have said, a lot of the situations are very convenient for the characters. You got a good amount of substance from such a short story though, and there were no grammatical errors that I could find. The writing style fits the plot of the story very well.

Pretty good for how short it was. 5/8
-- Megumeme on 12/9/2019 10:08:16 PM with a score of 0
This was a very meh story. Not the best, though it certainly was not the worst. As with every story I review, I did read every ending. My thoughts on this story are hard to find, because with this story I’m very indifferent towards it. Most of the time I review things I’m either gushing with love towards it or despise it. At the very least I love the story, and point out the flaws in it. However here I don’t know what I think.

I love the style of branching. It resembles what I loved so much about love sick and trash. Every choice leads to a new path and there is no remerging. This style works for stories with no overarching plot. Just a premise, and a ton of things that happen within that premise.

Though there is not anything I disliked in the story, that goes both ways. There were many things I liked in the story, though there is nothing I love either.

This is a solid story that works for what it is. This is a story about a UFO at school. It is intently short, and that works here. While this story is not amazing, I did enjoy it. I was a nice short read, and sometimes that is all you need out of a story.

I want to rated this a 5 out of 8, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. In any case, this story is short enough that there is no reason not to go read all the paths right now. It is around 3k words, and about ten minutes of your time.

4 out of 8
-- MicroPen on 9/23/2019 9:43:04 PM with a score of 0
While simple, this was well written, and I see what was being attempted here--creating a true true structure for the choices so that each choice was meaningful and led to unique text for each, and therefore eventually to a unique ending informed by the choices before. Well, that's the way to do it--and obviously you *can't* really do that without going mad as the number of pages you have to write double and double.

And so this story thinks in terms of short, short story, which is the perfect match for very branchy fiction.

Naturally, I wanted more, but it works as it is. I feel like it needs some really colorful cartoony pictures like in the wholesome magazines I used to read as a kid.
-- Gower on 9/2/2019 9:27:16 PM with a score of 0
i liked this game
-- autumn on 8/2/2019 6:34:10 PM with a score of 0
Should've been longer.
-- Geoffrey on 7/14/2019 8:01:33 PM with a score of 0
I got abducted, 'cause I'm a nerd...Yay! ??
-- AMuggleNerd on 7/6/2019 10:15:14 AM with a score of 0
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