Player Comments on Apocalypse Yesterday
I somehow managed to miss this one until pretty recently, as zombie apocalypses are not usually a topic I’m interested in. I do sometimes get an itch for it, however, and I search for related material in sites I know of, like this one. And since this story was featured and had pretty good reviews, I decided I might as well play it. As always, this will contain spoilers.
I feel that in this particular story characters and plot are equally important, but I will start by them anyway. In general, the characters are pretty developed and believable, which is in itself enough for the story to be good. It does fall short for some, though, for example the doctor in the Stadium. He’s believable and partially developed, but there’s nothing that makes him stand out as a person. I also feel there are some things off character, like the woman hiding under the grate at the silo like Robert de Niro to stab the main character several times from that position (and I don’t see how it would be possible to do that anyway). The balance, however, is remarkably positive, and that last bit is of course dependant on personal opinion.
About the main character, I felt that while at most times I could understand his motivations, there were other occasions in which I didn’t exactly get why he was doing some things. What I mean by this is that it would be good if there were more choices at some points, even if just dead ends. Also, the reveal about him being a harbinger is a little bit abrupt and confusing in some of the paths, although I guess that is partially the idea and I personally loved the whole concept. There were some paths where it was masterfully done, though, like one page in which it calls the Stadium people idiots for not knowing about it and not suspecting the meat the main character was carrying to be human. Since in this particular path it was the first mention to this, I found it quite amusing.
The plot is pretty open and changing, there is no defined objective other than to survive and find food. The initial propeller is a conversation with another survivor that points the main character towards a massive human community somewhere across the city, where he decides to go. While this sets the plot in motion and there are paths in which remains as the main objective throughout, the majority of paths vastly deviate from this and go trough a lot of this city’s places.
I think that, while the plot is very basic, every path is interesting and compelling no matter what you choose. The description is heavy, which is something I like, and the scenes are well crafted. Me being who I am I thought the “red” paths to be the most interesting, and it was satisfying to be able to find both of their endings, especially after dying several times, to get some revenge.
I do have some personal issues, though, that have nothing to do with the quality of this piece but I’ll write them here anyway. First of all, my favourite character was the Old Man, and I wish there was some sort of good ending for him, like getting his revenge or something like that. Secondly, I also wish you could make the main character brutally mangle and devour the two green harbingers and the centre of the city, though I guess the impotency about it is a necessary part of the plot. But they did piss me off.
Last but not least, some death endings were a bit obnoxious. They are all well written and described, of course, but I feel like the amount of times the main character was getting killed due to his stupidity to be kind of irritating. For example, there is an option in a bunker to charge all the guards and kill them. I assumed the main character would be met with a fusillade of fire, but no, he actually succeeds in killing most of them. Then he doesn’t check if they are dead and goes on to monologue like a moustache trimming villain before one of the downed guards shoots him dead. It is true that “red” harbingers are supposed to be kind of reckless and stupid, but the Old Man wasn’t, and I found these kinds of things in other paths anyway as well. It’s not much of a problem, but I would still prefer the deaths to be a little less based on the character’s stupidity (unless the choice in question was really, really stupid like telling the green harbingers you are going to help the Old Man or standing alone against a horde in the open).
Also, as I said before, I wish there were more choices at some points. For example, in the van with the young boy, there is no option to resist the hunger and let him live, which could have probably saved the main character from the blue harbingers in the big eastern settlement. I understand that it had a limited deadline and that it might be necessary for the plot, but I still don’t like it too much.
Also, the story in itself is not finished, as the author said, and since it is from two years ago I find it pretty certain that it never will be. However, all the places where it should have gone on (they are marked by the author) are actual endings, so there are not abrupt endings or cliff-hangers. It plays more as a first part in a series than an incomplete story, which makes that a non-issue.
It is important for a fictional story to follow its own set of predefined rules for it to be believable and plausible. I think this story does accomplish that most of the time. As I mentioned before, there are some things I consider to be out of character but that is mostly based on opinion and not a big problem anyway.
My biggest issue with this is the harbinger concept, actually. I mean, it’s one of the things that set this story apart and I personally like that the main character was one of them. However, let’s analyse it. This zombie apocalypse was caused by a virus which transmits through contact with bodily fluids. A vaccine was developed, but was highly inefficient and could have other effects. Then the virus went airborne, affecting even more people. All fine thus far. As a result of the mutations, the vaccines and genetic variability the virus affects people differently, transforming them into different types of zombies. This is also fine.
But what do the harbingers have to do with any of that? How would a virus create a creature with amazing physical capabilities and mind control abilities? It feels like a little bit too much especially considering how the human frame and specially the skull are already lacking space.
But most of all, how would a virus make said abilities dependant on the moral compass of said creature and even make that visible through different colour patterns. This would mean the virus has a notion of morality and did this on purpose, which is obviously impossible for a virus, and it would require altering things that are based on conscious, rational thought, which is possible to a certain degree but I doubt that something like this could ever be achieved.
And all that considered, why would the virus want to create them? While red harbingers do spread it and try to eliminate potential predators (normal humans), the rest actually protect them. Green and blue harbingers impair the propagation of the virus, diminishing its infectivity, and protect potential predators of the creatures created (and thus infected) by the virus. They are actually hampering it and preventing its expansion.
Unless that is they are created to ensure that humanity survives in order to always have new subjects to infect, but that is a very advanced thought and it wouldn’t even work anyway since harbingers are too powerful compared with other creatures. Maybe the objective is to preserve the creatures by making the harbingers redirect them away from humans, but that wouldn’t make any sense either due to some of the creatures being virtually unkillable thanks to their superior regenerative capabilities. Despite all this rant, though, this is not much of a problem if the reader doesn’t delve on that too much.
Lastly, a small detail which I like and that is missing in most places. Ballistics were mostly realistic as far as I can tell, piercing thorough what can be pierced and dealing the damage they deal in real life (none of that Hollywood bullshit of minigun projectiles ricocheting off car doors).
Writing, vocabulary and technical details:
The writing is good and the vocabulary is precise without having excessively complicated words, thus avoiding being pedantic. The main problem is that it is littered with typos, wrong words and punctuation errors. But to be completely honest, I really didn’t pay too much attention to them, and they weren’t terribly distracting to me (although some may differ). The layout is fine and easily comprehensible.
Another problem is that some pages are repeated in ways that don’t make sense. For example, when in battle with the Old Man against the green harbingers, if you choose to focus on the green harbingers and let the Old Man live, the page to which that choice leads to is identical to the last one except the last line, which changes it to make the main protagonist die. This is what I find most troubling about the story in this section.
While Apocalypse Yesterday has some issues, which I went on about in great detail before, I think it is a very entertaining story that keeps the quality throughout all the paths and until the end. The plot is good and manages to be original amongst a myriad of other zombie tales, the characters are mostly believable and it is realistic and gritty enough with a wide array of paths and options to take. I thus highly recommend it to anyone, even to those that don’t like the genre. The misspellings might put some off, though. I am a grammar nazi myself, but mostly for wrong word meanings or unreadable layouts, this doesn’t affect me as much as it could affect some other people.
on 8/23/2017 7:10:13 PM with a score of 0
I must admit that at first, I was going to leave a comment wishing for earlier character development, but by the end I changed my mind. The story gets better as it progresses, and early questions in the reader's mind are answered. Some very nice descriptions and solid combat. There are definitely a lot of grammatical/syntactical errors, but they rarely took away from my enjoyment. A strong effort.
on 3/1/2015 12:43:35 PM with a score of 0
Heavy on description but well written, enjoyable and also very well planned: a v strong entry. They've extended the deadline for these stories back to March so you could take this down and work on it or leave it up for Feedback? I explored it for about 30 minutes but didn't encounter any broken links and very few spelling errors, which are practically impossible to avoid anyway when writing so many words. I would give it 7/8 because while generally excellent in some places the writing looks a little rushed but this is the best story game I've seen published on here in quite some time :)
on 1/3/2015 5:09:23 AM with a score of 0
A very fun ride!
on 1/30/2021 4:03:58 PM with a score of 0
Great, all endings are surprising and interesting and never cease to interest. I've gotten three different endings now, and I've loved each of them. Props to the author.
-- Gabriel Moulden on 9/15/2020 1:05:54 AM with a score of 0
Fun enough to kill some time.
-- jcashrehab on 6/12/2020 3:06:02 PM with a score of 0
on 3/25/2020 9:33:33 PM with a score of 0
Loved the story! Quite different from the usual zombie stories, but in a great way. I played through a few different endings. It could use a little editing - one point in particular, as you're fighting alongside the old man and lose (your head is ripped off at the end of the page and should be done) it still gives u options to attack him or the others, you click an option and it repeat s the page you just read (word for word -again with ur head ripped off, then ends). Also lots of typos and errors, but I think I noticed you were in a rush to finish so no biggie - the great plot overshadows things like that that would normally bug me, just pulls you in and I find the way the main character thinks makes sense and is easy to follow (sometimes I find the main character hard to relate to or their decisions don't make sense to me - but in this case I didn't have that issue, it was very believable). Thanks for the great read!
-- Meriena on 2/22/2020 1:59:50 PM with a score of 0
-- big tater 69 on 2/3/2020 1:42:21 PM with a score of 0
Now,this is an adventure set in the Apocalypse I can sink my teeth in! Good enough to keep coming back for more.
on 1/23/2020 10:52:58 AM with a score of 0
Yay: Solid, love how the author doesn't flat out tell you "you are this", instead hints cleverly throughout the beginning. Liked the "Mutant infectees" better than just plain zombineos. The post-apocalypse setting is communicated clearly, and I liked the generally low-occupation style of the setting. The protagonist's characteristics are portrayed well, and his thought processes are interwoven buetifully with the narrative. The character's capabilities are leveled, no unexplained, irratating degradation of the character's limitations (Apparently a common problem).
Nay: Linear, especially at the begining. Author produced valid excuse, still only 3-4 (estimated) proper paths, rest is "Die monster". Didn't like much the "Superhumans Everywhere" route the story went, not my 'cup of non-human. Could've worked on details, i.e weather, enemy's visage, possibility of improving equippment, and general world building.
Boo: The author seemed to create Apocalypse Yesterday within confines of interest, so is more of a hobby project than any die-hard author. (It's okay by me, but if you are going to read/play, don't expect to be writing fan-fics fueled by the inspired exaltation of a divine unity of all that is holy, its a good session, I like it.)
-- Pancake the Eviscerator on 12/17/2019 9:47:49 PM with a score of 0
IT WAS GOOD BUT I DIED A LOT.
-- nick the dick on 12/3/2019 5:39:43 PM with a score of 0
Its a really good game quite a lot of choices which means better gameplay and more replay ability So I rate it a 8.5 Out of 10 It is a really really good game so you should play it. Its really good and theres so many endings. So play this game it is amazing
on 11/21/2019 9:45:56 AM with a score of 0
I had a crap ton of fun playing this
-- Gary on 11/14/2019 8:46:07 AM with a score of 0
badly goodly coolly dumly fun
on 10/29/2019 7:51:47 PM with a score of 0
I thought it was great at the beginning, but it got very confusing towards the middle of the story. Overall, a pretty good story, I love apocalyptic stories so it was fun.
on 10/22/2019 1:28:11 AM with a score of 0
it was a good story
-- ayden on 10/9/2019 4:48:59 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this one. In fact, it's my favourite story game so far. I liked the twist.
on 10/3/2019 2:28:24 PM with a score of 0
what the fuck
on 9/13/2019 7:41:34 AM with a score of 0
The story is so good mostly because there is an option to be a good boy which is what I would do if I was the character over all one of the best story’s out there. Props to the author.
-- Mc not my name on 8/30/2019 11:25:54 AM with a score of 0
I actually really enjoyed the story. It kept me reading and reading and I'm sad it ended so soon. I hope it will be added on to in the near future.
on 8/16/2019 1:38:45 AM with a score of 0
on 7/6/2019 10:01:41 AM with a score of 0
I relay liked the whole story I would love to see a movie about this story or an indi game of some sort Keep going.
on 6/14/2019 12:11:45 AM with a score of 0
Very nice and well put together. i can tell that a lot of effort was put into this and it was a great experience
-- Emerson on 5/30/2019 10:14:48 AM with a score of 0
Some of the wording is messed up, as words are repeated and misspelled. But its a good story in general. Died a little quickly but will be playing again
on 5/5/2019 2:37:39 AM with a score of 0
Very good game few errors thou
on 3/21/2019 3:30:38 PM with a score of 0
Feels incomplete but it kept my attention the whole time,when the game gets bigger i could easily see a 7 or 8 and as is now its still pretty cool
on 3/16/2019 12:59:30 AM with a score of 0
Blue ending, liked the writing but now i want to replay and find the other endings. that to me is what i look for in a story, replayability and having fun finding the different endings. would recommend playing
-- jimplays on 3/13/2019 1:34:53 PM with a score of 0
It's pretty good, hope that it will more arcs tho
-- Kuro on 3/5/2019 2:03:22 PM with a score of 0
Quite some twist...
on 2/20/2019 3:44:47 AM with a score of 0
It is very great and I can't wait for the update if there is any.
on 2/7/2019 11:22:53 AM with a score of 0
Had an option or two I wish had been taken a little bit further. Was an interesting take on zombies evolving and becoming more dangerous.
on 2/6/2019 11:28:59 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed this game quite a bit, there was a tasty little plot twist part way through that will keep casual readers interested. Great game.
on 1/17/2019 7:22:12 AM with a score of 0
It was decent
-- Jordan on 12/25/2018 1:28:31 AM with a score of 0
on 11/4/2018 1:54:59 AM with a score of 0
on 9/21/2018 10:27:49 AM with a score of 0
-- reed on 8/31/2018 7:47:03 PM with a score of 0
I am a blue harbinger :)
Well written, next to no errors and above all fun!
on 8/6/2018 9:00:26 AM with a score of 0
YES. DIS! DIS IS THE TRUE GOD! DIS IS WHAT HAS CLEANSED ME OF ALL MY FAILED STORIES! 10/10, would sacrifice 12 hours of my life to fully read again!
(Seriously though, great story mate! It was a good length, Great plot twist (idk if it was really a plot twist, but it surprised me to find out that I was a [BEEP])
-- Mac 'n' Cheese on 6/15/2018 5:07:55 AM with a score of 0
This was really good. Should have been ready for the Old Man. No one is that happy in an apocalypse... lol
-- Anna on 6/12/2018 2:14:08 PM with a score of 0
Very well put together, can't wait to see what's done with it.
-- Patrick Williams on 5/19/2018 10:02:03 PM with a score of 0
It's pretty good, but of course like lots of other stories out there, there are several miss typo's. Luckily that was the only problem that I had encountered throughout this. Other wise, this is definitely worth a read.
on 4/29/2018 5:12:23 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed the game, harbingers were a nice touch. Too bad the endings weren't developed though and some of the spelling mistames were distracting ("your"/"you're" quite often). Anyway, still earns a solid 6
-- staabalo on 4/27/2018 11:02:53 AM with a score of 0
lot of fun to play I haven't played through every outcome but I really like the fact that you have the decision to be good or evil or just self serving feels like there is a lot of freedom to choose your own outcome to the story, my only criticism is that I feel like the endings (the ones I experienced) could have maybe done with a bit more detail of what happens next just to make them a little more conclusive but a very interesting story :)
on 4/16/2018 11:21:34 AM with a score of 0
Would like a larger sequel to the story, by continuing with the best ending, loved it.
on 4/3/2018 1:39:38 PM with a score of 0
This definitely gives me ideas for a book series...mind if I take the idea?
on 3/22/2018 11:45:51 PM with a score of 0
Good story, interesting mix of apocalyptica and supernatural themes.
on 2/17/2018 9:51:50 PM with a score of 0
My review is simple. 2 thumbs up
on 1/30/2018 9:34:16 PM with a score of 0
Impressive, I have thoroughly enjoyed your story, I truly enjoyed your work and would love to read more, after all zombie apocalypse survival games are my favorite.
-- ShaneKashtan on 1/28/2018 11:38:24 PM with a score of 0
Very great story lines and plot options! Look forward to the new expansion as I have finished all of the current possible ending I guess :)
-- Jonathan Davy on 1/21/2018 2:07:31 AM with a score of 0
I played it twice and got a significantly different ending, my only complaint is I wish there were more choices and that the author wouldve finished it.
on 1/1/2018 8:40:25 PM with a score of 0
Great story line but not many choices. Also, it looks like this game was created some time ago, which makes me wonder if the author will come back and fix the typos and expand the game?
on 1/1/2018 1:06:12 PM with a score of 0
"Relaxing in the New City
Life is pretty good after that and the Lords can teach you a lot, the entertainment is good too!"
Uh... seriously, if red and blue is all one can see what is that different from black and white and the ultimate grey? ;)
on 12/17/2017 12:56:45 AM with a score of 0
I absolutely loved this, and it so really unexpected when I found out that you (or I, I guess) is a harbringer.
on 12/6/2017 10:18:23 AM with a score of 0
Yeet,that was fun
on 11/7/2017 2:52:19 PM with a score of 0
Very good, very well written, and truly makes you think. I didn't really like the idea of being the ruthless killer my first time, so I ended the the romance blue... I'm a guy so I'm meh about romance, but I'd rather marry someone that eat them, so thanks for the option! Anyway, good job, keep writing.
-- RandomRedHead on 11/3/2017 12:27:00 PM with a score of 0
It is a really good story
-- Ismaels on 11/2/2017 2:12:08 PM with a score of 0
In the beginning there were some grammatical and spelling errors, but the story gets better as you go along. I enjoyed reading this.
on 10/11/2017 5:51:19 PM with a score of 0
I'm a blue harbinger fuckers!
-- Will on 9/9/2017 11:34:58 AM with a score of 0
The story was great. I like where you're going with it. You could've added just a tad more detail about the character being a Harbringer. There were a lot of grammatical errors, but that doesn't make it a bad story. 7/10 over all
on 8/31/2017 6:30:22 PM with a score of 0
this is legit the best choose your story I have ever played. the only thing is a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but who cares! the character development is great, and there is an unexpected surprise, which I love. ;) PLZ MAKE MORE!!!
on 8/23/2017 7:28:56 PM with a score of 0
pretty good had a lot of fun reading it
on 6/25/2017 4:18:58 PM with a score of 0
Bloody excellent as always. Finish it!
on 6/21/2017 5:44:28 AM with a score of 0
Obviously, a lot of thought went into this. Grammar could be improved, but the story was interesting, and kept me reading.
-- Name on 5/29/2017 3:32:52 PM with a score of 0
" You roll quickly, about to get to your feet when a massive dong lands on top of you, pinning you down as others start literally tearing you apart."
Finding this typo was well worth the price of dying lol. Great story and enjoyed myself thoroughly but I wish all paths had been completed and not cut short due to meeting a deadline.
-- Wings Fan 85 on 5/21/2017 7:30:55 AM with a score of 0
Pretty great overall and nice and long
-- Albert on 5/15/2017 5:53:45 AM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this game, I read a few of these at work and I must admit the twist threw me.. I got the blue ending and unfortunately don't have time to get the other colours, can anyone explain them to me or is it a Mass effect style colour choice
on 5/10/2017 2:22:23 PM with a score of 0
It was fine... I got a good ending. Maybe it should be rated less hard than it is-more like a six.
on 4/28/2017 10:41:21 AM with a score of 0
on 4/27/2017 5:54:31 PM with a score of 0
Everything was well written. Found more than a few errors in spelling and grammar, but the lengthy details and great pacing made up for them.
EndMaster fan? Wow.
Not much to say, worth my cents. 6/8.
on 2/17/2017 8:34:57 PM with a score of 0
pretty good, grammar errors galore but an overall good story. 6\10
on 2/4/2017 1:29:36 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely amazing story! Far from any other zombie apocalypses game on this site! Minimalistic grammatical errors and a compelling story line provide a truly immersive experience 10/10.
on 11/17/2016 3:14:37 PM with a score of 0
Wonderful story! I really liked my ending living in the city as a harbringer with bz. I was really in suspense at certain moments and absolutely no plot holes! Wonderfully executed!
-- Michael on 10/13/2016 11:29:14 AM with a score of 0
Loved it! got the evil ending first, then played to the neutral/good ending, and finally got the best/good ending! i really enjoyed every minute of this story and would love to see it finished. There were some spelling and grammar issues but nothing that took me out of the story.
on 9/29/2016 12:29:16 PM with a score of 0
This was great!
Found a few grammar mistakes but it was mostly "once" instead of "ones" sort of grammar mistakes.
It was very entertaining :)
on 6/19/2016 10:00:16 AM with a score of 0
its a very good game, i will play it again!
on 4/19/2016 7:29:10 AM with a score of 0
love it the types and keep it up :)
on 1/19/2016 11:56:49 AM with a score of 0
I have played it out to all endings now, and I must say I am suitably impressed with your depth of story and skill in spinning such a grand tale. There's just enough emotion. I do hope you continue this saga. Please :)
on 1/7/2016 1:14:54 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic. Well written and thoughtful. I certainly did not see the twist coming! A really great change from the typical Zombie Survival story. Good setting of the mood - and creepy enough to keep you feeling uneasy. I really enjoyed - and look forward to more of your work. Thanks!
on 1/6/2016 6:40:31 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed my first play through of the story, defenently one of the better stories I've read. I really enjoyed it.
on 11/28/2015 1:09:06 PM with a score of 0
Wasn't bad, but I think it could've been better. All the different zombie types weren't really needed, you could've stuck with three or so. But regardless, decent game. 5/8
on 11/3/2015 10:15:46 PM with a score of 0
I love it. The only downside is the dialogue, and I could barely read it. Put some commas, please. Anyway, GREAT GAME!!!! :D
-- Archer Westbrook on 9/29/2015 12:50:38 AM with a score of 0
on 9/16/2015 2:16:11 PM with a score of 0
still the best..and hope for the update soon
on 8/23/2015 8:57:58 AM with a score of 0
on 7/31/2015 12:43:19 PM with a score of 0
I like it, but beginning was hard too survive.
-- Simon on 7/3/2015 5:22:27 PM with a score of 0
So, to answer many of the comments on here.
Yes, I am working on finishing this properly! Sadly though my life is rediculously busy right now and I barely have time to get on my IPad never ing type at a computer so it will be some time before I take it down and repost with the new arcs and extensions.
You CAN go full red and survive to the red ending, it's just very tricky to find, just like getting to the eastern colony, you can do it but you have to make ALL the right choices in the right order.
I HATE my spelling, grammar and syntax in this. I really do, I just hope I get enough time to fix it.
Mainly Thankyou all for commenting and pointing things out, it's how I can improve!
on 5/25/2015 11:41:56 PM with a score of 0
I died on purpose just to say i love this game and cant wait til its finished. One of my personal favorites
on 5/25/2015 2:50:54 PM with a score of 0
will there be a second one
on 5/20/2015 7:24:45 PM with a score of 0
Really fun, this game has great potential, can't wait to see it complete.
on 5/13/2015 10:17:42 PM with a score of 0
Kind of sad I couldn't be full red. D: Other than that loved the Guardian ending.
-- JackDaniels on 5/10/2015 7:41:20 PM with a score of 0
a fun and challenging game. would be nice to reach the city n the east
on 4/27/2015 6:17:43 AM with a score of 0
8 upon 8..one of my favorite starting today..though u have to watch the spelling but its understandable as u are trying to follow the timeline..congrats for getting 3rd place in the competition and hope u can complete your work..then I hope u keep making more 8 rate stories or maybe even make a sequel for this story(Apocalypse Yesterday)all the best~~
on 4/15/2015 2:22:10 PM with a score of 0
That was really fun!
on 4/6/2015 9:25:30 AM with a score of 0
You inspired my pet turtle Kenny to be a blue harbinger
on 3/26/2015 2:09:20 PM with a score of 0
Awesome! Loved the new dimension your story brought to zombie survival.
-- Pete Rock on 3/19/2015 1:14:49 AM with a score of 0
Definitely had to follow the green harbingers.
on 3/4/2015 4:57:45 AM with a score of 0
Once again, random disjointed thoughts:
This is the first one that really brought the "post-apocalyptic" vibe right from the start.
Do they just not have apostrophes in Canada? XD
Found a couple of "fake" choices. (options that lead to a paragraph or two of exposition but then make you take the other option.)
You're good at showing the essence of a character or scene without needing a lengthy description.
on 3/3/2015 1:38:42 PM with a score of 0
Stupid Harbingers. lol Lots of great writing here. Very pleased to see such an effort. I will have to go back and read other paths. I, like a few before, noticed a few spelling/grammar problems. But if that's the worst problem here, you are doing great. Very good effort here.
on 3/2/2015 11:08:50 AM with a score of 0
I'm half asleep, so this review might be all over the place:
There were a few errors I noticed right off the bat, like missing punctuation, you used "your" instead of "you're" a lot, and there were some misspelled words. I really like the fact that you have multiple types of zombies in this as that's something I rarely see outside of the occasional creative video game and I enjoy variations like that.
I kind of wish there was more to distinguish this story from the average 'zombie apocalypse' world, though, because it's such an incredibly common concept these days. That's not to say that I didn't like the writing on its own merit, though, I did. You did well. And it's also not to say that I don't like being zombies combined with the apocalypse genre, I mean, my game definitely has a nod to that with the 'vile-kin.'
Over all, good job, man.
on 3/1/2015 3:40:00 AM with a score of 0
Ha ha, damn you forge. You actually made me worry with that last bit. XD
on 2/28/2015 9:04:56 PM with a score of 0
on 2/28/2015 3:42:52 PM with a score of 0
I got the best ending.
on 1/3/2015 9:32:19 PM with a score of 0
Not too shabby :) 6/8
on 1/3/2015 5:40:16 AM with a score of 0
This storygame is great. I like it.
on 1/3/2015 5:20:51 AM with a score of 0
Yeh, I hate myself for publishing it in this state
on 1/3/2015 2:27:19 AM with a score of 0