Player Rating2.13/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 41 ratings since
played times (finished )

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length1/8

"Make sure not to blink"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

In this story you, are the king. Your choices decide the fate of the land. Will you be the next savior or will you go down in infamy. This is my first story game, So any comments will be helpful. I plan to make a another game about this topic making this a series, which hopefully will be much longer. If anyone would like to step aboard for this project please message me. Yes, I know the game is short, that is because i worked on it ALONE with no help. Which is where you guys come in. Leave some comments and you might just see any ideas you have appear in the sequel.

Player Comments

Umm....... You could make it a little longer, no, way longer. Also you need to make it more exiting, after the first two pages, I didn't even bother to read the text. The last thing is that it doesn't make sense on one part. If you decrease the amount of tax farmers have to pay, why do they get angery with you? That's all for now
-- AthenaT on 6/6/2015 6:49:29 PM
What. The heck. Is that. Piece of.
-- TheBossWriter on 6/5/2015 3:38:56 PM
Extremely short, but not terrible.
-- QlhAah123 on 6/5/2015 1:27:04 AM
So short
-- iamlinkalot on 6/4/2015 10:55:31 PM
I have co-authors. But pretty much 99% of the storygame is done by myself. My co-authors are just beta-readers and advisors. You're simply too lazy.
-- Raven47 on 6/4/2015 11:12:51 AM
Dude, I worked on my story all alone, and it's only like 30 pages long (AKA the current average page count of a story plus 20). I'm trying to echo Kiel here, saying that most, if not all, of the longest stories were written by one person. I understand that it seems like a lot of work (Mainly because it is), and that you want to publish another story soon, but writing takes time, and rushing something out makes it complete and utter shit.
-- Chris113022 on 6/4/2015 12:42:33 AM
... Uh, dude? I hate to break this to you, but most of the writers on here work alone and produce much larger pieces of work. The first version of my first story was over 400 pages long. I wrote it alone, I didn't even get a beta-reader to help me clean it up. xD The second version had beta readers, but no co-authors (not one person helped me write a -word- of it,) and it was nearly a thousand pages.

I'll willingly admit that I'm kind of nuts, but there ... really isn't an excuse for posting something you acknowledge isn't enough. No one is forcing a deadline on you. This is too short in page count, in choices, and word count.
-- Kiel_Farren on 6/3/2015 8:23:24 PM
Wow, being King is pretty easy :) It's an ok start but there needs to be so much more here: I need to know about my neighbours, about my people, about religion, economy, weapon development, family (does my son want to kill me? do I have a wife? If not then my son probably won't get to be king anyway...) and exploration. Rather than take a defensive stance why can't I be the aggressor and annex some smaller nation to claim their natural resources of gold, chocolate, cake or whatever :)
Your writing is ok but I think you should redo this into a much longer and thorough story.
-- Will11 on 6/3/2015 8:07:12 PM
This was okay for someone who has worked by themselves the first time....I highly recommend pulling out this story as far as possible and adding more details, dialouge, and such. This was a good first attempt, and I am excited to see your next to check if you have changed anything.
-- At_Your_Throat on 6/3/2015 4:57:14 PM
I know you said it was short but, for my playthrough, I had two actual choices before the game was over. I don't even think that qualifies as proper demo length. The effort you put into this doesn't justify having a sequel, frankly, as you haven't even released a full game yet.
-- BluRedd on 6/3/2015 12:54:16 PM
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