Fear the Psyker

a Fan Fiction by Steve24833

Commended by BerkaZerka on 9/21/2019 9:11:52 AM

Player Rating6.79/8

"#27 overall, #3 for 2016"
based on 373 ratings since 05/09/2018
played 4,131 times (finished 169)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length7/8

"It keeps going and going"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

Take control of Karth, a child with incredible powers born into a simple tribe on a feral world, as your life is torn apart by the arrival of the forces of Chaos. Fall into line as an obedient-slave soldier and fulfil your role as a trained killer, rise up against beings of pure hate and malice to try gain your freedom, or simply try to survive in a galaxy of horrors.

Well, I tried to write a Fanfiction based on Warhammer 40'000. If you're not familar with the series, don't worry, you don't need to be to play this. I hope you enjoy!

Player Comments

Let’s see if this actually works or if WIBN is Gandalf IRL: I’m going to get this comment featured. :)

Disclaimer: I feel inclined to mention that I have no idea what Warhammer is. Anything in here that could be a reference, went way over my head. If I critique something that was part of the Warhammer universe and not original content, you can disregard. That being said, a good fanfic should be able to stand on its own without relying too heavily on the reader’s lore knowledge (I realize the majority of fanfic readers usually will have plenty of knowledge). Alright here we go...

The first two things introduced are extremely interesting in my opinion. One being the main character, and the other is the world/your tribe. Ok, three things. Unlike the typical hero, the MC is frail, weak, and relies on his mental power rather than physical. Forget the Brad Pitt or Conan the Barbarian type MC, this one doesn’t have 22 inch biceps and abs of steel. And that’s not just due to the fact that he’s 12 in the beginning. It’s a cool dynamic to have the most important member of a tribe of hunters be the smart one, even though I identify more with the brainless brawn characters. In an early tribe setting, the leader is usually the baddest motherfucker in the room. Khal Drogo anyone? Very intriguing. The world introduced made me imagine an Amazonian setting. There were many primitive type themes: tribes, bows, jungle beasts, and the tribe members are idiots! Who needs armor? Real warriors fight with their ding-dongs exposed. Fight me if you disagree with that statement. You know what I’ll be wearing.

I’m guessing these are probably Warhammer creatures, but I found it refreshing to read sci-fi/fantasy without relying on the typical dwarves, elves, humans, and so on. Learning about the creatures (Puk, Gretchen, Greenskins) was like discovering a whole new world.

One thing I enjoy about Steve as an author is that there always seem to be decision-making during conflict occurrences. Plus, he’s really good at creating young characters without making them too grown-up or too much of a little shit. This is the third story of his that I’ve read and I’ve noticed the decision element in all stories so far. You think it should be a normal thing for a “choose” your own adventure, but it hasn’t been a common thing in a lot of the CYS games I’ve played. It definitely makes the game aspect of a “storygame” more enjoyable. Although he is by far my favorite author on this site, it would be a shame if every published game was “more story than game”. You know who I’m talking about. If you don’t, get the fuck outta here.

The first two characters you meet, besides the MC, are Duggin and Fay. I like Duggin’s lighthearted demeanor and ‘expertise’ when it comes to the MC’s condition. Duggin is somewhat of the typical dumb best friend, but you can’t help but feel for the guy. Fay is more mysterious. I am a bit confused why she is kept alive. If I’m not mistaken, wasn’t she was part of the enemy in the first combat scene? Little strange she would be allowed to watch over you sleep still armed with her sword. Then again if she’s willing to shit in the corner of the room just to watch you sleep, how dangerous can she really be? Can’t argue with that logic.

As with all of Steve’s writing, everything is well-written. The dialogue/banter is fun, engaging, and portrays the different character personalities in an accurate way. The way that Fay and the MC develop from kids to growing up is masterfully done. Instead of starting with fully formed characters, the reader gets to see (and experience!) character development. It pulls you into the story because there is sort of an investment you make into following the characters change and grow. I rated this one really high and even if you aren’t a Warhammer dweeb, I would recommend you play this storygame.
-- ninjapitka on 3/18/2019 1:33:56 PM with a score of 0
I'm going to get this comment featured. :)

Well, where to start... It's a good story like you always manage. I especially liked the humor and the daemon Mel... mel... oh Hell, I'll just call him M. He did remind me of Dendrin from Eternal, but I love both of those characters. I do wonder why M focused so much on our protagonist (though a bit was cleared up in a certain ending). I hope to see you developed their relationship if you ever make a sequel because I'd love to see more of our friendly daemon.

Fay is a bit of an interesting character. At first, I believed that you would take that character in plainly romantic directions due to... her original state of dress. Nonetheless, their relationship is mostly just two warriors and friends which I found refreshing (though there are ways to make their relationship a "relationship"). Her character development was lacking, for she was simply our protagonists' loyal, tough friend. The most interesting aspect of her that I found was *semi-spoilers* when she asked to be a couple. Regardless of the answer being yes or no, she would state that she agreed and wanted that answer *End Spoilers*. I believe that all she wanted was to make Karth happy which is a very nice thing to do in a very dark galaxy.

Speaking about the galaxy, I like the way you created this grimdark world. Everything's basically either corrupt, trying to kill, or doing both. The leaders of the various factions were all quite memorable which is a strong feat since there were so many of them. I was never lost or confused about the world, though I certainly have not much of a clue with what is beyond the very little of the universe that Karth has already seen.

The one major problem I have is the linear nature of the game. Much like Necromancers' non-demon path, the two options are either die and end the game or live and continue on with the storyline. Perhaps I missed something, but the only major variation that I found, from making opposite and surviving choices in two different play-throughs, was through on-page scripting. Nonetheless, your rather amazing writing abilities and the 8/8 length more than make up for this sole fault I can find with Fear the Psyker.

Finally, this is a fanficion... Damn, that's impressive. If it wasn't for the fact that you said that this is fanfiction (and my previous knowledge on Warhammer), I'd have no idea that this is FF. At least at the time of this posting, CYS needs some really good games to enter this category, and I am very thankful that you have. Hopefully, this shows that it is possible to actually write good ff in a choose your own story format. I give this an 8/8 especially since this is historically a less than stellar category.

Oh, also... Waaagh!
-- WouldntItBeNice on 10/9/2016 12:59:13 AM with a score of 0
This game was fun as hell, I wish I could find more stuff like it
-- Aiden on 4/5/2021 9:52:12 AM with a score of 0
It's amazing, both as an 40k fanfic and a story in general. Good use of the choices, good writing, good characters... Just amazing.
-- MikiCzm on 1/30/2021 4:04:18 PM with a score of 0
Considering the long length, that was a very well-written story. The grammar and sentence structure was excellent, and the pacing of the overall plot was appropriate. Perhaps most importantly, I was offered a wide diversity of choices, moral and otherwise, that allowed me to sculpt a final conclusion that felt very satisfying. I do feel like the set-up of the story geared the reader towards the ending I achieved, but the presence of other pathways was nice.

The world-building in this is well-done. The setting was very immersive, and by the end of the tale, I felt emotionally invested in many of the characters. I also liked how some of your important choices would be remembered even several pages into the gamebook, later, despite the merging of certain scenes from different choices.

SPOILER: I would have liked to see some more character development of the demon in your head. Perhaps he becomes more prominent in another route that I haven't been through yet? I'll have to comment on this once I've seen more of the pathways.

Overall rating: 7/8.
-- Reader82 on 12/21/2019 11:15:22 PM with a score of 0
A well structured, decently writen story. Some parts may be a tad bit 'bombastic', with decisions and situations being unaligned with reality, only a bit though. My biggest gripe would be the ending sequence, with continuity and spelling errors being prominent, and the final battle and closing dialogue being underdevoloped. Regardless, the story transfixes the reader all the same. I particulary appreciate the references throughout, and applaud the authors understanding of the universe.

Would recommend, and will play\read again.
-- Pancake the Eviscerator on 11/26/2019 8:04:59 PM with a score of 0
one of the best stories i've ever read that i don't even care about some spelling mistakes anymore haha!! :)
-- Hamyshah7 on 10/22/2019 12:25:05 AM with a score of 0
This is a 40K fan made story. You get to be enslaved by the bad guys and potentially lead a rebellion against them. Team up with a series of heretics should by and large be trying to kill each other and potentially you. Sometimes they'll do just that. You can also come across some other non-humans that Empire has largely forgotten about. Meet some Demon worshiping scum, who are OK people. Kill untold numbers with the power of your mind.

It's a fun story that breaks from the lore of the 40K universe. Give it a try.
-- DerPrussen on 6/17/2019 4:21:25 AM with a score of 0
-- Kuro on 3/17/2019 3:48:16 AM with a score of 0
It’s good
-- Cake on 8/26/2018 6:27:32 PM with a score of 0
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