Arakhan's Vengeance

Player Rating6.12/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 16 ratings since 02/21/2019
played 280 times (finished 6)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length7/8

"It keeps going and going"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

You are Arakhan, the Captain of the Guard that watches over Lyestra, a small forest village. You return from patrol one day to see that your entire village has been burned to the ground by an unknown villain. Take up your sword, find the evildoer responsible, and show him the true meaning of...your Vengeance.

Player Comments

This was a pleasant read; a well-thought out background but with a simple enough storyline to follow. As a matter of fact, the style of this CYOA was more game-like than story-like, with puzzles, little easter eggs and a certain lighthearted tone.

The technical side of your writing was alright; you made very few grammar mistakes and the pace of the story held out well, going straight to the point with very few descriptions. The dialogue was nothing extraordinary but it wasn't bad either. Just a really minor aesthetic bug: the page of Arakhan's return to town appears to be all highlighted in pink if you come back alone from the forest.
One thing I enjoyed about this storygame in particular was its high replayability,and not in the common sense of choosing another path but in that to solve a puzzle or get a certain ending you have to use info from previous gameplays (e.g. the potion to remember the golden box combination). It really makes for an explorable game experience, within its own narrow story borders of course.

The storyline itself was a bit typical although well structured. As Will said, Arakhan wasn't the best guard captain and Larcassio had some caricature-cartoon villain moments, but I didn't struggle to suspend my disbelief for that. I particularly liked the lore, characters and settings in the game; the background, in short. The references to your previous game and to LOTR in the library were funny little snippets, and so were the one-liners spread here and there throughout the story. The tone of the narrative itself, as I already mentioned, was pretty lighthearted and knew how to draw from established character types and situations to quickly convey the story. As a former fencer I also really appreciated the duel with Larcassio, even though I admittedly never used a couple of those parries in my life (it depends on the weapon I guess). It's rare to see real fencing terminology implemented in the combat system of a storygame.

I must say that when I first played through I was a little disappointed by the ending, which left much undiscovered. Then of course I found out the rest when I played again; as I said that's something that I actually liked about this game and it's probably also more realistic. Just keep in mind that people who only bother to play once may not be completely satisfied by what they get, given the imbalance in info acquired between two of the endings and the other three.

Another thing that I feel like pointing out is that the adventure looks a little short-lived compared to the world you have created. The actions and puzzles you can go through help expand the game time, but it gave me the impression of being an adventure chapter of a possibly bigger saga (not necessarily with these same characters). Not to take anything away from your story, I much prefer a well-written medium-lenght adventure than a giant epic that spiralled away from its author; it's just that I think this world you've created has some potential and I wouldn't mind reading another story set in it.

To sum it up, good storygame with a nice paths and puzzle dynamic, not overachieving but well made. I hope to read something else by you in the future.
-- undr on 2/19/2019 4:24:56 PM
I really enjoyed that.

The story was well-written and interesting with almost no errors, it was interesting and funny and had some nice variety in the endings. Having said that I don't think Arakhan is very good at his job. Warning: Contains Spoiler Alerts

First he goes wandering off and in his absence the village he is supposed to be protecting is destroyed and the people massacre. Then he splits up his men, sending each of them alone into really dangerous-sounding places. Next he lets the first survivor he encounters (Adonis) go wandering off unprotected on his own even though there is a large army of murderous goblins in the area. Then he manages to lose the key he needs to get out of the village (even though both the goblins and Arakhan himself seemed to have no problem getting into the village, Arakhan having gotten in literally five minutes before), it later transpires he left it with his local barman, presumably after a night of heavy drinking (he also gambles with children in a bar, showing a more relaxed attitude than our modern day law enforcement members). Even his own people don't seem overly-inspired, Joad cheerfully refers to him as "useless and stupid" and "an idiot".

I only point these things out not as a criticism but because they amused me, in fact the whole story was very entertaining, I found the card games and the fencing fight with Larcassion extremely good and the "safety inspection of a siege tower" story hilarious (I also enjoyed the barman's description of the massacre of the majority of his customers as "overkill to the most extreme degree". The characters were particularly well-presented and interesting enough that they could appear in a sequel.

While I have a few minor quibbles (would Larcassion really have paused for a riddling competition at such an inappropriate time?) I found this story very enjoyable and well-written, albeit a little generic in places so I gave it 7/8. I would love to see a sequel or another story with the same sort of setting and characters :)
-- Will11 on 2/19/2019 12:31:21 AM
I enjoyed this game. I think you did a very good job with foreshadowing, specifically in the library. The potion puzzle was well thought out, not too difficult to be enjoyable or too easy to be trivial. Some parts were only really winnable if you went back a lot, like the duel with the goblin commander, though even that wasn't random and so was somewhat learnable. I think if there had been more duels I would've been better the second time. The part where you pressed symbols to get into the library was completely random though, which I didn't care for. Overall I think this is a good story, and I enjoyed reading it.
-- Zealot on 2/19/2019 10:58:37 AM
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