Extinction of the Neanderthals
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 184 times (finished 35)
"no possible way to lose"
"A nice jog down the driveway"
"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.
Extinction of the Neanderthals
I found the storygame creative, and I liked how it was based on theories of evolution. I'll be honest, the writing wasn't exactly 10/10, but it was fleshed out well enough in my opinion. :)
There wasn't exactly a lot of detail, but there was enough for me to enjoy it. Since this is based on theories and the past, details would have been really good for this storygame.
It was pretty well written, but there was a lot of room for improvement. More detail would have been really nice, and character development was lacking a bit. The setting and plot, I liked.
There wasn't much emotion going on in this story, and it was hard for me to get a feel for the characters and try to relate to their emotion.
The pictures were a really good addition, because they helped me get more of a picture of what these things looked like when the writing didn't provide enough detail.
3/8, good job but not the best.
on 3/19/2017 8:00:30 PM
I'm going to assume that you put this in the Sci-Fi category because a lot of the events that take place are based on theories about early human evolution that haven't been definitively proven yet, but the way this game is structured and written makes it a better fit for the Edutainment category.
I did enjoy playing it, and you clearly did some research and found fitting pictures for each page. I appreciated how you allowed the reader to progress onto the next option without backtracking as well - that's something else that makes me feel like this is more an Edutainment game than a Sci-Fi one. There wasn't much written, but what's there is coherent, proofread, and gets the point across admirably.
If you're still interested in expanding this game, I would love to see more elaboration on how Neanderthals lived: their diet, community, how they hunted, both violent and nonviolent interactions with the invading Homo Sapiens, et cetera. It's definitely a very unique point of view, and could include a lot of educational theories about ancient flora and fauna as well as the beginnings of human civilization.
on 3/2/2016 3:01:22 AM
This is quite a short game, it doesn't mean that it can't be done well, but a few pointers:
- This game should be in 'Edutainment' rather than 'Sci-Fi Adventure'.
- The sudden deaths feel quite unrealistic. I researched the subject of surviving in the wild for the story I just published, and I can say that spear fishing/grabbing mussels in the waters would be the more rational choice in general, as hunting large prey brings a very high risk of injury, unless you hunt in packs and are very skilled with a spear or bow.
- Also, the title gives away your whole story, we already know what will happen, making the story less intriguing.
My recommendation would be to polish this story and make it a bit more factual in terms of actually surviving in the wild. You don't have to end everything with 'you die', there are other ways to wrap up a particular path.
on 2/29/2016 9:34:11 AM
this is really cool!!!!
-- The guy who loves this game! on 2/11/2017 8:13:31 PM
not much of a choise, is there?
on 3/8/2016 9:03:11 PM
Definitely an Edutainment game and not Sci-Fi, but the story was well written and informative.
on 3/7/2016 10:00:29 PM
This was interesting, although Future is right, it's in the wrong category. I have no idea why you'd put in it Sci-Fi. Other than that it was too short and had no branching out effect, as every choice was continue or die. I found the actual writing and content very interesting and educating, though, and would enjoy reading something else by you.
on 2/29/2016 12:38:41 PM
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